Gig News

A couple of Christmas shows for your diaries:

On Friday 16 December, we’ll be playing at a fundraiser for local food banks and supporting local homeless people at The Hoe Street Club in Walthamstow. It’ll be a rare outing for Steve, Lol and Simon playing as an acoustic (but plugged in) three-piece.

And on Saturday 17 December, Steve makes the trip to Nottingham, acoustic guitar in hand, for a Punk 4 The Homeless all-dayer at the Sumac Centre and (shh) a celebration of Eagle’s birthday.

Will there be poetry? Will there be Christmas songs? Can Steve remember the words to Mary Had a Tory Baby? There’s only one way to find out….

If You Do It to an Ant

I’m a vegan, he said, I hope you’re a vegan too
I don’t like to think of the animals as food
‘Cause if you do it to an ant, you can do it to a fly
Oh my! A fly! He said, just try
And if you do it to a fly, you can do it to a spider
I know this is getting a bit wriggled inside her
But if you do it to a spider, you can do it to a fish
‘Cause fish don’t have any feelings, I wish
And if you do it to a fish, you can do it to a chicken
The Colonel’s tortured millions, they’re finger lickin’
And if you do it to a chicken, you can do it to a cat
Fancy that? A finger lickin’ cat?
And if you do it to a pig, you can do it to a dog
Just another similarly sensitive hog
And if you do it to a cow, you can do it to a horse
A horse? Well, they eat them in France of course
And if you do it to a horse, you can do it to a man
Oh yes, you can, you understand?
That if you do it to a man, you can do it to the planet
You already did

Some Things Bought by Qatar

Stadia built on blood and bones
A swathe of England’s poshest homes
Hotels too, The Savoy, The Ritz
The Stock Exchange, at least some bits
One Hyde Park, Canary Wharf
The Olympic Village, of course
Heathrow, Harrods and The Shard
Much of Mayfair’s posh backyard
The old American Embassy
The HQ of HSBC
More of London than you-know-who
David Beckham and FIFA too


You only get a silence if you die gloriously
You only get a silence if you die victoriously
No silence if you died on the losing side
No silence if you’re just a PTSD suicide
No silence for civilians killed in Afghanistan
No silence for the victims of Little Boy or Fat Man
It’s written in the theme tune, who should be surprised
Happy and glorious, send him victorious
In service of the King, it’s the only way to die

The Lies They Tell You About Refugees

It’s worse now than it’s ever been“.

In fact the numbers are at around half of the 2002 peak.

They’re mostly economic migrants with no right to be here“.

In fact the percentage of successful claims for asylum is rising.

It’s a crisis not of our making“.

It’s the Home Office failing to process applications that appears to be the problem.

They all want to come here and not to any other safe country“.

Not even close.

Kent has been hit particularly hard“.

Doesn’t look like it.

“We’re a soft touch”.

£41 a week…