Pincher by name, pincher by nature
Spaffer backed the groper until it hit the paper
Known to be handsy, where’s the hand you can’t see
Spaffer and the groper, wouldn’t you fancy
That they’re two of a kind, of the same mind
An exercise of power with the grasp of a behind
No surprise, therefore, to hear more lies
Complaints about the pincher that Spaffer denies
Ever hearing, but once he’s lied in a knot
Yet again, he’s simply going to say that he forgot
Tag: COVID-19
This Is the Country
This is the country of Grenfell Tower
This is a country of Grenfell towers
This is the country of promises made meant never to be kept
This is the country that prints its own money then says that it’s in debt
This is the country of deportation, transportation, denial, frustration and criminal deregulation
This is the country of imperial measures and roman numerals
This is the country of Westminster weddings and care home funerals
This is the country that locked down late
This is the country that calls itself great
This is the country of hypocrisy parties and poverty safaris
This is the country where a prince sells the Big Issue for a day, hooray
This is a country that thinks it’s at war
This is a country that says it’s at war
This is a country that somehow wants to be at war
This is the country where the vested interests of the proprietor dictate the headlines
This is the country that sells planes and bombs to armies that still use landmines
This is the country of run it down to sell it off
This is the country of the insufferable toff
This is the country of fire and re-hire or fire and hire someone else
This is the country whose only answer is just to tighten your belts
This is the country of misconduct in public office and rising hedge fund profits
This is a country of structural prejudice
This is the country of in-work benefits
This is the country of Hillsborough, Orgreave, justice delayed and justice denied
This is the country where the Prime Minister just lied and lied and lied and lied
This is the country that does its politics in easy three-word bites
This is the country that wants to debate if humans should have rights
This is the country of the hostile environment
This is the country of Grenfell Tower
The King of Lockdown
The King of Lockdown raised a glass
A toast to ghosts of empires past
His gaze steadfast upon the cast
Of gathered acolytes, his class
And scenes they would deny
The grape and grain of government
Authors of instruction meant
For others, never their intent
Without consent of votes once lent
Ever to comply
The King of Lockdown, slovenly
Dismissive of discovery
Of drunken, workless company
Endemic this incumbency
Would simply tell a lie
The King of Lockdown, King of Bluff
Born of the stuff to just rebuff
Never knows when it’s enough
Never goes when it gets tough
Lets truth slide idly by
Trickle-Down Town
Trickle-down misery
Trickle-down poverty
Trickle down lies
And trickle-down dishonesty
Trickle-down rules
From a trickle-down clown
Only trickle down
In Trickle-Down Town
Trickle-down parties
With trickle-down cakes
Trickle-down suitcased
Trickle-down fakes
Trickle-down fines
Come trickling down
From fifties to thousands
In Trickle-Down Town
The trickle-down cough’s
Still trickle-down persistent
The trickle-down prof.’s
Still pretty non-existent
Now poxy monkey pox
Is trickling down
‘Cause the A/C’s always off
In Trickle-Down Town
The trickle-down penny
Still hasn’t dropped
The trickle-down rises
Still haven’t stopped
Rishi’s five pence
Is nowhere to be found
On any forecourt
In Trickle-Down Town
Trickle-down prices
Are trickle-down rising
A trickle-down crisis
Is hardly surprising
When trickle-down profits
Are still never found
In the trickle-down pockets
Of Trickle-Down Town
The trickle-down prince
Reads a trickle-down speech
To a trickle-down house
With trickle-down reach
Sat on a trickle-down throne
Next to a trickle-down crown
Now they boo the national anthem
In Trickle-Down Town
Stealth Omicron
He’s splutting and coughering
Hot and bloody bothering
Feeling pretty rotten
And he’s tested twice
He’s sneezin’ and wheezin’
And snottin’ like a wee thing
It isn’t very pleasin’
It’s not very nice
But give him a day or two
It takes a while to come to view
He’ll get his second line up too
And now he’s had it twice
It’s Omicron
They call it stealth Omicron
With no rules to rely upon
It’s BA.2 for you and you and you
It’s Omicron
He’s got Stealth Omicron
With no test and no mask on
It’s BA.2 for you and you and you
He thought it was a heavy cold
He thought he’d got it all controlled
Now that LFTs are sold
Who’s gonna buy?
Now he’s coughing and spluttering
Shivering and shuddering
The country is recovering’s
Another lie
He’s one in a million
No, one of a million
Infected civilians
The number’s pretty high
It’s Omicron
They call it stealth Omicron
With no rules to rely upon
It’s BA.2 for you and you and you
It’s Omicron
He’s got Stealth Omicron
With no test and no mask on
It’s BA.2 for you and you and you
He’s one in a million
No, one of a million
Infected civilians
The number’s pretty high
When Is It Over?
When is it over?
It’s over today
What on earth do you mean, said he
She said, it’s not gone away
But it’s over today
Because tests are no longer free
As a fool once said
In the time that he led
If you don’t look, then you won’t see
So, it’s over today
Without going away
Because tests are no longer free
Gangster Government
Gangster government for gangster bosses
Cutting their losses
With jobs and rights
Gangster government for gangster firms
Ripping up terms
To DP’s delight
Gangster governments for gangster companies
P&O Ferries
It ain’t alright
Gangster government’s crocodile tears
As it appears
They knew that night
Gangster government’s Brittania Unchained
Holds workers in disdain
That’s the Tory right
Gangster government for gangster oligarchs
Swimming with the sharks
Forgetting that they bite
Gangster government for gangster lobbies
Ignoring the bodies
With indifferent spite
Spaffer Flies to Ukraine
Spaffer Bodycount’s in the Ukraine
While back home Sue’s not named a name
Nor has Cressida, whose investigative prognosis
Is to name no names in a fixed penalty notice
We now see Save Big Dog in action
A report without need for redaction
Cites numerous cases of bad behaviour
Leadership and judgement failure
Bullying and drinking culture
All the fault of the management structure
Thus, the investigation, admittedly provisional
Finds fault with no named individual
The ensuing debate in Parliament
Saw the speaker end the argument
By throwing the SNP’s Blackford out
With a smirk on Bodycount’s face throughout
The Scotsman’s crime? To tell the truth
Obvious to even the most hapless sleuth
That the PM without doubts
Had once more mislead the house
The rules of Parliament, it transpires
Protect the members from being called liars
With more weight lent to disrespect
Than statements patently correct
While protecting the scoundrel prepared to channel
The ghost of paedophile Jimmy Savile
(Let’s not forget that distain
For investigation of the same
Is what gave Spaffer his name)
But back to the report itself
Before it’s found a convenient shelf
Compiled by the woman responsible
For MP Damien Green’s downfall
When he touched Kate Maltby inappropriately
And used work time to watch pornography
She also did a review, less blue
Of what was said at Plebgate too
But on Partygate she’s circumspect
As we’ve already come to expect
Handing over, on its release,
Responsibility to the police
Who’ve already hinted their intention
Is for names to not be mentioned
So as Save Big Dog hit its peak
It was time for Starmer to speak
With calls for integrity and honesty
Action with moral authority
Not the cruel smirks of superiority
Protected by an eighty-seat majority
But his calls for Bodycount to resign
Would require a leader with a spine
Not a naughty kid prepared to try
To hide behind a preposterous lie
So obvious and fake
As ambushed by a birthday cake
But if the 1922 Committee
By clever speech or desperate pity
Allow Bodycount to stay in role
Then they’d to well to avoid a poll
All of which now say
The public think he’s had his day
His loyalists, increasingly few
Have got some catching up to do
Like Truss, newly deep of voice
And Dorries who, if given the choice
Would rather another G&T
Than an interview on the TV
News just in, by the way
That the Met Police now say
That if Bodycount is handed a fine
Then he will be named at the time
So, if Dame Dick’s prepared to deny him
How much time will this trip buy him?
‘Cause Spaffer Bodycount’s in the Ukraine
A stateman-like wave on the steps of the plane
Can’t explain to a nation in pain
From do-as-I-sayers, not do-as-I-doers
With families in castles and morals in sewers
With lockdowns for you and parties for them
And lies again and again and again
That it’s one rule for them and another for you
Just how long do you think that he thinks that will do?
INVESTIGATION INTO ALLEGED GATHERINGS ON GOVERNMENT PREMISES DURING COVID RESTRICTIONS – UPDATE
Sue says when the pandemic’s high
Sue says when you restrict others’ lives
Sue says parties are difficult to justify
But Sue Gray don’t name names
Sue says it’s a serious failure
Sue says it’s thoughtless behaviour
Sue says how do you think it will appear
But Sue Gray don’t name names
Sue says consumption of excess alcohol
Sue says shouldn’t happen at work at all
Sue says it’s not very professional
But Sue Gray don’t name names
Sue says the police are investigating
Sue says no more info is circulating
Sue says we shouldn’t be speculating
And Sue Gray don’t name names
Whose Rules?
Wash your hands, sing Happy Birthday
To mitigate airborne disease
While Bodycount and Downing Street
Have work events with wine and cheese
Mourn your dead by video conference
Press your palm on care home glass
While basement DJs spin the hits
For the drunken ruling class
Know your place, a three-word slogan
Take back control, get Brexit done
Silent spads and tight-lipped coppers
Will keep things quiet for now, for some
A wine time Friday, leaving party
Garden gathering, birthday cake
Who’s the fool when saving lives
Depends upon the rules they make
Steve White & The Protest Family 