Mare Nostrum, Lebensraum, Got Brexit Done

Mare Nostrum, Lebensraum, Got Brexit Done
Steve Bray’s amplifier nicked on Day One

Mare Nostrum, Lebensraum, Got Brexit Done
Danny Kruger, Prue Leith’s misogynist son
Signposts women’s rights nil, Supreme Court one

Mare Nostrum, Lebensraum, Got Brexit Done
1937 moment reaching for a gun
Uniform lapel pins for everyone
In the Daily Mail, Telegraph, Express and The Sun

Mare Nostrum, Lebensraum, Got Brexit Done
Migrants not refugees is how it’s spun
The Court of Human Rights being prepped to be shunned
As if God was yet another son of Eton
The meek shall inherit their own situation

Mare Nostrum, Lebensraum, Got Brexit Done
Organised labour is enemy number one

I Demand to See the Manager

Someone please bring me the manager of the working class
Some of them have stopped doing exactly what I asked
And they’re forming picket lines that other people won’t pass
So, someone please bring me the manager of the working class

Someone please bring me the manager of the working class
Richard Madeley on the telly said it was someone called Marx
But when I ask who’s in charge they just look at me askance
So, someone please bring me the manager of the working class

Someone please bring me the manager of the working class
Their ability to organise has left one quite aghast
Now they say the time for pay restraint has long since passed
So, someone please bring me the manager of the working class

Someone please bring me the manager of the working class
I’m finding their authority quite difficult to grasp
It’s not that Starmer fellow is it, by any chance?
Won’t someone please bring me the manager of the working class

Transport Secretary Michael Green

Lax Shapps talks crap to media hacks
His attacks collapse when you see the gaps
All he’s got is scraps and chaps, perhaps
The workers could be paid in claps

It’s as obscene
As a pyramid scheme
Sold to you by Michael Green

This Is the Country

This is the country of Grenfell Tower
This is a country of Grenfell towers
This is the country of promises made meant never to be kept
This is the country that prints its own money then says that it’s in debt
This is the country of deportation, transportation, denial, frustration and criminal deregulation
This is the country of imperial measures and roman numerals
This is the country of Westminster weddings and care home funerals
This is the country that locked down late
This is the country that calls itself great
This is the country of hypocrisy parties and poverty safaris
This is the country where a prince sells the Big Issue for a day, hooray
This is a country that thinks it’s at war
This is a country that says it’s at war
This is a country that somehow wants to be at war
This is the country where the vested interests of the proprietor dictate the headlines
This is the country that sells planes and bombs to armies that still use landmines
This is the country of run it down to sell it off
This is the country of the insufferable toff
This is the country of fire and re-hire or fire and hire someone else
This is the country whose only answer is just to tighten your belts
This is the country of misconduct in public office and rising hedge fund profits
This is a country of structural prejudice
This is the country of in-work benefits
This is the country of Hillsborough, Orgreave, justice delayed and justice denied
This is the country where the Prime Minister just lied and lied and lied and lied
This is the country that does its politics in easy three-word bites
This is the country that wants to debate if humans should have rights
This is the country of the hostile environment
This is the country of Grenfell Tower

Fido (And His Escape From Deportation to Rwanda)

They found him on the beach at Dover
But his ordeal was far from over
Checking for food in the bins
Fido was looking quite thin
So they scooped him up and took him to the pound
Left him in the company of other lost hounds
Saying it was definitely for the best
That Fido’s case should be quickly processed

How did he get here? Was it a legal route?
Where is his collar and lead?
Why is it never bitches or puppies?
Did he just throw his tag in the sea?
Is it just ‘cause the bins are better in Dover?
Did he just want a more benevolent owner?
Did he think we’d just hand him a nice marrow bone
And a bed in a new, warm, comfy home?

Fido barked his answers with canine candour
But the decision had been made, he was off to Rwanda

When the story broke, there was outrage
The Daily Mail devoted the whole front page
This is a nation of animal lovers
And we demand that no dog ever suffers
Transportation to a foreign land
On this the paper will make its stand
The Sun, The Express and even The Times
Said that dog deportations were animal crimes

The Prime Minister was forced to agree
Shed a crocodile tear on breakfast TV
Said on dog trafficking we must draw a line
And the Home Secretary was forced to resign

So woe betide the politician who ever forgets
That we measure our compassion by the way we treat our pets

Nasty, British and Short

He’s on the socials
Sweating like a prince
Trying to convince the locals
That a bit more cash would be nice
His lawyer comes at a heavy price

He’s had a bad day in court
Had to admit ripping off his support
He spaffed their dough
In the casino
And on booze and parties
Blues and smarties
Too much of a geezer
To pay for his kids either

Although he’s the beneficiary, apparently
Of his own life insurance policy
If he’s murdered he says he’s worth a million pounds

One day he says he’s worth a mint
Next day he’s saying that he’s skint
It ain’t just the truth
Getting ready for a stretch

He’s had a bad day in court
He’s nasty, British and short