Not oh-my-cron, little o But ommi-cron, I don’t know Why it should be so, but The alphabet deflects damnation From the variant’s home nation And nu could be confused with new And xi could be confusing too, But Johnson called it omnicron And that is definitely wrong.
Meanwhile Coach JVT Says we’re picking up injury And a yellow card or three. So, to avoid sending offs With persistent coughs He’s bringing on the booster shots And masking up in all the shops And trains and buses, at the stops Unlike his cavalier boss.
But transport’s one thing And shops are another While pubs and restaurants Don’t have to bother. If it’s personal responsibility What happens in hospitality Ain’t the fault of their strategy. “No sir, not us at all!” When it’s all spaffed up the wall.
Now they’re bringing in the army, Calling up the volunteers, Rolling up their sleeves Like antiviral engineers. They haven’t cancelled Christmas (That would be bad for business) Although there have been whispers. Not oh micron, but omicron What could possibly go wrong?
Did you ever while away a childhood hour Imagining your very own superpower? But never able to scratch that itch ‘Cos superpower’s reserved for the super-rich
Batman’s a toff, the stuff he’s got Bet he don’t pay tax on half that lot But if the city upped the ante And binned the vigilante They could fund the GCPD Properly (Commissioner Gordon would be proud)
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
Ironman’s a toff, the stuff he’s got Bet he don’t pay tax on half that lot ‘Cos Stark Industries’ A monopoly With sights on the whole defence Industry (He’s got a military industrial complex)
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
Andrew’s a toff, the stuff he’s got Livin’ off tax paid by you lot Touches who he wants With impunity ‘Cos his superpower’s unaccountability (On account of his mum being Queen)
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
Our superpower’s sharing, our superpower’s caring Our superpower’s looking out for one another Our superpower’s sharing, our superpower’s caring Our superpower’s looking out for one another
Jacob’s a toff, the stuff he’s got Bet he don’t pay tax on half that lot His hedge fund’s laughin’ While other folk are starvin’ His superpower’s alarming, while his wealth he’s guarding (He just doesn’t see poor people)
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
Hand over the keys to the Batmobile Built by our labour of hand and brain And hand over the iron suit too We don’t want to see your superhero arses round here again
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
If it’s 5-1 down at half-time And one minute to midnight, Then this metaphorical football match Is not in Glasgow tonight. It’s in Russia or Malaysia Or elsewhere in Asia Or Western Australia. And now he’s introduced a Bond-style doomsday device Are you guessing his advice Is doomed to failure? Because COP Number One didn’t get it done, Nor did COP Number Two (’96 in Geneva). The Kyoto protocol did pretty much sod all As a reducing greenhouse gas emission lever. And that was COP3, COP4 had little clout, And COPs 5 to 12 did nothing to write home about. COP 13 said refocus on CO2. COP 14 said give technology to developing economies And COP15, in Copenhagen, said that too. COP16 did little to convince As CO2 levels have risen ever since, And the treaty promised by COP17 Was never seen. So much for green. COP18 in Doha, didn’t get very far, And COP19 had little clout, when nearly everyone walked out. COP20 was in Lima, Peru, And nobody remembers what they resolved to do. The COP21 Paris Agreement said Forget CO2, let’s target temperature instead. COP22 did nothing new, Nor did COP23, actually, And COP24 also did no more. While COP25 in Madrid Just said and did what the others all said and did. So, what’s your aspiration for COP26? With metaphor faffing, Up the wall spaffing, Johnson between the sticks.
COP26, what’s this? COP26, what’s it gonna fix? COP26, just more politics And we’re running out of time.
This flooding is brought to you by Microsoft This wildfire by Sainsbury’s and our friends at Sky This drought by Unilever and some others we forgot We’re saving the planet One multinational at a time
Your speech is sponsored by “blah, blah, blah” Your blind eye by corporate environmental crime It’s greenwash, we know what you are You’re not saving the planet And were running out of time
You’ve got the tarmac, but we’ve got the glue You’re stuck on the motorway, and we’re stuck on it too You can stick your air source heat pump scheme, ‘Cos that just will not do You’ve got the tarmac, but we make the glue!
It’s 2021, and we’re still paying the price As once again enforcement just becomes advice We’re used to Tories doing things that really ain’t that nice But this one, I must admit, came as a surprise
‘Cos they’re shitting in the rivers and they’re shitting in the sea George Eustice reckons it’s okay, environmentally So, if you’re heading for your local spot to take a pleasant dip Remember, like the Tories it’s just full of shit
Raw sewage at the seaside isn’t very nice So, there’s a handy sign up to give you this advice You should keep your mouth and nose closed and best shut your eyes too ‘Cos your Tory MP voted for you to bathe in poo
They’re shitting in the rivers and they’re shitting in the sea They’re shitting on the likes of you and the likes of me So, if your heading for your local spot to take a pleasant dip Remember, like the Tories it’s just full of shit
In the absence of all reason they put it to the vote To throw shit into the rivers to float amongst the boats Two hundred and fifty Tories put their hands up for the right To fill your local waterway up with shite
They’re shitting in the rivers and they’re shitting in the sea They’re shitting on the likes of you and the likes of me So, if your heading for your local spot to take a pleasant dip Remember, like the Tories it’s just full of shit
She pulled him out of the river Fed him, clothed him, found him a home
Cos pulling folk out the river Is the only way she’s ever known
She pulls him out of the river And tomorrow she’ll pull him out again She pulls him out of the river But she’ll never meet the bastards That keep throwing him in
Keep throwing him in
She pulls them out of the river Without ever asking from where they’ve come
Fishing souls out the river And some days her day’s work is never done
She pulls him out of the river And tomorrow she’ll pull him out again She pulls him out of the river But she’ll never meet the bastards That keep throwing him in
Keep throwing him in
She’s fishing souls out the river Seems that’s the way it’s always been
While the soulless bastards in government Keep throwing them in
She pulls him out of the river And tomorrow she’ll pull him out again She pulls him out of the river But she’ll never meet the bastards That keep throwing him in
Keep throwing him in
She’s fishing souls out the river Seems that’s the way it’s always been While the soulless bastards in government Keep throwing us in Keep throwing us in Keep throwing us in
From Glasgow Southside to Southend West, A crusader, invader of mosques and the rest, A patriot, self-confessed, A racist, no less, self-obsessed, Contests Elections. So she can advocate, give weight And seek a mandate for her hate. Her will to aggravate and alienate Does not abate. It’s gross, The violent intolerance that she promotes, In red top quotes, One hopes Will get no votes.
I ummed and ahhhed about reviewing this one as I know a couple of the guys in the band, even played in a band with one of them, it could be a bit awks if it’s a bit of a shit show, but it wasn’t, in fact I really enjoyed it.
This sell out show doubled up as Steve’s retirement do and to my surprise, if you had a pink wristband there was a free bar, happy days. I caught the back end of the support band when I arrived and was a bit concerned that the front man only had one leg, fortunately it turned out this wasn’t the case, of their music, it sounded alright to me.
The first time I saw them and was taken by how bloody good they sounded as a band.
Tonight they sounded even better.
Before the main act came on Steve had a few tributes paid to him by his fellow fire fighters and union members. It was clear to see they had a lot of respect for him but if you know Steve, this would not come as a surprise. Then came the main attraction. The last time I saw Steve and the Protest Family was their final show before lockdown in March last year at The Birds Nest in Deptford, this was also the first time I saw them and was taken by how bloody good they sounded as a band, even with a bit of a shitty PA. Tonight they sounded even better.
The set was a mix of older material, new material and a golden oldie that goes back so far I even played on one the the many versions there are out there. The opener appears to be the standard opener as they started with it last time out, the a capella Hardworking. When I first heard this I thought it was a brave one to begin with, but in context with the rest of the set it works well and goes straight into Side Of The Fox, a ditty about the pointlessness of foxhunting (well that’s what I took from it without going into too much analysis). Keeping with the fox theme, the first newbie of the night Not That Fox, yes Lawrence Fox, an easy target for Steve to work on, and quite frankly a deserving target.
Since the last time I heard this, the Duke Of York has had a bit of a rough time of it
A couple of tunes about our glorious leader BoJo were next followed by one of the highlights of the gig, and one played last time, Air Miles Andy. Since the last time I heard this, the Duke Of York has had a bit of a rough time of it, and not even because of his overall pointlessness as a member of the Royal Family, no, as it is quire clear that he is a loathsome person who should do some jail time at his mother’s pleasure but clearly never ever will, he is a Prince after all. However I digress, if I was not mistaken the lyrics to this one had been updated.
Back in the 6 Of 8 days occasionally we would play this as an encore with Steve, but it never sounded as good as this
The first real old classic, and anybody who has been on a Sunshine Coach should know this song very well, was Brisbane Road. Back in the 6 Of 8 days occasionally we would play this as an encore with Steve, but it never sounded as good as this, and with a fair few O’s fans in attendance it was no surprise that this went down well. OK, so Tamika Mkandewire dates this song a bit, but who cares, this was definitely sing along of the night, and The Orienteer is still only a quid.
Song of the night for me was up next, Supersonic. I love the backing, it works for me, don’t know if this has been recorded, but for me this sounds like it would always work better live. Before you knew it the final song came, the closer last time out as well, God Save The Queen’s Speech. Can’t argue with that as she has a bloody enormous council house and it does need mentioning. No encore was played, but no matter, perhaps next time.
I really enjoyed the show, but what took it to another level from last time was the band sounded very tight and solid. Also, a mention in dispatches for Funky Lol’s fabulous guitar sound. I loved that scratchy high sound he had and thought it worked great with the sound of the band.
So, if you like a bit of satirical song writing performed very well indeed, you could do no worse than catching SW&TPF at a venue near you, if you happen to live North and East of the river, otherwise you may have a bit of a wait. Up the O’s
Setlist: Hardwork Side Of The Fox Not That Fox Have I Got News For You A Statue Of Boris Johnson Air Miles Andy No Pasaran In E17 Have A Word Should I Be Wearing A Mask? Brisbane Road Supersonic Han Solo The Gable God Save The Queen’s Speech
He still eats meat five days a week And runs his car on cheese and wine, Owns two hundred square miles of land And several droves of rarest swine. He’s waited on around the clock On hand and foot and royal cock, From royal shoe to royal sock And royal boxer to royal jock. He married the nation’s sweetheart Then walked his mate’s wife up the aisle, He was mates with Jimmy Savile And his brother is a paedophile.
He still eats meat five days a week And runs his car on cheese and wine, Owns homes that thousands of others live in And lets the rents just climb and climb. He’s waited on around the clock On hand and foot and royal cock, By valets who express no shock At some duties that most might knock. His brother is a paedophile His uncle even worse, it’s said. He runs his car on cheese and wine; Like all the rest, off with his head.
It’s all going to change down at Mel Park; They haven’t done the double since ’72. Now next season’s home kit will be all black And the players will all sport beards too.
‘Cos the Taliban have bought Melchester Rovers, The Premier League said they’re fit and proper, The fans trust that they’re guaranteed results, Or Roy Race’s other foot might come a cropper.
Yes, the Taliban have bought Melchester Rovers, “It’s not a sportswash,” a spokesperson said, “To want legitimacy on primetime TV, You could have had Sports Direct instead.”
Now some of the crowd are on the pitch, Celebrating the arrival of their new owners, ‘Cos the Premier League said that they’re fit and proper And the Taliban have bought Melchester Rovers.
Steve White & The Protest Family 