This Is the Country

This is the country of Grenfell Tower
This is a country of Grenfell towers
This is the country of promises made meant never to be kept
This is the country that prints its own money then says that it’s in debt
This is the country of deportation, transportation, denial, frustration and criminal deregulation
This is the country of imperial measures and roman numerals
This is the country of Westminster weddings and care home funerals
This is the country that locked down late
This is the country that calls itself great
This is the country of hypocrisy parties and poverty safaris
This is the country where a prince sells the Big Issue for a day, hooray
This is a country that thinks it’s at war
This is a country that says it’s at war
This is a country that somehow wants to be at war
This is the country where the vested interests of the proprietor dictate the headlines
This is the country that sells planes and bombs to armies that still use landmines
This is the country of run it down to sell it off
This is the country of the insufferable toff
This is the country of fire and re-hire or fire and hire someone else
This is the country whose only answer is just to tighten your belts
This is the country of misconduct in public office and rising hedge fund profits
This is a country of structural prejudice
This is the country of in-work benefits
This is the country of Hillsborough, Orgreave, justice delayed and justice denied
This is the country where the Prime Minister just lied and lied and lied and lied
This is the country that does its politics in easy three-word bites
This is the country that wants to debate if humans should have rights
This is the country of the hostile environment
This is the country of Grenfell Tower

Fido (And His Escape From Deportation to Rwanda)

They found him on the beach at Dover
But his ordeal was far from over
Checking for food in the bins
Fido was looking quite thin
So they scooped him up and took him to the pound
Left him in the company of other lost hounds
Saying it was definitely for the best
That Fido’s case should be quickly processed

How did he get here? Was it a legal route?
Where is his collar and lead?
Why is it never bitches or puppies?
Did he just throw his tag in the sea?
Is it just ‘cause the bins are better in Dover?
Did he just want a more benevolent owner?
Did he think we’d just hand him a nice marrow bone
And a bed in a new, warm, comfy home?

Fido barked his answers with canine candour
But the decision had been made, he was off to Rwanda

When the story broke, there was outrage
The Daily Mail devoted the whole front page
This is a nation of animal lovers
And we demand that no dog ever suffers
Transportation to a foreign land
On this the paper will make its stand
The Sun, The Express and even The Times
Said that dog deportations were animal crimes

The Prime Minister was forced to agree
Shed a crocodile tear on breakfast TV
Said on dog trafficking we must draw a line
And the Home Secretary was forced to resign

So woe betide the politician who ever forgets
That we measure our compassion by the way we treat our pets

And Mogg Tweeted Alleluia

Canterbury’s putting up resistance
To the ungodly policy of offshore asylum
Love thy neighbour but only from a distance
Sounding Johnson’s Operation Red Meat siren

But Castle’s voice from the pews cried we tithed for our views
And we don’t like change around here
You shouldn’t get to choose your country of refuge
And Rwanda’s very nice this time of year we hear

So Secretary Patel issued ministerial direction
To whistle up the dog a fascist bone
Of immigration by racial selection
A one-way ticket or a middle-class home

More folk will die of Covid in 2022
Than seek asylum in this green and pleasant land
Swiftly and humanely removed is the clue
To the Easter politics of the damned

Canterbury’s putting up resistance
But Johnson and Patel just say screw ya
We’re loving our neighbours but only at a distance
And Mogg tweeted Alleluia