Trickle-Down Town

Trickle-down misery
Trickle-down poverty
Trickle down lies
And trickle-down dishonesty
Trickle-down rules
From a trickle-down clown
Only trickle down
In Trickle-Down Town

Trickle-down parties
With trickle-down cakes
Trickle-down suitcased
Trickle-down fakes
Trickle-down fines
Come trickling down
From fifties to thousands
In Trickle-Down Town

The trickle-down cough’s
Still trickle-down persistent
The trickle-down prof.’s
Still pretty non-existent
Now poxy monkey pox
Is trickling down
‘Cause the A/C’s always off
In Trickle-Down Town

The trickle-down penny
Still hasn’t dropped
The trickle-down rises
Still haven’t stopped
Rishi’s five pence
Is nowhere to be found
On any forecourt
In Trickle-Down Town

Trickle-down prices
Are trickle-down rising
A trickle-down crisis
Is hardly surprising
When trickle-down profits
Are still never found
In the trickle-down pockets
Of Trickle-Down Town

The trickle-down prince
Reads a trickle-down speech
To a trickle-down house
With trickle-down reach
Sat on a trickle-down throne
Next to a trickle-down crown
Now they boo the national anthem
In Trickle-Down Town

Lee Anderson vs. Jack Monroe

Lee was a miner
Not a striking miner, mind ya
‘Cause he was still a minor
In ‘84

Then he was on the CAB
And homeless hospitality
And work for Gloria MP
(He was) Labour before

But now contrary Lee
Is Ashfield’s new Tory MP
Class of 2019
And hard to ignore

‘Cause Lee likes to boo the knee
And speak antisemitically
Likes a right-wing conspiracy
And hates the poor

Now Jack’s gonna sue the arse off him
He played a very expensive game of chicken
We know Jack will win

Lee was a miner
Not a striking miner, mind ya
‘Cause he was still a minor
In ‘84

He prefers the company
Of Martin Daubney’s party
And Laurence Fox’s bigotry
And racist rapport

He said that poor people make shit cooks
And Jack just tries to sell ‘em books
So Jack’s lawyers will have a look
And settle the score

Now Jack’s gonna sue the arse off him
He played a very expensive game of chicken
We know Jack will win

Lee was a miner
Not a striking miner, mind ya
Now he’s just a whiner
And a right-wing troll

Ferrari Racist Radio

Let’s face this
Ferrari’s racist
Reductio-ing ad absurdum
To define himself a black man
Micro-aggressively denying
Micro-aggression is a thing
And people who look just like him
Get to hear as much he’d argue
You, you’re not from round here are you
National broadcast bigotry
Delivered daily on LBC

Local Elections May 2022

Wonderful in Worthing, Wandsworth and Westminster
Horrible in Harrow, Hastings and Hull

No Overall Control hold Hartlepool
Who says that the local elections have been dull

With stay-at-home Tories and Long Corbyn stories
While in Skipton drawing straws is the way that it’s done

And what they’re talking about is

Curry with Sir Keith in a constituency office
Downing Street piss-ups with Prime Minister Boris
Or the latest comic skit from Secretary Dorries

Now they’re changing the bin days in Mayfair
And easing up the planning rules in the town square

Because the hands on the levers might have changed
But the levers themselves have stayed the same

Neil Parish MP

A strip of black tape
Obscures her number plate
But her radiator grilles are on display
Admiring the allures
Of something that ain’t yours
You wonder what his wife would have to say
Porno of this parish
The MP for smut
Thinks I’d plough a field with her any day
There’s harvesters and balers and compactors
He’s sitting in the Commons browsing Readers’ Tractors

Privatise the Arse Off It

Trouble at the Passport Office
Privatise the arse off it
Run it for my pals’ profit
A one-trick Tory cries

Like Mogg he wants you at your desk
Who’s haunting corridors obsessed
His sarcastic notes grotesque
Bullying in disguise

‘Cause they privatised the arse off the trains
The cars and the buses and the planes
The gas the electric the phones and the drains
The post and the college of flames

And if you’re still waiting for a visa from Ukraine
They privatised the arse off that too
Just sayin’

Londongrad Laundry

Adolf Hitler, Mickey Mouse
Registered at Companies House
Own empty homes in royal parks
For kleptocrats and oligarchs

She sells sea shell companies
That buy Mayfair properties
At market rate and then a half
To give their Russian dough a bath

‘Cause Thatcher’s big bang economics
Made the filthy rich a promise
Your anonymity’s guaranteed
In our offshore industry

We’ll help you manage reputation
Ignore the odd defenestration
So if your money’s really bad
Bring soap and towels to Londongrad

Mogg vs. Marr, LBC 19 April 2022

Condescending Mogg at his condescending best
Says leg before wicket is the best test
Of whether Spaffer’s lying
He’s on the offensive no forward defensive stroke this
He’s taking the piss
And not even trying

The Minister for Lack of Opportunity for Our Community
Is here to spar with Marr
It’s infuriating so far
His relying on denying
Crying speculation
And irrespective of the effect of his words
Encourages perspective
About Marr’s father dying
And Partygate

For Mogg it’s just a game
These people have no shame

And Mogg Tweeted Alleluia

Canterbury’s putting up resistance
To the ungodly policy of offshore asylum
Love thy neighbour but only from a distance
Sounding Johnson’s Operation Red Meat siren

But Castle’s voice from the pews cried we tithed for our views
And we don’t like change around here
You shouldn’t get to choose your country of refuge
And Rwanda’s very nice this time of year we hear

So Secretary Patel issued ministerial direction
To whistle up the dog a fascist bone
Of immigration by racial selection
A one-way ticket or a middle-class home

More folk will die of Covid in 2022
Than seek asylum in this green and pleasant land
Swiftly and humanely removed is the clue
To the Easter politics of the damned

Canterbury’s putting up resistance
But Johnson and Patel just say screw ya
We’re loving our neighbours but only at a distance
And Mogg tweeted Alleluia

Spaffer In Ukraine Again

Safer in a war zone
Than strolling round his own home
Spaffer’s on walkabout in Ukraine

He really has a talent
For reputation management
A cock-up covering caper once again

But if he has a second
He should take a trip to Yemen
And watch British bombs being dropped by British planes

Or if he’s of a mind
Walkabout in Palestine
And contemplate their sovereign state claim

‘Cause if he’s safer in a war zone
Than strolling round his own home
There’s lots of war for him to try and game