Away run away, an adviser fleet of feet
Bag over his shoulder, fleeing Downing Street
Away run away, keep the infected at bay
Cos Dominic Cummings has upped and run away
Boris said he’s got it and Hancock’s coughing too
What’s a brave political adviser to do?
There’s government to govern and important things to say
But Dominic Cummings has upped and run away
Away run away, an adviser fleet of feet
Bag over his shoulder, fleeing Downing Street
Away run away, keep the infected at bay
Cos Dominic Cummings has upped and run away
He’s the man behind the plan of herd immunity
He said there’s nowt to fear for the majority
But now his boss has got it he’s looking rather grey
And Dominic Cummings has upped and run away
Away run away, an adviser fleet of feet
Bag over his shoulder, fleeing Downing Street
Away run away, keep the infected at bay
Cos Dominic Cummings has upped and run away
They say that a crisis is a making of a man
So where the hell was Cummings when the shit hit the fan
His boss was shaking hands with patients yesterday
Now Dominic Cummings has upped and run away
Away run away, an adviser fleet of feet
Bag over his shoulder, fleeing Downing Street
Away run away, keep the infected at bay
Cos Dominic Cummings has upped and run away
Charlie’s got ‘em (mild symptoms)
And Boris has got ‘em (mild symptoms)
Now Matt’s got ‘em (mild symptoms)
And they all got tested too
Matt says that he’s working from home
He says that you should too
But you can’t build luxury flats on the phone
You still have to get on the tube
Charlie’s got ‘em (mild symptoms)
And Boris has got ‘em (mild symptoms)
Now Matt’s got ‘em (mild symptoms)
And they all got tested too
Boris says he’s working from home
He’s urging you to do the same
But you can’t fix washing machines on the phone
And stayin’ home just won’t pay
Charlie’s got ‘em (mild symptoms)
And Boris has got ‘em (mild symptoms)
Now Matt’s got ‘em (mild symptoms)
And they all got tested too
Charlie’s working from one of his homes
But his staff don’t get a say
He can be the heir to the throne on the phone
‘Cos no-one’s listening anyway
Charlie’s got ‘em (mild symptoms)
And Boris has got ‘em (mild symptoms)
Now Matt’s got ‘em (mild symptoms)
And they all got tested too
Mild symptoms – not everybody gets ‘em
Mild symptoms – nor the level of protection
Mild symptoms – and tests for politicians
But not for the nurses or the clinicians
Charlie’s got ‘em (mild symptoms)
And Boris has got ‘em (mild symptoms)
Now Matt’s got ‘em (mild symptoms)
And they all got tested too
They all got tested too
Charlie’s got the virus
He’s seventy-one
Just as well it’s a while since he’s seen his mum
Charlies got the virus
He’s working from home
He’s got plenty of staff
So he’s not alone Yeah
Charlie’s got the virus
Charlie’s got the virus
Charlie’s got the virus
Now he knows what it’s like to be us
Charlie got tested
He’s important you see
Like a football player in division three
Charlie got tested
Though his cough is mild
He’s had the best care since he was a child
Yeah Charlie’s got the virus
Charlie’s got the virus
Charlie’s got the virus
Now he knows what it’s like to be us
Charlie’s had the virus
Since the 12th or thereabouts
He’s had it since speaking at the Mansion House
Charlies got the virus Like thousands of folk
But got treated much better as a royal bloke
Yeah Charlie’s got the virus
Charlie’s got the virus
Charlie’s got the virus
Now he knows what it’s like to be us
It’s Mother’s Day in the Johnson house
That’s six different kids from three different mothers
Mother’s Day in the Johnson house
And Carrie’s about to become another
There’s four kids with Marina
And one with Helen
Another one about which
He’s just not tellin’
And one on the way
That’ll make seven
Its Mother’s Day alright
Its Mother’s Day in the Johnson house
She’s a successful painter who’s 77
Mother’s Day in the Johnson house
Looking forward to an expensive present
He said “Not just a card,
Not just flowers”
I’m going to exercise
Emergency powers
People won’t see their mums
But I might see ours
Its Mother’s Day alright
Its Mother’s Day in the Johnson house
And staying away is good advice
Mother’s Day in the Johnson house
This year’s could come with a heavy price
It’s Mother’s Day alright.
Three cheers for the PM off the quiz show.
Covering our wages while on furlough.
But why didn’t he do it three weeks ago?
Instead mostly we just get nudge.
Nudge.
Three cheers for the PM off the quiz show
Who didn’t listen to the WHO.
We’re standing on the precipice, don’t you know?
And mostly we just get nudge.
Nudge.
Three cheers for the PM off the quiz show,
For shutting Bannatynes, the Rose, and Cargo.
But I read it first in the Metro
‘Cos mostly we just get nudge.
Nudge.
Nudge:
Makes you think that your neighbours are your judge.
Nudge:
Designed to make your opinion slightly budge.
Nudge:
Is Cumming’s tool but it’s used too much.
Nudge:
When you need leadership but just get fudge.
Three cheers for the PM of the shit show.
The cracks are appearing in the braggadocio.
The tube is as dangerous as the siege of Jericho.
Let the passengers off, or just nudge.
Nudge.
He’s got himself to the front of the queue
He’s got himself a touch of the ‘flu
He’s emptying shelves in aisle number two
He’s a bog roll billionaire
He’s got long-life milk, hand sanitiser,
All the Stella and most of the cider
He’s got no time for a government adviser
He’s a bog roll billionaire
The bog roll billionaire’s gonna be okay
The bog roll billionaire didn’t care much for other folks anyway
He says “Charity begins at home,
In my ex-council house, when I’m on the throne
I’m a bog roll billionaire”
He’s got a ton of pasta, a ton of rice
He’s got sauces in jars that aren’t very nice
He might let you have one, but at twice the price
He’s a bog roll billionaire
He’s got frozen cod, he’s got frozen plaice
He’s got three sacks of spuds, just in case
You know he’s parked in a disabled space
He’s a bog roll billionaire
The bog roll billionaire’s gonna be okay
The bog roll billionaire didn’t care much for other folks anyway
He says “Charity begins at home,
In my ex-council house, when I’m on the throne
I’m a bog roll billionaire”
Quarantine the Queen from COVID-19
She ain’t no human being
Quarantine the Queen from COVID-19
Fire up the royal submarine
‘Cos the dukes and the duchesses
Are cancelling flesh presses
Despite what HM Government says…..
So, quarantine the Queen from COVID-19
Preserve the national unity
There’s an exit plan for c’lebs but not one for the plebs
They can build their own immunity
And the spirit of the Blitz is throwing punches in the bog roll aisle in Tesco
And the spirit of the Blitz is pushing old folk out the way of the pasta shelves in CostCo
So, quarantine the Queen From COVID-19
Preserve the national unity
There’s an exit plan for c’lebs, but not one for the plebs
They can build their own immunity
She’s watching the TV, but she can’t explain
The lockdown in Italy, empty streets in Spain
While Matt Hancock lives up to his name
Says behavioural science told him to abstain
So, quarantine the Queen from COVID-19
The fascist regime
Quarantine the Queen from COVID-19
Fire up the royal submarine
The prime minister from Have I Got News For You
Says there’s nothing for us to do
Some people, sadly, will go before their time
And the Nudge Unit is his partner in crime
So, quarantine the Queen from COVID-19
Preserve the national unity
There’s an exit plan for c’lebs, but not one for the plebs
They can build their own immunity
And the spirit of the Blitz is throwing punches, in the bog roll aisle in Tesco
And the spirit of the Blitz is pushing old folk out the way, of the pasta shelves in CostCo
So, quarantine the Queen from COVID-19
Preserve the national unity
Or off with their heads for more NHS beds
To look after the community
Quarantine the Queen from COVID-19
Preserve the national unity
Or off with their heads for more NHS beds
To look after the community…..
Boxing Day: the big day in the hunting calendar and, amid horrid scenes from hunts across the country, including footage of a sab vehicle being battered with a dead fox 1, we got this from leading barrister, Jolyon Maugham:
Where do you start? What sort of person does that? And why? What sort of barrister, a QC no less, keeps a baseball bat handy, just in case? Further revelations from Mr Maugham included that he was wearing his wife Claire’s green kimono and was nursing a hangover with coffee at the time of the attack. The poor animal was trapped in netting near Mr Maugham’s chicken coop and Jolyon the Fox Batterer further excused his behaviour by explaining that the RSPCA were unavailable in Central London that day. 2
A one-off atrocity then, out of character from a man more used to a courtroom than a barroom brawl or, indeed, a baseball match, a man who has dedicated his not inconsiderable talent as a lawyer to taxation and to legal challenges to leaving the European Union. But wait, what about this tweet from November, some six weeks before he bludgeoned a fox to death in his garden, wearing his wife’s kimono?
Hard not to assume that the baseball bat is his weapon of choice, rather than just fell to hand, and was kept nearby for the explicit purpose of clubbing a fox to death. That’s not for us to determine, of course, that’ll be for the police, CPS and the courts. 3 Jolyon did, helpfully, ring the RSPCA and explain what he’d done once he realised that maybe his tweet hadn’t achieved overwhelming public support. It says a lot about his attitude to the fox’s life and cruel death that he thought it suitable material for his audience on Twitter.
So we say this: On this matter Mr Maugham, we are not on your side. We’re on the side of the fox.
Genuinely written one Boxing Day out of anger and frustration waiting for the hit reports to come in.
As the election approaches, a reminder: there may be no manifesto pledge to repeal the Hunting Act but Boris Johnson is pro-hunt. He repeatedly voted against the ban and even went so far as to suggest hunting urban foxes on horseback. “This will cause massive unpopularity but I don’t care” he quipped. Oh, what a laugh.
Of course Farage is too, it speaks of the imaginary England that he wants to return to, and he supports the violent and bloodthirsty Old Surrey, Burstow and West Kent hunt.[1] His decision not to stand in the election is both cowardly and cute, as it frees him up to travel the country campaigning with Brexit Party candidates with no pressure to succeed in his own constituency.
I’m acutely aware that Protest For Dummies, the album that features The Side of the Fox, is approaching it’s third birthday, and that the time, space, finance and recording logistics for the fourth Protest Family studio album are still matters for the future, so, taking them into my own hands, I will attempt to record the band myself over the next few weeks, having learned some valuable lessons in the process of creating solo efforts Snowflake and Fake News From Nowhere.
Fox, due a refresh with drums, is on the list, with another five songs currently in guide track form. Next step is Andi on the kit and then we’ll see.
So you’re Boris Johnson. You’ve bided your time as Tory leader (and by default Prime Minister) in waiting, struck when Theresa May was at her weakest (and let’s face it that wasn’t hard) and now you’ve made it, you are Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.
Problem: You have a working majority of one vote, propped up by bribing the right wing, socially conservative Democratic Unionist Party.
Solution: Take the UK out of the European Union, preferably with a deal but without if necessary, on 31st October, then call a general election, riding high on the headlines that you were the leader that succeeded where David Cameron and Theresa May failed, mopping up votes from the newly defunct Brexit Party, which was basically a home for Tory eurosceptics who didn’t believe that the Tories could achieve leaving the EU anyway, and return with a bigger majority from which you can claim a mandate to further your neo-liberal agenda.
Problem: Parliament (in which you have a working majority of one) is set against a no-deal Brexit and prepared to legislate against one. They also voted down Theresa May’s deal and every subsequent amendment as not good enough and, when given the option to create their own deal, failed to come up with an alternative. Worse, the EU have been kind but clear that there is no other deal on the table. Worse still the DUP, on whom you rely for a parliamentary majority, will not tolerate any deal that treats Northern Ireland differently from the rest of the UK and, despite talk of it, there is no alternative to a hard border between the UK and the EU in Ireland once tariff-free trade ends.
If Parliament legislates against leaving the EU without a deal and there is no other deal to be done the best that you can hope for is a further extension of Article 50, the worst a successful vote of no confidence moved by Jeremy Corbyn. In any event plans to call a snap election on the back of Brexit delivered on time would be in tatters.
Solution: Prevent Parliament from sitting, using what you’ve previously described as an arcane and undemocratic procedure, so that they can’t legislate to stop you leaving the EU by any means necessary on 31st October, tell some bold lies[1] in friendly media outlets and tough it out.
Problem: Shutting down democracy has brought thousands of demonstrators onto the streets, on the day prorogation was announced, at the weekend and more protests are set to follow.
Gird your loins comrades, keep fighting for democracy[2] and let’s figure out what it takes to make toughing it out no longer an option for Johnson. Let’s get the Tories out.
We know so may songs about him.
Steve
[1] Our post-truth, polarised world gives new meaning to the word “lie”. Politicians, press and the people all know he’s lying, it just doesn’t seem to matter.
[2] The real stuff, not what a bunch of Old Etonians debating in a medieval building pass off as democracy.
![20190831_142655[1]](https://protestfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/20190831_1426551.jpg?w=1075)
Steve White & The Protest Family 