Bad Flags

Ryan’s up a lamppost waiting for his mate
He wants a cherry picker but the cherry picker’s late
He’s got a mouthful of zip ties
And a heartful of hate
He’s raising the colours of a bad flag

Tommy knows the flag is just another tool
To fleece the crowd that still thinks that cocaine is cool
He’s calling it unite
When all they want to do is fight
He’s marching to the colours of a bad flag

Bad flags, tatty rags
Like motorway trees flying Tesco bags
They’re flown with bad intentions
They’re bad flags

Paul carries a cross like some kind of boss
When the RM see his logo, they’re gonna be pissed off
He’s yesterday’s thug
But he won’t give up
He’s got nothing except a bad flag

Luke is in a suit, moustache and tie to boot
Like an Oxfam Mosley throwing up a salute
His performative charge
Looks quite the hoot
He’s an agitator with a bad flag

Bad flags, tatty rags
Like motorway trees flying Tesco bags
They’re flown with bad intentions
They’re bad flags

Pure cold rage said Nigel
And pure cold rage he got
Nigel’s leading the riot
And pretending that he’s not
Pure cold rage said Nigel
Everyone knew what he meant
Nigel’s leading the riot
Again

Bad flags, tatty rags
Like motorway trees flying Tesco bags
They’re flown with bad intentions
They’re bad flags

Operation Raise The Colours

Made in China from the finest polyester
Bought in bulk from that Bezos bloke
No official status in the state apparatus
It says I’m English mate, it says I’m not woke

It says I’m proud that there used to be a library here
Named after some statue or other
I’m proud of the flats that I will never afford
And the bedroom that I share with my brother

I’m proud of Jimmy Dyson, the entrepreneur
Shame his hoovers ain’t made round here no more
And I’m proud of Jerry Clarkson and his comedy farm
His avoiding tax ain’t doing me no harm

Proud of the mums of Epping draped in flags
With sons in the party and mates on tags
The GB News-er who runs his own boozer
And the RefUK councillor who’s a sex abuser

It says I’m proud of our culture, proud to be default
Proud of Nigel’s millions and the fine wine in his vault
Proud of the riots after the Southport attack
I’m proud we fought the fascists and I’m proud they’re coming back

Made in China from the finest polyester
Twelve quid on eBay for two
Not intended to intimidate, oh wait
Coming to a lamppost near you