Trickle-Down Town

Trickle-down misery
Trickle-down poverty
Trickle down lies
And trickle-down dishonesty
Trickle-down rules
From a trickle-down clown
Only trickle down
In Trickle-Down Town

Trickle-down parties
With trickle-down cakes
Trickle-down suitcased
Trickle-down fakes
Trickle-down fines
Come trickling down
From fifties to thousands
In Trickle-Down Town

The trickle-down cough’s
Still trickle-down persistent
The trickle-down prof.’s
Still pretty non-existent
Now poxy monkey pox
Is trickling down
‘Cause the A/C’s always off
In Trickle-Down Town

The trickle-down penny
Still hasn’t dropped
The trickle-down rises
Still haven’t stopped
Rishi’s five pence
Is nowhere to be found
On any forecourt
In Trickle-Down Town

Trickle-down prices
Are trickle-down rising
A trickle-down crisis
Is hardly surprising
When trickle-down profits
Are still never found
In the trickle-down pockets
Of Trickle-Down Town

The trickle-down prince
Reads a trickle-down speech
To a trickle-down house
With trickle-down reach
Sat on a trickle-down throne
Next to a trickle-down crown
Now they boo the national anthem
In Trickle-Down Town

Lee Anderson vs. Jack Monroe

Lee was a miner
Not a striking miner, mind ya
‘Cause he was still a minor
In ‘84

Then he was on the CAB
And homeless hospitality
And work for Gloria MP
(He was) Labour before

But now contrary Lee
Is Ashfield’s new Tory MP
Class of 2019
And hard to ignore

‘Cause Lee likes to boo the knee
And speak antisemitically
Likes a right-wing conspiracy
And hates the poor

Now Jack’s gonna sue the arse off him
He played a very expensive game of chicken
We know Jack will win

Lee was a miner
Not a striking miner, mind ya
‘Cause he was still a minor
In ‘84

He prefers the company
Of Martin Daubney’s party
And Laurence Fox’s bigotry
And racist rapport

He said that poor people make shit cooks
And Jack just tries to sell ‘em books
So Jack’s lawyers will have a look
And settle the score

Now Jack’s gonna sue the arse off him
He played a very expensive game of chicken
We know Jack will win

Lee was a miner
Not a striking miner, mind ya
Now he’s just a whiner
And a right-wing troll

Bin Bags


They’re crying about woke
They’re crying she’s a bloke
They’re crying ‘bout appendages
The vestiges of yesterdays

They’re crying about words
That they think are absurd
They’re crying ‘bout the language
Being savaged for the damaged

It’s bin bags
Bin bags
It’s just bin bags
Bin bags

They’re crying about Bragg
They think that it’s a drag
That he’s standing with the persecuted
Most disputed and excluded

They’re crying about caring
And storytelling scaring
They’re crying ‘bout the activists
Who won’t assist the anti-ists

It’s bin bags
Bin bags
It’s just bin bags
Bin bags

They said you couldn’t call ‘em
By the colour that they are
They said it was the looney lefties
Who had gone too far
They say that what goes around
Comes around again
And now it’s gender critical, it’s
You can’t call it’s
Minds are small, it’s

Bin bags
Bin bags
It’s just bin bags
Bin bags

They don’t like their lives disrupted
Opinions deconstructed
To understand it’s complicated
Other people should be feted
Not just accommodated
And your words can show that you care
Your words can show that you care

It’s bin bags
Bin bags
It’s just bin bags
Bin bags

Bin bags

Stealth Omicron

He’s splutting and coughering
Hot and bloody bothering
Feeling pretty rotten
And he’s tested twice

He’s sneezin’ and wheezin’
And snottin’ like a wee thing
It isn’t very pleasin’
It’s not very nice

But give him a day or two
It takes a while to come to view
He’ll get his second line up too
And now he’s had it twice

It’s Omicron
They call it stealth Omicron
With no rules to rely upon
It’s BA.2 for you and you and you

It’s Omicron
He’s got Stealth Omicron
With no test and no mask on
It’s BA.2 for you and you and you

He thought it was a heavy cold
He thought he’d got it all controlled
Now that LFTs are sold
Who’s gonna buy?

Now he’s coughing and spluttering
Shivering and shuddering
The country is recovering’s
Another lie

He’s one in a million
No, one of a million
Infected civilians
The number’s pretty high

It’s Omicron
They call it stealth Omicron
With no rules to rely upon
It’s BA.2 for you and you and you

It’s Omicron
He’s got Stealth Omicron
With no test and no mask on
It’s BA.2 for you and you and you

He’s one in a million
No, one of a million
Infected civilians
The number’s pretty high

Priti Little Britain (And You Can’t Come In)

I’m visiting Poland to speak about you, but you can’t come in
I’ll light up a building in yellow and blue, but you can’t come in

We’ll tell the world that we’re leading the world, but you can’t come in
And your criticism will go unheard, ‘cause you can’t come in

You can’t come in
No, you can’t come in
This is Priti little Britain
Such a pretty Little Britain
That immigration is forbidden
And you can’t come in

I’ll promise you my solidarity, but you can’t come in
You’d be better off in Poland or Germany, ‘cause you can’t come in

We’re being just as generous as we can, but you can’t come in
We’re expressing our love for our fellow man, but you can’t come in

You can’t come in
No, you can’t come in
This is Priti little Britain
Such a pretty Little Britain
That immigration is forbidden
And you can’t come in

I’ll set up a centre, and then lock the door, ‘cause you can’t come in
There’s a process to follow, just to make sure that you can’t come in

Don’t forget you’re a security threat, so you can’t come in
And we still haven’t housed the Afghans yet, so you can’t come in

You can’t come in
No, you can’t come in
This is Priti little Britain
Such a pretty Little Britain
That immigration is forbidden
And you can’t come in

(Yes, there is a tune. Look out for the next edition of the Protest Family Podcast to hear it.)

Vlad The Invader

There’s oligarchs in London, tanks in Ukraine
Kremlin-funded Tories with wealthy campaigns
Gangster capital was given free reign
And now we’ve got Vlad The Invader
Vlad The Invader

Nigel and Donald have both led the cheer
Strongman nationalist, macho veneer
Looking for excuses now the tanks are here
For their mate Vlad The Invader
Vlad The Invader

So, move the final from the Gazprom
Cancel the Grand Prix and Eurovision song
Cock a deaf ‘un to Saudi dropping British bombs
A bit like Vlad The Invader
Vlad The Invader

Hit him with a sanction, let’s see who it hurts
Who’s got the gas? Who turns the heat off first?
A punch in the face but who comes off worst?
The worker or Vlad The Invader
Vlad The Invader

We’re doing all we can is the Westminster cry
Having washed all the money and turned a blind eye
Now how many refugees will they deny?
Created by Vlad The Invader
Vlad The Invader

The bravery of protests in Pushkin Square
Compare them to a Kensington billionaire
Who has more in common with the bellicose bear?
Vlad The Invader
Vlad The Invader

Donald’s Coke

His campaign’s funded in roubles
He plays tennis with some Russian folk
He’s almost completely without scruples
And he’s snorting Donald’s coke

Now he’s lining up a barrage of sanctions
Its Churchill he’s trying to invoke
He’s getting a piece of the action
And snorting Donald’s coke

Wallpaper – move on
Parties – move on
Jimmy Saville – move on
He’s snorting Donald’s coke

He’s a fan of foie gras and fur
He don’t care how the poor buggers croak
An opportunity Brexit conferred
While he was snorting Donald’s coke

Pounds, shillings, and pence
Don’t matter if you’re broke
Proposed by the Minister of Past Tense
Who’s been snorting Donald’s coke

Wallpaper – move on
Parties – move on
Jimmy Saville – move on
He’s snorting Donald’s coke

Keep keen eyes in the crow’s nest
He knows the system’s broke
Don’t worry about who can afford a test
While you’re snorting Donald’s coke

Here’s another strategic lie
Just call the dissenters woke
Dead cat meet table; ball, eye: bye, bye
He’s snorting Donald’s coke

Wallpaper – move on
Parties – move on
Jimmy Saville – move on
He’s snorting Donald’s coke

Sheriff Rayner

Shoot first
Ask questions later
Ange is reaching for her gun
Don’t get on the wrong side
Of Sheriff Rayner
Or you just might get done

Here’s how to impress the Chief, Sir Kier
Here’s how to win back the red wall
Round up your posse of miscreants
Get ‘em up against the wall

Shoot first, ask questions later
Shoot first, ask questions later
Shoot first, ask questions later
Don’t get on the wrong side
Of Sheriff Rayner

Don’t get on the wrong side
Don’t get on the wrong side
Don’t get on the wrong side
Of Sheriff Rayner

Learning to Live With the Lies

There are ten different types of liar, he said
And that was a lie as well
He finds it as easy to tell an untruth
As he does the truth to tell
Of all the liars in all of the world
He’s the most comfortable liar you’ve heard
So, now we’re learning to live,
Learning to live with the lies

Learning to live with the lies that we’re told
Learning to live with the lies that we’re sold
Learning to live
Learning to live with the lies

45 minutes from mass destruction
Millions of pounds on the side of a bus
A programme of new hospital construction
And then they say that it’s all about us
Whenever there’s something they want us to do
They just find it easier to hide the truth
And now we’re learning to live
Learning to live with the lies

Learning to live with the lies that we’re told
Learning to live with the lies that we’re sold
Learning to live
Learning to live with the lies

There are big lies, little lies
Dirty lies, white lies
Lies to seem clean
And lies to the Queen
Smooth lies, compulsive lies
Bold lies, deceptive lies
Fake news, half truths
And lying as routine
Disinformation
Exaggeration
Lying as omission
They’re a lying machine
Weasel words, perjury
Minimising, puffery
Polite lies, paltering
Their lying is obscene

Their lies are obscene

(So now we’re)
Learning to live with the lies that we’re told
Learning to live with the lies that we’re sold
Learning to live
Learning to live with the lies
Learning to live with the lies that we’re told
Learning to live with the lies that we’re sold
Learning to live
Learning to live with the lies

Platinum Liz and Queen Camilla

Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla
On the date her father died
Showed her round the big council house
Saying this is the palace in which you’ll reside

With his and hers bathrooms for you and King Charlie
And his and hers butlers for your toothpaste squeezing
His and hers medals, after all it’s your army
And his and hers royal protection policing

Saying, “One day, all of this will be yours”

Ignore the liar down the road
Who partied when I laid my Phil to rest
He’s just a self-centred, selfish toad
Who thinks he’s better than the rest

I hear he said it’ll take a Panzer division
I dunno what possessed him
He’s forgotten our family’s historical position
And a German tank ain’t out of the question

He’s turned the governance of my green and pleasant land
Into a reality TV show
But the monarchy always remains
When it’s time for the likes of him to go

Saying, “One day, all of this will be yours”

Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla
On another day that the people were starving
On a day they debated the cost of living
And her Tory party were openly laughing

Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla
Top of her list of jubilee honours
While the people chose between food and warmth
And the foodbanks now outnumbered McDonalds

Now the kids are singing, “Off with their heads”

Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla
You know she’s got the means to end poverty
But sharing’s never been in the job description
When wealth and power is hereditary

Now the kids are singing, “Off with their heads”