If you think Theresa was the sensible one Just remember the hostile environment, son And if you think Boris ain’t as bad as this Then you’ve forgotten the bottomless Pit of his corruption The meetings with spies and the lies upon lies And the party, what party, oh that party, somebody should’ve said it was a party To be sure, he broke the law Meanwhile Liz turned up Fucked up, fucked off An impressive comic economic Molotov
Now the field’s wide open for more of the same Hunt rhymes too easily Shapps ain’t a hundred percent sure of his name And when Penny was at fire She’s on record as a liar So, there’s nothing to recommend here Except Project Have No Fear It’s time to smash it up and start again
He’s on pump number two with a jerry can He’s filled up the missus’ car and his work’s van He’s not panic buying, he’s a hard-working man A former bog roll billionaire
‘Cos it’s all going toilet rolls at Esso And it’s all going toilet rolls at BP “It’s bad, very bad,” says Hanna Hofer They’re queuing down the A13
He’s on pump number two with a jerry can And he’s got three full ones in the van ‘Cos last year’s lesson is this year’s plan For a bog roll billionaire
And it’s all going toilet rolls at Tesco It’s all going toilet rolls at Shell “Carry on as normal,” says Grant Shapps But he’s filling up his car as well
He’s on pump number two with a jerry can Saying “It’s not Brexit, it’s Covid, man” With the all the credibility of a sauna snowman With the bog roll billionaires
‘Cos it’s all going toilet rolls in Westminster It’s all going toilet rolls, upstairs ‘Cos a nation divided is a nation ruled By bog roll billionaires
You can’t trust Bozo to squash a sombrero
You can’t trust Matt with an app
You can’t trust Dominic to take a knee
Or any of the three with PPE
You can’t trust Bozo to squash a sombrero
You can’t trust Matt with an app
You can’t trust Jacob not to take a nap
Or any of that world beating crap
You can’t trust anything they do or say
I never trusted Tories anyway
You can’t trust Bozo to squash a sombrero
You can’t trust Matt with an app
You can’t trust Dominic with an eyetest
You can’t trust Priti in the slightest
You can’t trust Bozo to squash a sombrero
You can’t trust Matt with an app
You can’t trust Rishi with the dinero
Or any of that world-beating crap
Ideology or incompetence, you choose
Whichever way your coin toss lands
It’s heads they win and tails you lose
You can’t trust Bozo to squash a sombrero
You can’t trust Matt with an app
You can’t trust Michael with anything vital
Or any of that world-beating crap
You can’t trust Bozo to squash a sombrero
You can’t trust Matt with an app
You can’t trust Gavin with your schools
You can’t trust this cabinet of fools
You can’t trust Bozo to squash a sombrero
You can’t trust Matt with an app
You can’t trust Grant, you just can’t
And none of that world-beating crap
You can’t trust anything they do or say
I never trusted Tories anyway
You can’t trust Bozo to squash a sombrero
You can’t trust Matt with an app
You can’t trust Michael with anything vital
Or any of that world-beating crap
Steve White & The Protest Family 