Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas Bozo chaired a little quiz, Allegra had a little cry
Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas With a substantial buffet and glasses of wine
Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas Tory donors, Christmas jumpers, party hats if so inclined
Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas Snug up for the pictures, no need to comply
Cos the rules, don’t apply to them You can do what you like behind the doors of number 10 No, the rules don’t apply to them Whatever you do when it comes around, please don’t vote them in again
He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one Carrie’s got a baby and Wilfie’s only one And all the press are saying is, “not another one” He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one
Dead cats, reverse ferrets Dead cats, reverse ferrets
He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one Turns out there were loads while we weren’t allowed a one And he’s running out of mates even at the Currant Bun He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one
Dead cats, reverse ferrets Dead cats, reverse ferrets
He said it didn’t happen But it happened that it happened And it happens that we happen To know that it happened
He said it didn’t happen But it happened that it happened And it happens that we happen To know that it happened
He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one Carrie’s got a baby and Wilfie’s only one And all the press are saying is, “not another one” He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one
Dead cats, reverse ferrets Dead cats, reverse ferrets Dead cats, reverse ferrets Dead cats, reverse ferrets
Did you ever while away a childhood hour Imagining your very own superpower? But never able to scratch that itch ‘Cos superpower’s reserved for the super-rich
Batman’s a toff, the stuff he’s got Bet he don’t pay tax on half that lot But if the city upped the ante And binned the vigilante They could fund the GCPD Properly (Commissioner Gordon would be proud)
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
Ironman’s a toff, the stuff he’s got Bet he don’t pay tax on half that lot ‘Cos Stark Industries’ A monopoly With sights on the whole defence Industry (He’s got a military industrial complex)
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
Andrew’s a toff, the stuff he’s got Livin’ off tax paid by you lot Touches who he wants With impunity ‘Cos his superpower’s unaccountability (On account of his mum being Queen)
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
Our superpower’s sharing, our superpower’s caring Our superpower’s looking out for one another Our superpower’s sharing, our superpower’s caring Our superpower’s looking out for one another
Jacob’s a toff, the stuff he’s got Bet he don’t pay tax on half that lot His hedge fund’s laughin’ While other folk are starvin’ His superpower’s alarming, while his wealth he’s guarding (He just doesn’t see poor people)
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
Hand over the keys to the Batmobile Built by our labour of hand and brain And hand over the iron suit too We don’t want to see your superhero arses round here again
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
It’s 2021, and we’re still paying the price As once again enforcement just becomes advice We’re used to Tories doing things that really ain’t that nice But this one, I must admit, came as a surprise
‘Cos they’re shitting in the rivers and they’re shitting in the sea George Eustice reckons it’s okay, environmentally So, if you’re heading for your local spot to take a pleasant dip Remember, like the Tories it’s just full of shit
Raw sewage at the seaside isn’t very nice So, there’s a handy sign up to give you this advice You should keep your mouth and nose closed and best shut your eyes too ‘Cos your Tory MP voted for you to bathe in poo
They’re shitting in the rivers and they’re shitting in the sea They’re shitting on the likes of you and the likes of me So, if your heading for your local spot to take a pleasant dip Remember, like the Tories it’s just full of shit
In the absence of all reason they put it to the vote To throw shit into the rivers to float amongst the boats Two hundred and fifty Tories put their hands up for the right To fill your local waterway up with shite
They’re shitting in the rivers and they’re shitting in the sea They’re shitting on the likes of you and the likes of me So, if your heading for your local spot to take a pleasant dip Remember, like the Tories it’s just full of shit
She pulled him out of the river Fed him, clothed him, found him a home
Cos pulling folk out the river Is the only way she’s ever known
She pulls him out of the river And tomorrow she’ll pull him out again She pulls him out of the river But she’ll never meet the bastards That keep throwing him in
Keep throwing him in
She pulls them out of the river Without ever asking from where they’ve come
Fishing souls out the river And some days her day’s work is never done
She pulls him out of the river And tomorrow she’ll pull him out again She pulls him out of the river But she’ll never meet the bastards That keep throwing him in
Keep throwing him in
She’s fishing souls out the river Seems that’s the way it’s always been
While the soulless bastards in government Keep throwing them in
She pulls him out of the river And tomorrow she’ll pull him out again She pulls him out of the river But she’ll never meet the bastards That keep throwing him in
Keep throwing him in
She’s fishing souls out the river Seems that’s the way it’s always been While the soulless bastards in government Keep throwing us in Keep throwing us in Keep throwing us in
If you halve child poverty, will they all be half as poor? Or will half be as poor as all they were before? What sort of compromise With government lies About austerity and poverty And children going hungry Says well, we’ll meet you halfway there
The judgement of Solomon is somehow lost on them The biblical rule said going halves ain’t cool What kind of compromise With folk that you despise Says, you know well maybe If we can’t have all the baby Says well, we’ll meet you halfway there
We went looking for the centre, but all we found was the system There ain’t no halfway there
The judgement of Solomon is somehow lost on them The biblical rule said going halves ain’t cool What kind of compromise With folk that you despise Says, you know well maybe If we can’t have all the baby Says well, we’ll meet you halfway there
We went looking for the centre, but all we found was the system There ain’t no halfway there
There ain’t no halfway There ain’t no halfway there
Yesterday, I couldn’t touch things Today, I can touch things Yesterday, I couldn’t sing Today, I’m singing I’m singing I’m singing
What about me? I’m CEV A year in isolation, cough free Does anyone care about my captivity?
Yesterday I couldn’t go out Today I can go out Yesterday, I couldn’t sing Today, I’m singing I’m singing I’m singing
Kids with vaccines Wanna live their dreams Sick of the disease Time to do what they please So, is it goodbye Jason and Joanna?
Yesterday, I couldn’t work things out Today, I still can’t work things out But yesterday, I couldn’t sing Today, I’m singing I’m singing I’m singing
What about me? I’m CEV A year in isolation, cough free Does anyone care about me?
Yesterday, I couldn’t touch things Today, I can touch things Yesterday, I couldn’t sing Today, I’m singing I’m singing I’m singing I’m singing I’m singing
Killing people’s okay But kissing ’em isn’t. Give your girl a job, But make sure you keep her distant Workplace lovin’ Brings a certain frisson But killing people’s okay And kissing ‘em isn’t
Hopeless Hancock had his cake and ate it Gave his girl a job, but now he might regret it If there’s a prize for incompetence, you think he’d probably get it But give ‘em extra marital, they won’t let you forget it
Professor Lockdown will tell ya, “It happened to me”. But Hopeless don’t take advice easily. Although he hands out contracts to friends and family It’s about him and Gina: Stars of CCTV
‘Cos sex sells papers, I’m sure you understand We live in saucy seaside postcard land It’s Carry On Government at it’s most grand And Hands Face Arse might get him banned
As I was passing Charlborough House I met a man who’d stopped to stare I asked the stranger as we stood What kind of folk live there What kind of folk live there
The kind of folk live there, said he Built the wall that now divides Own all the land that you can see And half of Dorsetshire besides Half of Dorsetshire besides
Half of Dorsetshire besides, said I And all the land that I can see Pray tell me sir, what kind of folk Have such economy? Have such economy?
Such economy? Said he Why that’s the home of Richard Drax Whose family wealth was built upon Thirty thousand broken backs Thirty thousand broken backs
Thirty thousand broken backs, said I Pray tell me what you mean Does such a man of wealth and land Have hands that aren’t kept clean? Hands that aren’t kept clean?
Hands that aren’t kept clean? Said he His money came from slavery His hands are dirty as can be Here’s a little history A little history, said he
That history begins with James Whose money came from sugar cane A pioneer of the slave trade And Drax Hall stands today Drax Hall stands today
Drax Hall stands today, said he And Drax plantation too Where brother William took the trade And their slave numbers grew Their slave numbers grew
Their slave numbers grew, said he Until there came the day That slavery was banned, said he But it was John Drax who got paid (a fortune) John Drax who got paid
It was John Drax who got paid, said he And not the former slaves The owners compensated Not the people freed from chains Not the people freed from chains
Not the people freed from chains, said he And Drax lives to this day On the wealth of land worked by slaves That he glibly waves away He glibly waves away
He glibly waves away, said he He denies his history Says it was hundreds of years ago Nothing to do with me, says he Nothing to do with me
Nothing to do with me, said I When his life’s such luxury And owns half of Dorsetshire beside Off the proceeds of slavery The proceeds of slavery
As I was passing Charlborough House I met a man who’d stopped to stare So I asked the stranger what it was That he was doing there What are you doing there
What am I doing here, said he I’ve come to settle the score This day there might be just me But one day there’ll be more One day there’ll be more
One day there’ll be more, said he One day then we’ll see The attitudes of slavers Join their statues in the sea Join their statues in the sea
As I was passing Charlborough House, I met a man who’d stopped to stare And having heard his story I stayed and joined him there I stayed and joined him there
Derek’s singing No Surrender In the comfort of his own front room Cos it’s too politically correct To keep St George in your heart these days, he fumes
Cos Derek won two world wars And Derek won one world cup So, Derek won’t offer any applause To players who won’t stand up
Gareth say be proud of an England Where players take the knee In the interests of pride and the interests of respect And a little equality
Equality scoffs Derek, now he’s playing for a draw That’s not what I tuned into the Euros for Keep St George in my heart and God save the Queen And God help us get out of Group D
Derek’s singing No Surrender In the comfort of his own front room Cos its seating room only in that pub on the front Can’t be doing booking tables in the local ‘Spoon
Gareth says be proud of an England Where the players take the knee With responsibility to the community Out of respect and out of duty
Derek says, well, it’s Marxist (Oh come on, why doesn’t he pass it?) You should keep your politics out of the game All lives matter, know what I’m saying?
Derek’s singing No Surrender In the comfort of his own front room There’s no thought police between the carpets and the curtains His home’s his castle, of that he’s certain
Gareth says be proud of an England Where the players take the knee And in the interests of pride and the interests of respect They’ll stand and sing God Save The Queen
And Derek’s singing No Surrender But St George in his heart ain’t so sure Stand for the anthem, kneel for your brothers Maybe ain’t so bad after all
Steve White & The Protest Family 