Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer for real He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By those with flat cap and Barbour jacket zeal
Thinks the Prime Minister’s a clown But an Oxford man in parliament Keeps taxes down
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer for real He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By those with flat cap and Barbour jacket zeal
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em Establishment shill
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer and proud He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By the side by side Tweed and plus fours crowd
Thinks the Prime Minister’s a comedy toff But an Oxford man in parliament Will keep the protestors off
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer and proud He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By the side by side Tweed and plus fours crowd
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em Establishment shill
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer and proud He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By the side by side Tweed and plus fours crowd
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em Gary just likes to kill
Henry Hooray Huntingdon Hunter Pretends to no one it’s a trail hunt With his pinks and his horse and his Boxing Day booze He’s got the horn for a bit of sport “I say, fine day” for folk of his sort
Julia Hooray Huntingdon Hunter Would rather be a supporter Her and her daughter 4×4 around Checking out the hounds And the horseback clowns
Terry the terrierman Keeps his dogs in a box Next to shovels and spades Used to dig out a fox King of the quad bike A doffer of caps Not the nicest of chaps
Sebastian, field secretary The collector of subs From the killers of foxes And murderers of cubs Rides at the rear Prefers the hilltop scene Likes to imagine that his hands are clean
Walter whips-in For Henry Hooray Huntsman Summoned to trouble shoot By Henry Hooray’s horn He’s paid to spot foxes He’s paid to control hounds To keep them out of the neighbours’ Gardens and grounds But when called to explain A fox ripped limb from limb It was never anything to do with him
Inspector Carl Copper See nothing wrong here A country pursuit That the locals hold dear If there’s a breach of the peace It’s not that of the fox’s And he’ll brook no disruption Or interruption Of Henry Hooray Huntingdon Hunter’s day out Today or any other day He’ll just say “go away”
The hunt saboteur Recognises them all Julia Follower Henry Hooray’s hunting call Terry the terrierman With his dogs in a box Walter whipping-in Denying chasing a fox Sebastian the secretary Who never gets near And Inspector Ineffective Who will see nothing here
So when you’ve finished the tofurkey Tucked the last mince pie away The sabs will still have work to do On Boxing Day
Boxing Day: the big day in the hunting calendar and, amid horrid scenes from hunts across the country, including footage of a sab vehicle being battered with a dead fox 1, we got this from leading barrister, Jolyon Maugham:
Where do you start? What sort of person does that? And why? What sort of barrister, a QC no less, keeps a baseball bat handy, just in case? Further revelations from Mr Maugham included that he was wearing his wife Claire’s green kimono and was nursing a hangover with coffee at the time of the attack. The poor animal was trapped in netting near Mr Maugham’s chicken coop and Jolyon the Fox Batterer further excused his behaviour by explaining that the RSPCA were unavailable in Central London that day. 2
A one-off atrocity then, out of character from a man more used to a courtroom than a barroom brawl or, indeed, a baseball match, a man who has dedicated his not inconsiderable talent as a lawyer to taxation and to legal challenges to leaving the European Union. But wait, what about this tweet from November, some six weeks before he bludgeoned a fox to death in his garden, wearing his wife’s kimono?
Hard not to assume that the baseball bat is his weapon of choice, rather than just fell to hand, and was kept nearby for the explicit purpose of clubbing a fox to death. That’s not for us to determine, of course, that’ll be for the police, CPS and the courts. 3 Jolyon did, helpfully, ring the RSPCA and explain what he’d done once he realised that maybe his tweet hadn’t achieved overwhelming public support. It says a lot about his attitude to the fox’s life and cruel death that he thought it suitable material for his audience on Twitter.
So we say this: On this matter Mr Maugham, we are not on your side. We’re on the side of the fox.
Genuinely written one Boxing Day out of anger and frustration waiting for the hit reports to come in.
As the election approaches, a reminder: there may be no manifesto pledge to repeal the Hunting Act but Boris Johnson is pro-hunt. He repeatedly voted against the ban and even went so far as to suggest hunting urban foxes on horseback. “This will cause massive unpopularity but I don’t care” he quipped. Oh, what a laugh.
Of course Farage is too, it speaks of the imaginary England that he wants to return to, and he supports the violent and bloodthirsty Old Surrey, Burstow and West Kent hunt.[1] His decision not to stand in the election is both cowardly and cute, as it frees him up to travel the country campaigning with Brexit Party candidates with no pressure to succeed in his own constituency.
I’m acutely aware that Protest For Dummies, the album that features The Side of the Fox, is approaching it’s third birthday, and that the time, space, finance and recording logistics for the fourth Protest Family studio album are still matters for the future, so, taking them into my own hands, I will attempt to record the band myself over the next few weeks, having learned some valuable lessons in the process of creating solo efforts Snowflake and Fake News From Nowhere.
Fox, due a refresh with drums, is on the list, with another five songs currently in guide track form. Next step is Andi on the kit and then we’ll see.
Steve White & The Protest Family 