
Volume 4 features a re-mastered version of The Side of the Fox. Get your copy here.
Volume 4 features a re-mastered version of The Side of the Fox. Get your copy here.
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name
Game killer for real
He keeps the prey alive
To get shot out of the sky
By those with flat cap and Barbour jacket zeal
Thinks the Prime Minister’s a clown
But an Oxford man in parliament
Keeps taxes down
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name
Game killer for real
He keeps the prey alive
To get shot out of the sky
By those with flat cap and
Barbour jacket zeal
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill
He’s a huntin’, shootin’
String ‘em up and flog ‘em
Establishment shill
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name
Game killer and proud
He keeps the prey alive
To get shot out of the sky
By the side by side
Tweed and plus fours crowd
Thinks the Prime Minister’s a comedy toff
But an Oxford man in parliament
Will keep the protestors off
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name
Game killer and proud
He keeps the prey alive
To get shot out of the sky
By the side by side
Tweed and plus fours crowd
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill
He’s a huntin’, shootin’
String ‘em up and flog ‘em
Establishment shill
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name
Game killer and proud
He keeps the prey alive
To get shot out of the sky
By the side by side
Tweed and plus fours crowd
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill
He’s a huntin’, shootin’
String ‘em up and flog ‘em
He’s a huntin’, shootin’
String ‘em up and flog ‘em
He’s a huntin’, shootin’
String ‘em up and flog ‘em
Gary just likes to kill
Boxing Day: the big day in the hunting calendar and, amid horrid scenes from hunts across the country, including footage of a sab vehicle being battered with a dead fox 1, we got this from leading barrister, Jolyon Maugham:
Where do you start? What sort of person does that? And why? What sort of barrister, a QC no less, keeps a baseball bat handy, just in case? Further revelations from Mr Maugham included that he was wearing his wife Claire’s green kimono and was nursing a hangover with coffee at the time of the attack. The poor animal was trapped in netting near Mr Maugham’s chicken coop and Jolyon the Fox Batterer further excused his behaviour by explaining that the RSPCA were unavailable in Central London that day. 2
A one-off atrocity then, out of character from a man more used to a courtroom than a barroom brawl or, indeed, a baseball match, a man who has dedicated his not inconsiderable talent as a lawyer to taxation and to legal challenges to leaving the European Union. But wait, what about this tweet from November, some six weeks before he bludgeoned a fox to death in his garden, wearing his wife’s kimono?
Hard not to assume that the baseball bat is his weapon of choice, rather than just fell to hand, and was kept nearby for the explicit purpose of clubbing a fox to death. That’s not for us to determine, of course, that’ll be for the police, CPS and the courts. 3 Jolyon did, helpfully, ring the RSPCA and explain what he’d done once he realised that maybe his tweet hadn’t achieved overwhelming public support. It says a lot about his attitude to the fox’s life and cruel death that he thought it suitable material for his audience on Twitter.
So we say this: On this matter Mr Maugham, we are not on your side. We’re on the side of the fox.
We know a song about him:
Here comes Mr Superior
Here comes Mr Slightly Shocked
Here comes Mr Christmas Hangover
Here comes Mr Bash the Fox
Here comes Mr Green Kimono
Here comes Mr Property
Here comes Mr Tooth and Claw
Here comes Mr Atrocity
Oh yeah
Joly and the fox
Joly and the fox
Joly and the fox
Heseltine strangled his mum’s dog
Emily’s mum put down the cats
Walter Palmer killed Cecil the Lion
Now here comes the lawyer with the baseball bat
Oh yeah
Joly and the fox
Joly and the fox
Joly and the fox
Oh yeah
Here comes Mr Superior
Here comes Mr Bludgeon it to Death
Here comes Mr Devereux Chambers
Here comes Mr Fox’s last breath
Here comes Mr Waiting for Tax
Here comes Mr Sorry ‘Bout That
Here comes Mr Defender of Chickens
Here comes the lawyer with the baseball bat
Oh yeah
Joly and the fox
Joly and the fox
Joly and the fox
Heseltine strangled his mum’s dog
Skint Emily’s mum put down the cats
Walter Palmer killed Cecil the Lion
Now here comes the lawyer with the baseball bat
Oh yeah
Joly and the fox
Joly and the fox
Joly and the fox
Heseltine strangled his mum’s dog
Skint Emily’s mum put down the cats
Walter Palmer killed Cecil the Lion
Now here comes the lawyer with the baseball bat
Oh yeah
Joly and the fox
Joly and the fox
Joly and the fox
We know a song about him.
Steve
P.S. Hat-tip to PJ for the reminders about Michael Heseltine and Emily Thornberry.