The Lies They Tell You About Refugees

It’s worse now than it’s ever been“.

In fact the numbers are at around half of the 2002 peak.

They’re mostly economic migrants with no right to be here“.

In fact the percentage of successful claims for asylum is rising.

It’s a crisis not of our making“.

It’s the Home Office failing to process applications that appears to be the problem.

They all want to come here and not to any other safe country“.

Not even close.

Kent has been hit particularly hard“.

Doesn’t look like it.

“We’re a soft touch”.

£41 a week…


Suella & Rachel

Suella dreams of deportation
Traffic to another nation
Cruelty to refugees
Her obsession, how did we
Ever end up here?

Rachel waiting in the wings
Hums the tune Suella sings
Cruelty to refugees
Shadow policy with speed
Don’t ever end up here

Fido (And His Escape From Deportation to Rwanda)

They found him on the beach at Dover
But his ordeal was far from over
Checking for food in the bins
Fido was looking quite thin
So they scooped him up and took him to the pound
Left him in the company of other lost hounds
Saying it was definitely for the best
That Fido’s case should be quickly processed

How did he get here? Was it a legal route?
Where is his collar and lead?
Why is it never bitches or puppies?
Did he just throw his tag in the sea?
Is it just ‘cause the bins are better in Dover?
Did he just want a more benevolent owner?
Did he think we’d just hand him a nice marrow bone
And a bed in a new, warm, comfy home?

Fido barked his answers with canine candour
But the decision had been made, he was off to Rwanda

When the story broke, there was outrage
The Daily Mail devoted the whole front page
This is a nation of animal lovers
And we demand that no dog ever suffers
Transportation to a foreign land
On this the paper will make its stand
The Sun, The Express and even The Times
Said that dog deportations were animal crimes

The Prime Minister was forced to agree
Shed a crocodile tear on breakfast TV
Said on dog trafficking we must draw a line
And the Home Secretary was forced to resign

So woe betide the politician who ever forgets
That we measure our compassion by the way we treat our pets

And Mogg Tweeted Alleluia

Canterbury’s putting up resistance
To the ungodly policy of offshore asylum
Love thy neighbour but only from a distance
Sounding Johnson’s Operation Red Meat siren

But Castle’s voice from the pews cried we tithed for our views
And we don’t like change around here
You shouldn’t get to choose your country of refuge
And Rwanda’s very nice this time of year we hear

So Secretary Patel issued ministerial direction
To whistle up the dog a fascist bone
Of immigration by racial selection
A one-way ticket or a middle-class home

More folk will die of Covid in 2022
Than seek asylum in this green and pleasant land
Swiftly and humanely removed is the clue
To the Easter politics of the damned

Canterbury’s putting up resistance
But Johnson and Patel just say screw ya
We’re loving our neighbours but only at a distance
And Mogg tweeted Alleluia

Priti Little Britain (And You Can’t Come In)

I’m visiting Poland to speak about you, but you can’t come in
I’ll light up a building in yellow and blue, but you can’t come in

We’ll tell the world that we’re leading the world, but you can’t come in
And your criticism will go unheard, ‘cause you can’t come in

You can’t come in
No, you can’t come in
This is Priti little Britain
Such a pretty Little Britain
That immigration is forbidden
And you can’t come in

I’ll promise you my solidarity, but you can’t come in
You’d be better off in Poland or Germany, ‘cause you can’t come in

We’re being just as generous as we can, but you can’t come in
We’re expressing our love for our fellow man, but you can’t come in

You can’t come in
No, you can’t come in
This is Priti little Britain
Such a pretty Little Britain
That immigration is forbidden
And you can’t come in

I’ll set up a centre, and then lock the door, ‘cause you can’t come in
There’s a process to follow, just to make sure that you can’t come in

Don’t forget you’re a security threat, so you can’t come in
And we still haven’t housed the Afghans yet, so you can’t come in

You can’t come in
No, you can’t come in
This is Priti little Britain
Such a pretty Little Britain
That immigration is forbidden
And you can’t come in

(Yes, there is a tune. Look out for the next edition of the Protest Family Podcast to hear it.)

FarmFest 2019

The Catholic Worker Farm and Mary House provide accommodation, food, English lessons, counselling and other services for 19 destitute (without access to public funds) female asylum seekers… and their children, at no charge.”

Three generations ago, my ancestors were what would now be called refugees or asylum seekers, fleeing oppression and murder.  We now live in a time of unprecedented numbers of people doing the same thing.  Women refugees – about a third of the total in the UK – suffer particular problems and are more likely to become victims of violence, including sexual violence.  Women refugees with children are at serious risk of having their children taken into care.

The Catholic Worker Farm have to fund their essential work supporting women.  One way they do this is by holding events such as FarmFest – a four day festival across the late August Bank Holiday weekend.  We’re proud to be playing this year – on Monday 26th August, time to be confirmed.

It’s cheap as chips to get in: £35 for the whole weekend for adults, half-price for kids, free for 0-5 year olds.  That includes 33 musical acts plus comedy, FREE camping and FREE parking, if you need it.  If you’re not doing the whole weekend, you can pay £10 per day.  And yes, there’s real ale.

It’s all happening on a farm in Rickmansworth, inside the M25.  See you there?


George of The Jungle

The story of a dragon-slaying Syrian, set to become one of England’s national heroes; it’s patron saint no less. If only he could get past the border guards at Calais.

Released as a video single on YouTube on Sunday 27th December.

It’s here.