There are ten different types of liar, he said And that was a lie as well He finds it as easy to tell an untruth As he does the truth to tell Of all the liars in all of the world He’s the most comfortable liar you’ve heard So, now we’re learning to live, Learning to live with the lies
Learning to live with the lies that we’re told Learning to live with the lies that we’re sold Learning to live Learning to live with the lies
45 minutes from mass destruction Millions of pounds on the side of a bus A programme of new hospital construction And then they say that it’s all about us Whenever there’s something they want us to do They just find it easier to hide the truth And now we’re learning to live Learning to live with the lies
Learning to live with the lies that we’re told Learning to live with the lies that we’re sold Learning to live Learning to live with the lies
There are big lies, little lies Dirty lies, white lies Lies to seem clean And lies to the Queen Smooth lies, compulsive lies Bold lies, deceptive lies Fake news, half truths And lying as routine Disinformation Exaggeration Lying as omission They’re a lying machine Weasel words, perjury Minimising, puffery Polite lies, paltering Their lying is obscene
Their lies are obscene
(So now we’re) Learning to live with the lies that we’re told Learning to live with the lies that we’re sold Learning to live Learning to live with the lies Learning to live with the lies that we’re told Learning to live with the lies that we’re sold Learning to live Learning to live with the lies
Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla On the date her father died Showed her round the big council house Saying this is the palace in which you’ll reside
With his and hers bathrooms for you and King Charlie And his and hers butlers for your toothpaste squeezing His and hers medals, after all it’s your army And his and hers royal protection policing
Saying, “One day, all of this will be yours”
Ignore the liar down the road Who partied when I laid my Phil to rest He’s just a self-centred, selfish toad Who thinks he’s better than the rest
I hear he said it’ll take a Panzer division I dunno what possessed him He’s forgotten our family’s historical position And a German tank ain’t out of the question
He’s turned the governance of my green and pleasant land Into a reality TV show But the monarchy always remains When it’s time for the likes of him to go
Saying, “One day, all of this will be yours”
Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla On another day that the people were starving On a day they debated the cost of living And her Tory party were openly laughing
Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla Top of her list of jubilee honours While the people chose between food and warmth And the foodbanks now outnumbered McDonalds
Now the kids are singing, “Off with their heads”
Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla You know she’s got the means to end poverty But sharing’s never been in the job description When wealth and power is hereditary
Just over a week ago, we got the Sue Gray report into Partygate. Already tipped off by Boris Johnson that it was going to be limited, we weren’t quite sure what to expect, so, damning though it was, it was no surprise that it didn’t name names and that became the theme of this poem.
Later that day, I got a message from Willie Dowling, who asked if I was going to turn it into a song and if not would I mind if he did. Would I mind? I’m a fan! I was delighted and, later that night, there was a demo in my inbox with a couple of additional middle eights that Willie needed some words for. A phone conversation and a few emails and Twitter messages later, we had something ready to share.
“Sue Says” (Dowling/White) is currently only available on SMR Radio on Mixcloud. (Scroll to about 58 minutes in).
Spaffer Bodycount lied, said he didn’t know Spaffer Bodycount lied, said he didn’t go Spaffer Bodycount with a bottle of Bordeaux Spaffer Bodycount, at lying he’s a pro
Spaffer Bodycount lied, said he never went Spaffer Bodycount lied about a work event Spaffer Bodycount is definitely bent Spaffer Bodycount will never repent
Sue will do anything for him Cressida can’t ignore him On a Friday he likes to let it all hang out You know that Spaffer Bodycount
Spaffer Bodycount, he loves to partake But now Spaffer Bodycount is looking for a break Spaffer Bodycount can’t admit a mistake Spaffer Bodycount got ambushed by cake
Sue will do anything for him Cressida can’t ignore him On a Friday he likes to let it all hang out You know that Spaffer Bodycount
So, who’s gonna hold him to account? So, who’s gonna hold him to account? That lying, cheating Spaffer Bodycount That lying, cheating Spaffer Bodycount
Will he resign? Will he be forced out? Will the 1922 Committee get their 54 letters? (Just how archaic is this process?) Or will we have to build a statue of him and throw it in the Thames? Who knows? But in the meantime, a little gentle encouragement Protest Family-style, or the theme tune to a celebration. Let’s see…
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer for real He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By those with flat cap and Barbour jacket zeal
Thinks the Prime Minister’s a clown But an Oxford man in parliament Keeps taxes down
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer for real He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By those with flat cap and Barbour jacket zeal
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em Establishment shill
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer and proud He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By the side by side Tweed and plus fours crowd
Thinks the Prime Minister’s a comedy toff But an Oxford man in parliament Will keep the protestors off
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer and proud He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By the side by side Tweed and plus fours crowd
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em Establishment shill
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer and proud He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By the side by side Tweed and plus fours crowd
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em Gary just likes to kill
Apologise by not saying sorry Don’t let Sue get too a priori Make a list of your next quarry It’s Operation Save Big Dog
Ferguson went when he was too carefree Hancock survived over PPE But then got caught on CCTV It’s Operation Save Big Dog
Save Big Dog, it ain’t even in Latin Save Big Dog, the back bench are at him Save Big Dog, maybe this time it’s happening Operation Save Big Dog
Send ‘em Brandon Lewis tell him what to say Send ‘em Liz Truss, tell her the same Send ‘em Damian Hinds (who’s he anyway?) It’s Operation Save Big Dog
Tell a big lie, what have you got to lose? With a suitcase of booze and a crap excuse Hoping a Chinese spy will make the news It’s Operation Save Big Dog
Save Big Dog, it ain’t even in Latin Save Big Dog, the back bench are at him Save Big Dog, maybe this time it’s happening Operation Save Big Dog
Sacrifice a SpAd, that’s why you pay ‘em They all know there comes a day when A Barnard Castle eye test just won’t save ‘em It’s Operation Save Big Dog
Blow the whistle! The dog whistle Not the whistleblowers, feed ’em to the dogs Blow the whistle! The dog whistle It’s Operation Save Big Dog
Save Big Dog, it ain’t even in Latin Save Big Dog, the back bench are at him Save Big Dog, maybe this time it’s happening Operation Save Big Dog
We thought thatDear Mr. Johnson might make a late run at it, or even The Day They Cancelled Christmas, but the winner is the ode to the playthings of the super-rich, inspired, at least in part, by Jeff Bezos’ thanks to the shoppers and workers at Amazon for paying for his nearly-into-space jaunt. The surprise entry at number 2 is, we think, down to people searching for positive stories about anti-vaxxer Cassie; an algorithm win for us then. Good to see people still remembering our mate Chris too.
It seems that Orient fans are still obsessed with the owner who nearly killed the club, or maybe they’re just fans of lists of managers and Christmas harmonies. Nice to see that Brisbane Road continues to have a loyal following (as does Sean Thornton) and good showings from the three Lockdown Singles Club releases.
Songs from The debased street music of the vulgar proved popular along with live favourite God Save the Queen’s Speech. Interesting to see both versions of Where Tina Goes in the list; we always said it would be a hit.
Professor Chris in a darkened room With his message of doom, his message of gloom Says get your booster and get it soon That’s his message to you
Professor Chris on podium two Says don’t breathe on folks that you don’t have to And try not to let them breathe on you That’s his message to you
But now they’re looking at you like the monkeys in the zoo do The naked ape that hasn’t got a clue Throwing chimps’ tea parties and denying them too Now it’s time for you
(So) Bye bye, farewell, fuck off Bye bye, farewell, fuck off Bye bye, farewell, and then fuck off from there as well Bye bye, farewell, fuck off (You insufferable toff)
The football fans know it, the darts fans know it If there’s a party, you’re gonna throw it If there’s bad seed, you’re gonna sow it It’s time for you to go
(It’s) Bye bye, farewell, fuck off Bye bye, farewell, fuck off Bye bye, farewell, and then fuck off from there as well Bye bye, farewell, fuck off (You insufferable toff)
Bye bye, farewell, it’s time you blew And take Jacob Rees-Mogg along with you And Iain Duncan Smith and the ERG crew In fact anyone identified as blue It’s time for you
‘Cos they’re looking at you like the monkeys in the zoo do The naked apes that haven’t got a clue Throwing chimps tea parties and denying them too Now it’s time for you
(It’s) Bye bye, farewell, fuck off Bye bye, farewell, fuck off Bye bye, farewell, and then fuck off from there as well Bye bye, farewell, fuck off (You insufferable toff) Bye bye, farewell, fuck off
Steve White & The Protest Family 