Ferrari’s Furlough Fraudsters

He’s dog-whistling up the news
The favourite sport of the populist columnist
From The Currant Bun to The News of the Screws
The chance to scapegoat’s rarely missed
So, ring the show, grass up your neighbours
Hold fast the fruits of your own labours
Pull up the ladder, lock up your daughters
Here come Ferrari’s Furlough Fraudsters

“Leading” Britain’s Conversation

Nigel Farage said just now on LBC
He’d send his kids to school, happily.
But it’s an easy boast to make
When one of them is 28,
One’s 20 and one’s 31.
What’s the betting that the other one
Is not affected by this rule
Because she attends a private school?

 

Rachel on the Radio

You’re just afraid says Rachel Johnson
You’re still getting paid says Rachel Johnson
The risks are low says Rachel Johnson
You’re enjoying furlough says Rachel Johnson

Spaffer’s sister on the radio
She’s proper havin’ a go
Waging class war from afar
It’s a bloody high bar
But I’d rather listen to Farage

My daddy’s brave says Rachel Johnson
You should earn your wage says Rachel Johnson
Yes, I know your mate’s dead says Rachel Johnson
But you must look ahead says Rachel Johnson

Spaffer’s sister on the radio
She’s proper havin’ a go
Waging class war from afar
It’s a bloody high bar
But I’d rather listen to Farage

Would you wear a mask asks Rachel Johnson
Just thought I’d ask says Rachel Johnson

Don’t you know who my brother is
Don’t you know who my brother is
Don’t you know who my brother is

Spaffer’s sister on the radio
She’s proper havin’ a go
Waging class war from afar
It’s a bloody high bar
But I’d rather listen to Farage

And that’s bloody saying something

Who Cares What Nigel Farage Says?

Farage wants to know who gets the button
Farage wants to know who gets to drop the bomb
In the middle of the crisis with Johnson gone

Farage is worried ‘bout the virus
Farage thinks that it will stop us getting Brexit done
His one trick pony race is not yet run

Farage doesn’t rate the current cabinet
Farage thinks he’s better than the whole current shit show
From the comfort of a radio studio

Farage says all politics is vile
Farage is telling callers not to get involved
Like his own political career has been absolved

You might tune in to listen to Eddie Mair
But the moral of this story should not come as a shock
Turn your radio back over at six o’clock