(With apologies to Hillaire Belloc)
Tommy told such dreadful lies
It made one gasp and stretch one’s eyes
His followers, racist and uncouth
With scant regard for actual truth
Attempted to believe young Tommy
Wanted to keep sending money
And would have done so, had not he
Lied about her Majesty’s
Pleasure when he went to court
Showing off the pack he brought
‘My prison bag’, Tommy proclaimed
But later, as it was explained
At worst, he’d only get a fine
And had invented prison time
The grift exposed, to say the least
But Tommy had not said his piece
‘My lawyer, and I need the best’
‘Needs paying, and I can’t’, he stressed
His fans from near and far dug deep
Knowing counsel won’t come cheap
But were inevitably dismayed
To find that Tom had Legal Aid
One day soon, his time will come
And Tommy this time square undone
When more funds he seeks to acquire
But fascist chums cry ‘Little Liar!’
And he’s sentenced to a lengthy stint
Locked up once more, and also skint
Steve White & The Protest Family 