Tag: richard branson

Pricks in Space

Pricks in space
Rich pricks in space
Rich pricks who think they’re philanthropists
In space
In space

Jeff’s got a rocket
Looks like a cock
It’s a rich spaceman
Delivery system
If space is so much better
He should just go and live there

Pricks in space
Rich pricks in space
Rich pricks who think they’re philanthropists
In space
In space

Richard was skint
But now he’s got a mint
To spunk on a rocket
That looks like a cock
It’s a rich spaceman
Delivery system
Only a space mission
By the NASA definition

Cos there’s not enough to keep him here
He loves a party near the edge of atmosphere

Pricks in space
Rich pricks in space
Rich pricks who think they’re philanthropists
In space
In space

Elon wants a rocket
That looks like a cock
It’s a burning ambition
To fly a space mission
So he’s looking for a lift with Dick
Cos he thinks that Jeff’s a prick

Pricks in space
Rich pricks in space
Rich pricks who think they’re philanthropists
In space
In space
In space
In space

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

News From Necker Island

The news from Necker Island isn’t good
Mr Branson’s still not in a very good mood
In this time of global crisis
And plummeting global airline prices
He wants to spend our money, not his own

Mr Branson really doesn’t want to pay
But he’s the seventh richest person in the UK

The news from Necker Island isn’t good
Mr Branson thinks he’s been misunderstood
He wants to place his staff on furlough
But pay their wages with our dough
He wants to spend our money, not his own

Mr Branson really doesn’t want to pay
But he’s the seventh richest person in the UK

The news from Necker Island isn’t good
It’s a lovely place to visit if you could
It’s a place to wash your conscience clean
It’s a place with a zero-tax regime
It’s the place that Branson’s money calls his home

Mr Branson really doesn’t want to pay
But he’s the seventh richest person in the UK

The news from Necker Island isn’t good
It’s a lovely place to visit if you could
It’s a place to wash your conscience clean
It’s a place with a zero-tax regime
It’s the place that Branson’s tax-free money
It’s the place that Branson’s tax-free money
It’s the place that Branson’s tax-free money
Calls home

by Categories: COVID-19, Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , 1 Comment

59 Billionaires

There’s 59 billionaires in this country
Are they standing up doing their bit?
While Hancock had a go at premiership stars
He let the real rich off with it

59 billionaires
59 billionaires
59 billionaires
59 billionaires

There’s 59 billionaires in this country
Between ‘em got a bob or two
So, in this hour of national crisis
What do you think that they’re up to?

Branson, he’s worth his own 5 billion
Held his hand out for seven more
Phil and Tina Green, retail king and queen
Shut the pension scheme at the store

Richard Desmond, from the gutter press
Is running scare stories in the Daily Express
And Dyson who took his firm over the border
Got himself a nice little government order

59 billionaires
59 billionaires
59 billionaires
59 billionaires

There’s 59 billionaires in this country
59 trough meets snout
59 billion doing quite nicely
And they’re just the ones that I know about

59 billionaires
59 billionaires
59 billionaires
59 billionaires

by Categories: COVID-19, Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

The List

C’mon Brits
It’s the spirit of the Blitz.
While the heroes do their bit
Here’s a list of the gits:

No sick pay at Wilko*, lay-offs at Sodhexo,
Tim Martin says that his staff can get a job at Tesco.
Libraries staying open right across academia
And Picturehouse sacked people who found out on social media.

So, c’mon Brits
It’s the spirit of the Blitz.
While the heroes do their bit
Here’s a list of the gits:

Hermes drivers isolating get twenty quid a day.
Giraffe staff use their annual leave or else they get no pay.
Aramark forced everyone into two week’s holiday
And Sports Direct’s still the worst employer in the UK.

So, c’mon Brits
It’s the spirit of the Blitz.
While the heroes do their bit
Here’s a list of the gits

JHoots pharmacy’s charging twenty quid for Calpol
And making staff take holiday was also Richard Branson’s call.
EasyJet stopped feeding theirs, but shareholders got paid
While holding out their hands for a bit of that state aid

So, c’mon Brits
It’s the spirit of the Blitz.
While the heroes do their bit
Here’s a list of the gits.

(This list, dear reader, I suspect is far from comprehensive.
The behaviour of some bosses is really quite offensive.
So, let me put it to you, clearly and concisely:
When this is over, spend your money ethically and wisely.)

(And stay out of ‘Spoons)

 

* They bowed to public pressure, eventually, and changed their minds.

by Categories: COVID-19, poetry, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment