News From Necker Island

The news from Necker Island isn’t good
Mr Branson’s still not in a very good mood
In this time of global crisis
And plummeting global airline prices
He wants to spend our money, not his own

Mr Branson really doesn’t want to pay
But he’s the seventh richest person in the UK

The news from Necker Island isn’t good
Mr Branson thinks he’s been misunderstood
He wants to place his staff on furlough
But pay their wages with our dough
He wants to spend our money, not his own

Mr Branson really doesn’t want to pay
But he’s the seventh richest person in the UK

The news from Necker Island isn’t good
It’s a lovely place to visit if you could
It’s a place to wash your conscience clean
It’s a place with a zero-tax regime
It’s the place that Branson’s money calls his home

Mr Branson really doesn’t want to pay
But he’s the seventh richest person in the UK

The news from Necker Island isn’t good
It’s a lovely place to visit if you could
It’s a place to wash your conscience clean
It’s a place with a zero-tax regime
It’s the place that Branson’s tax-free money
It’s the place that Branson’s tax-free money
It’s the place that Branson’s tax-free money
Calls home

The List

C’mon Brits
It’s the spirit of the Blitz.
While the heroes do their bit
Here’s a list of the gits:

No sick pay at Wilko*, lay-offs at Sodhexo,
Tim Martin says that his staff can get a job at Tesco.
Libraries staying open right across academia
And Picturehouse sacked people who found out on social media.

So, c’mon Brits
It’s the spirit of the Blitz.
While the heroes do their bit
Here’s a list of the gits:

Hermes drivers isolating get twenty quid a day.
Giraffe staff use their annual leave or else they get no pay.
Aramark forced everyone into two week’s holiday
And Sports Direct’s still the worst employer in the UK.

So, c’mon Brits
It’s the spirit of the Blitz.
While the heroes do their bit
Here’s a list of the gits

JHoots pharmacy’s charging twenty quid for Calpol
And making staff take holiday was also Richard Branson’s call.
EasyJet stopped feeding theirs, but shareholders got paid
While holding out their hands for a bit of that state aid

So, c’mon Brits
It’s the spirit of the Blitz.
While the heroes do their bit
Here’s a list of the gits.

(This list, dear reader, I suspect is far from comprehensive.
The behaviour of some bosses is really quite offensive.
So, let me put it to you, clearly and concisely:
When this is over, spend your money ethically and wisely.)

(And stay out of ‘Spoons)

 

* They bowed to public pressure, eventually, and changed their minds.