Harry, Won’t You Fly With Me

Let me tell you ‘bout a boy named Harry
And all the fuss about the girl he married
She weren’t like them, she was a celebrity
No eyes of blue, American too
She would never fit in to their family

But she sang
Harry, Harry won’t you fly with me
It could be so much better
Shooting Taliban together
What a power couple we will be

Let me tell you ’bout a bloke called Charlie
Spent his whole life waiting for his mum’s last party
Crowned at last and everything would be alright
Then son number one
And son number two
Had a set too and broke the dog’s bowl in a fight

While she sang
Harry, Harry won’t you fly with me
It could be so much better
Shooting Taliban together
What a power couple we will be

Let me tell you ’bout a woman called Camilla
Charlie’s regular date for dinner
The Princess of All Our Hearts ain’t for me
I wanna be your tampon
Come on, let’s get it on
I don’t care if I’m indiscreet

And she sang
Harry, Harry won’t you fly with me
It could be so much better
Shooting Taliban together
What a power couple we will be

Let me tell you ’bout a prince called William
The whole of Wales was his dominion
Hier to the throne, all he has to do is stay alive
But he fought with his brother
In the absence of his mother
About their choice of royal wives

And she sang
Harry, Harry won’t you fly with me
It could be so much better
Shooting Taliban together
What a power couple we will be

Let me tell you ’bout the whole damn lot of ‘em
How much better it would be to be shot of ‘em
Off with their heads, and those of all their friends
Gold, gilt and greed
Something we don’t need
And that’s the way the story ends

While she sang
Harry, Harry won’t you fly with me
It could be so much better
Shooting Taliban together
What a power couple we will be

Elwood’s Organic Dog Meat Farm

Inspired by Elwood

Rover was the best dog we ever had
Rover made a lovely kebab
With chilli sauce he was really not bad
Bless him, Rover, what a good lad
Rover was the best dog we ever had

From Elwood’s Organic Dog Meat Farm
Elwood’s Organic Dog Meat Farm
Elwood’s dogs never come to no harm
‘Til they meet their fate
And end up on your plate

From corgi curry to Pomeranian stew
There ain’t a dish that dog meat cannot do
Local, organic and sustainably raised
You can eat ‘em grilled, you can eat ‘em braised
Always fresh, why not pick up a cut or two

From Elwood’s Organic Dog Meat Farm
Elwood’s Organic Dog Meat Farm
Elwood’s dogs never come to no harm
‘Til they meet their fate
And end up on your plate

Sausages should be made of sausage dogs
And Labrador steaks, well just because
Dogs and bitches make the best sandwiches
Enjoyed of course
With our special sauce

From Elwood’s Organic Dog Meat Farm
Elwood’s Organic Dog Meat Farm
Elwood’s dogs never come to no harm
‘Til they meet their fate
And end up on your plate

All* the Christmas Songs in the Same Place

Santa Is English

Christmas Bubble Trouble

Christmas With The Vulnerables

The Day They Cancelled Christmas

And the one cover version that we do every year:

*Lost in the mists of time is Steve singing Mary Had a Tory Baby. It went out live on a Punk 4 The Homeless live stream never to be seen again. If anyone has a copy, please let us know.

The 21st Century Money Trick

Every day of your life
Every penny you make
You’re gonna spend it
On the things that you need
The things that you want
You’re gonna beg, borrow, steal or lend it
But in the morning when Rishi gets out of bed
In his account there’s even more of your bread
Because the money always trickles up
When they say it trickles down

Now Rishi will tell ya
He’s a jolly fine fella
Who sorted your furlough out
But who did he pay
At the end of the day
Those with or those without
‘Cause he borrowed loads of money, gave it to me and you
And we went and spent it all on bills and food
And that’s how furlough trickled up
When they said it trickled down

It’s the 21st Century money trick
Same as the old one but twice as quick
Borrow loads of money at the public expense
And get ‘em to spend it with your wealthy friends

The stuff you need to buy
You inevitably buy
From a billionaire
Whose money makes money
Just on account
Of being loads and being there
So there’s a hole in your pocket where your wages go
While his pile of money continues to grow
And that’s how the money trickles up
When they say it trickles down

It’s the 21st Century money trick
Same as the old one but twice as quick
Borrow loads of money at the public expense
And get ‘em to spend it with your wealthy friends

Every day of your life
Every penny you earn
You’re gonna spend it
But in the billionaire’s garden
The money tree grows
Well defended
‘Cause your work makes money, but his money makes money
So when it rains on you, he’s still sunny
And that’s how the money trickles up
When they say it trickles down

Dead End Friends

A story as old as Stan.

RIP Molly.

Molly shouted into the wind
But the wind never replied
Molly shouted louder but the wind never hears
The wind just blows on by
All Molly needed was someone to listen….

So, Molly sent a message to her dead-end friends
Dead-end friends are right on trend
Molly sent a message to her dead-end friends
But dead-end friends can’t heal…
‘Cause dead-end friends aren’t real

Molly ran down a one-way street
With something terrible to say
Molly ran harder but nothing came back
Nothing ever comes the other way
All Molly needed was someone to listen

So, Molly sent a message to her dead-end friends
Dead-end friends are right on trend
Molly sent a message to her dead-end friends
But dead-end friends can’t heal…
‘Cause dead-end friends aren’t real

The wind, it never listens
The street, it never changes
The wind, it never listens
And Molly
Was ready
To be among the stars…

Molly sent a message to her dead-end friends
Dead-end friends are right on trend
Molly sent a message to her dead-end friends
But dead-end friends can’t heal…
‘Cause dead-end friends aren’t real

Molly sent a message to her dead-end friends
Dead-end friends are right on trend
Molly sent a message to her dead-end friends
But dead-end friends can’t heal…….
‘Cause dead-end friends aren’t real

Tesco

Do they want the pub boarded up?
Do they want the chip shop shut?
Who’ll bake the bread when the baker’s bust?
In the high street they let turn to dust

You’re gonna have to go to Tesco
Get a couple of cans to go
They want you to go to Tesco
Tesco’s where they want you to go

When you’re keeping warm in the library
Or the café with a two-hour cup of coffee
‘Til you need to leave this table, sorry
That’s not where they want you to be

They want you to go to Tesco
Tesco’ll have their gas bill dough
They want you to go to Tesco
Tesco’s where they want you to go

A nation of shopkeepers shutting up shop
When the gas price rises just won’t stop
And the Government’s asleep at the wheel
Tell me, how does it feel

When all that’s left is to go to Tesco
Like it used to be but somehow less so
They want you to go to Tesco
Tesco’s where they want you to go

John Henry

Like Boris Johnson gaslighting you about your gas bill, the myth of hard work is that if capitalism isn’t working for you it’s because you’re not working hard enough, and nothing to do with the whole crooked system being engineered to make very rich people even richer at your expense. Prime Minister in Waiting and co-author of Britannia Unchained, Liz Truss, is precisely one of those people who benefit from you believing that all you need to succeed is a little hard work and this country’s failing infrastructure is your fault for not grafting quite hard enough; her role after all is to protect the private sector and big business at all costs and not to look after you, no matter what she says. Don’t let her get away with it.

John Henry had his hammer, Stakhanov a jackhammer too
But Liz says that the British worker is an idler through and through
Now, hard work killed John Henry, and hard work will kill you too
So, when Liz says you need more hard graft, you know what you have to do

Tell her we’ll do a good day’s work, but for a good day’s pay
And when the union comes calling, we’ll take our work away
‘Cause we won’t break our backs for a boss who won’t pay tax
And we’ll do our stint together and our way, oh yeah
We’ll do our stint together and our way

John Henry, he built the railroad, Stakhanov, he mined for coal
But Liz says that the British worker prefers life on the dole
Now, hard work killed John Henry, and hard work will kill you too
So, when Liz says the nation lacks skill and application, you know what you have to do

Tell her we’ll do a good day’s work, but for a good day’s pay
And when the union comes calling, we’ll take our work away
‘Cause we won’t break our backs for a boss who won’t pay tax
And we’ll do our stint together and our way, oh yeah
We’ll do our stint together and our way

John Henry was buried in the morning, Alexei raised a glass
But Liz says that the British worker needs a kick up the arse
Now, hard work killed John Henry, and hard work will kill you too
So, when Liz comes promising some levelling up, you know what you have to do

Tell her we’ll do a good day’s work, but for a good day’s pay
And when the union comes calling, we’ll take our work away
‘Cause we won’t break our backs for a boss who won’t pay tax
And we’ll do our stint together and our way, oh yeah
We’ll do our stint together and our way, oh yeah
We’ll do our stint together and our way

When the Sun Goes Down

She had to stop watching the news when she became the news
Another poverty safari into a lifestyle she didn’t choose
She hardly has the lights on at this time of year
And like the feeling going around
She’s feeling like she’s gonna drown
And she don’t know what she’s gonna do when the sun goes down
She don’t know what she’s gonna do
She don’t know what she’s gonna do
She don’t know what she’s gonna do when the sun goes down

Blackouts to hide from bailiffs rather than warplanes
But it’s war just the same, in all but name, with a wartime price to be paid
And something to eat will have to wait until tomorrow now
‘Cause like the feeling going around
She’s feeling like she’s gonna drown
And she don’t know what she’s gonna do when the sun goes down
She don’t know what she’s gonna do
She don’t know what she’s gonna do
She don’t know what she’s gonna do when the sun goes down
When the sun goes down
When the sun goes down
She don’t know what she’s gonna do when the sun goes down

Fat Cats

Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter and you don’t matter
To the bosses the bankers and the billionaires
Fat cats get fatter

They’re talking ‘bout the price of gas
They say handouts are kinda crass
The sinking ship’s still fulla rats
Who like to think they’re friends with cats

(While)
Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter and you don’t matter
To the bosses the bankers and the billionaires
Fat cats get fatter

They’re talking ‘bout the price of you
The pay rise that you’re due
They’re telling you to join the queue
For the credit card they overdrew

(And)
Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter and you don’t matter
To the bosses the bankers and the billionaires
Fat cats get fatter

If in the morning they were all gone
Everyone would see the con
If the billionaires had upped and run
All the work would still get done

(While)
Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter and you don’t matter
To the bosses the bankers and the billionaires
Fat cats get fatter

Fat cats
Get fatter
Fat cats
Get fatter
Fat cats
Get fatter
Fat cats
Get fatter
Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter and you don’t matter
To the bosses the bankers and the billionaires
Fat cats get fatter

They’re literally printing money (not literally)
Their uplands are always sunny
While the country descends into poverty
They’re all on fuckin’ holiday

(‘Cause)
Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter and you don’t matter
To the bosses the bankers and the billionaires
The bosses the bankers and the billionaires
The bosses the bankers and the billionaires
The bosses the bankers and the billionaires
Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter
Fat cats get fatter and you don’t matter
To the bosses the bankers and the billionaires
Fat cats get fatter

Waitrose Woman and Meal Deal Man

Waitrose Woman loves Meal Deal Man
But she’s doesn’t understand
How he’s just getting by

Waitrose Woman loves Meal Deal Man
But she doesn’t understand
And she’s forgetting why

Waitrose Woman works in the city
Loves low taxes and the NHS
Waitrose Woman lives in Surrey
Has two kids and a dog called Bess
Waitrose woman likes Radio 4
She doesn’t really feel the culture war
She feels very sorry for the kids of the poor
She buys their dusters at the door
She knows that she’s okay
She knows that she’s okay

Meal Deal Man lives in the city
He’s already eaten his one-a-day
Meal Deal Man works for a living
But he’s going to the food bank today
Meal Deal Man gets his benefits paid
He lies in the bed they say he made
His shirt is clean but his collar is frayed
He used to vote but just feels betrayed
He knows he’s not okay
He knows he’s not okay

Meal Deal Man drinks a Wetherspoons coffee
It’s not very nice but the pub is warm
Meal Deal Man knows there’s heat in the bookies
And they’ll leave him alone to study the form
Meal Deal Man’s card gets declined
Meal Deal Man knows life’s unkind
Meal Deal Man’s been left behind
Even though he’s always tried
He knows he’s not okay
He knows he’s not okay

Waitrose Woman likes a glass of wine
A ripe avocado and wholemeal bread
Waitrose Woman loves her warm kitchen
And cool sheets when she slips into bed
Waitrose Woman knows we’re all the same
She feels very sorry for the sick and the lame
She thinks that poverty is a shame
But hard work is the name of the game
She knows that she’s okay
She knows that she’s okay

Waitrose Woman loves Meal Deal Man
But she’s doesn’t understand
How he’s just getting by

Waitrose Woman loves Meal Deal Man
But she doesn’t understand
And she’s forgetting why
She’s forgetting why
She’s forgetting why
She’s forgetting why