The patron saint of roundabouts
Zip-tied flags and far-right louts
The patron saint of Stop The Boats
And disaffected Brexit votes
The patron saint of LBC
GB News and Talk TV
The saint of plain hostility
To anyone who ain’t like me
The patron saint of wooden crosses
Crumbling and rotten
The patron saint of you can’t have it
Races to the bottom
The patron saint of two world wars
And one lousy world cup
Where are you now our dear St George
How badly did you fuck it up?
The years in prison were not kind to Goliath
He grew smaller and weaker while David grew strong
His castles kicked over; his crop destroyed before him
It weighed heavy on Goliath how it had gone so wrong
So, he stood and he shouted at the ranks of Israel
From the river to the sea, words laden with dread
David called for his sling and selected five stones
He’d settle for no less now than Goliath’s head
He turned out the lights in Goliath’s prison
Cut off supplies, cut off the outside
Gave Goliath notice of the date and time
We held our breath; David crossed the line
His stones flew hard, his stones flew long
Let only God tell me that I’m doing wrong
Women and children in their thousands gone
While David bayed Goliath you do not belong
We cried stop, David said I will not
Not while Goliath still breathes
Not while my friends in the west send stones
Not while my friends in the west send stones
Not while my friends in the west send drones
And bombs for me to drop
David said, I will not stop
The housewife’s flutter, pick one by its name
The workplace sweepstake’s just the same
Hey Charlie, don’t fancy your horse
The Queen always loved it, of course
It’s the cheery item at the end of The News
Counting up how many horses lose
We can join our reporter now in Aintree Way
It’s Grand National Cheering On The Killing Of Horses Day
Jesus, said Jesus, awake on the cross
What d’you have to go and summon Satan for?
I’m supposed to sleep in for a couple of days
But now there’s all this chaos and war
And he’s everywhere, TV and radio
Right across the social media shitshow
Wherever your midnight doom scrolling might go
With a bunch of leering demons in tow
Wait, you expected hellfire and brimstone
With a laptop and a mobile phone?
C’mon, horns and hooves are a bit mediaeval
These days he manifests as real estate evil
With a raging, rambling, boiling sea of lies
And an infernal wardrobe full of red ties
Every time he smiles a Gazan baby dies
And he has nothing but greed in his eyes
Jesus, said Jesus, awake on the cross
You let out death, famine, conquest and war
You say you’re Christians, but you don’t care for the poor
What d’you have to go and summon Satan for?
John the Revelator saw the Son of Man
With seven stars and seven lampstands
Eyes of fire and hair of wool
Voice like a roaring waterfall
He said I was dead but now I’m alive
Do you want to walk with me in the light
If you have ears, then hear my cry
The Devil wears a long red tie
John the Revelator saw God on his throne
With a face that shone like a precious stone
Twenty-four elders in crowns of gold
Seven lit torches so the story’s told
Around the throne on each of its sides
A lion, a bull, an eagle in flight
Each creature covered in eyes
To better see the Devil in a long red tie
John the Revelator saw the lamb and the scroll
Saw the lamb die and saw him made whole
Saw the lamb break the seven seals
Saw the horses heard the trumpet peals
Hail and fire, a sea of blood
Poisoned water and the sun was struck
The seventh trumpet signalled time
For the Devil in the long red tie
John the Revelator saw the clouds blacken
Saw the sky filled with a great red dragon
Seven heads with a crown on each one
Chased the woman with the dress made from the sun
John the Revelator saw it happen
John the Revelator saw the Great Red Dragon
Ten horns and fourteen eyes
The dragon wore a long red tie
John saw a beast rise from the sea
And the beast’s name was Blasphemy
Ten horns on seven heads held high
Blasphemy wore a long red tie
John saw a beast rise from the earth
Made everybody praise the first beast’s worth
Made fire rain from the sky
The beast wore a long red tie
The beast of the earth risen from slumber
Made the people wear its mark or its number
Forbidding them to sell or buy
Unless they wore a long red tie
John saw a lake of sulphur and fire
In which to cast the Devil and Liar
Eternal torment dispensed from on high
For the Devil in the long red tie
For the Devil in the long red tie
For the Devil in the long red tie
The farmer grows the wheat
The farmer sows the seeds
The farmer tills and harvests
To meet the baker’s needs
The miller grinds the wheat
The straw and chaff she’ll scour
Separating germ and bran
To make the baker’s flour
Meanwhile you bake
The cake that they take
And crumbs are all they say
Your cake is worth
The bigger the cake
The more crumbs it makes
And that’s the way they say
That baking works
The farmer grows the beet
Made ready to eat
The baker needs the sugar
To keep the baking sweet
Of butter, milk, and eggs
It’s often left unsaid
That cruelty concedes
To what the baker needs
Meanwhile you bake
The cake that they take
And crumbs are all they say
Your cake is worth
The bigger the cake
The more crumbs it makes
And that’s the way they say
That baking works
The cake keeps getting bigger
While the same old crumbs fall down
The baker’s getting thinner
It’s the same all round the town
The cake keeps getting bigger
But the table’s getting higher
The baker’s getting thinner
And the bakery’s on fire
Meanwhile you bake
The cake that they take
And crumbs are all they say
Your cake is worth
The bigger the cake
The more crumbs it makes
And that’s the way they say
That baking works
Nigel the talking frog’s coin-operated
A cameo Nazi for just a few quid
Birthday greetings for the racist on a budget
Send your pal a Kick-‘Em-Out Farage vid
Nigel the talking frog’s coin-operated
A cameo Nazi bought and paid for
What he’d say for free, he says for a fee
The grift that the internet was made for
Hold your fists eye high
Wave bye-bye
Bombers in the sky
Do the pumpkin guy
Sway your hips
In the pumpkin stance
Don’t give a shit
Do the pumpkin dance
Now who’s looking at the Epstein files?
Now who’s talking ‘bout Palestine?
Now who’s buying Vladimir’s oil?
Now whose regime needs to change?
I never liked carrying Churchill in my pocket
But now no one ever uses cash to pay
Still, I’d rather have a hedgehog on a fiver
Than a warmongering toff any day
Steve White & The Protest Family 