Author: protestfamily

The world's favourite east London semi-acoustic political sing along folk punk group.

Spaffed

Let’s paint it blue,
Draped with union jacks
But Spaffer’s West Wing
Just got the axe
He said “They wanna hear me”
But doubt got in his head
And now Allegra needs
Another job instead

Her’s got spaffed

Spaffed! There goes your taxpayer pound
Spaffed! By Bozo the Clown
He Spaffed on the bus, he spaffed in space
He Spaffed on Dido’s track and Dido’s trace

Let’s build a bridge
Bedecked with flowers
Take what’s theirs
And make it ours
We’ll host bridge parties,
Corporate jollies
Another of Johnson’s
Corporate follies

It got spaffed

Spaffed! There goes your taxpayer pound
Spaffed! By Bozo the Clown
He Spaffed on the bus, he spaffed in space
He Spaffed on Dido’s track and Dido’s trace

Let’s build an island
In the middle of the Thames
For planes to take off
And to land again
Like many of his ideas
This one was crap
Four million quid later,
Boris Island got scrapped

It got Spaffed

Spaffed! There goes your taxpayer pound
Spaffed! By Bozo the Clown
Spaffed on the bus, spaffed in space
Spaffed on Dido’s track and Dido’s trace

Let’s paint it blue,
Draped in Union Jacks
Let’s paint it blue,
Draped in Union Jacks
Let’s paint it blue, draped in Union Jacks
And bury the news that it’s been spaffed
Spaffed

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An Old Man Dies

The woman in the million-pound hat
Lost her husband.
I’m sure she’s sad about that.
I mean,
He started courting her
When she was thirteen.
Thirteen?!
Well, it was different then,
Men could be men,
And have fascist chums,
And shoot tigers with guns.
And wealth and privilege allowed him
To not grow up with the world around him,
Which he toured, by yacht and by jet
Being racist to many of the folk he met
Who won’t be sorry that his race is run
And won’t be tuning in to BBC1.

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Not That Fox

He hates this city so much that he wants to be its mayor
A cathedral of understanding that we need equality, we need to be fair
He’s come to unlock an open door
He’s come to fight in a culture war
He’s smoking in the sun on an open topped bus
Winston and he
Just wanna be free
Winston and he
Just wanna be free
Free to speak his mind
Free to be unkind
Free to be intertwined
With Tommy Robinson’s kind
He’s not a racist but
He’s not a racist but
He’s not a racist but
He’s a racist

He hates this city so much that he wants to be its mayor
Reclaim his right to white privilege, blue eyes and blond hair
He’s here to stand up for statuery
He’s here to stand up when you’re taking the knee
He’s smoking in the sun on an open topped bus
Winston and he
Just wanna be free
Winston and he
Just wanna be free
Free to delay the vaccine
Free to be casually mean
Free to be the latest seen
On the Farage libertarian scene
He’s not a racist but
He’s not a racist but
He’s not a racist but
He’s a racist

He’s a fox that we’re not on the side of
What he talks is definitely wide of
Right, whose right, what right, his right
Right, whose right, what right, his right
Right, whose right, what right, his right
Right, whose right, what right, his right

Here’s a fox that we’re not on the side of

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Ten Out of Ten

Spaffer and Jennifer
On the sofa
When Marina was out

Spaffer and Jennifer
Reading Macbeth
Before making out

Spaffer and Jennifer
Sending him pictures
With her titties out

Spaffer and Jennifer taking trips abroad
Spaffer and Jennifer committing fraud

But Spaffer got to mark his own homework again
And Spaffer gave himself ten out of ten

Ten out of ten
Ten out of ten
He marked his own homework
And got ten out of ten

Police on the common
At the vigil
Pushing women about

Police on the common
Pushing women about
With their truncheons out

Police on the common
Keeping the peace
Until the lights go out

Her Majesty’s Inspector looked hard and long
Her Majesty’s Inspector says they did nothing wrong

Ten out of ten
Ten out of ten
He marked his own homework
And got ten out of ten

The Commission on Race
And Ethnic Disparity
Report came out

The Commission said
It was a youthful
Idealistic shout

The Commission said
Now there’s nothing
To worry about

The Commission said they’d looked hard and long
The Commission said BLM had got it wrong

Ten out of ten
Ten out of ten
He marked his own homework
And got ten out of ten

Ten out of ten
Ten out of ten
When he marks his own homework
He gets ten out of ten

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Respect

Let’s drape a flag over every rough sleeper
Wave one at every asylum seeker
Fly one proudly on every food bank
Use Union Jack tissues to blow your nose
Let’s place our hands over our hearts
Whenever the national anthem starts
And belt out the first half dozen words
Replacing the rest with der-der-ders

And show respect
You’ve gotta show respect
You’ve gotta show respect
If you don’t show respect what could happen next?

Let’s demonstrate our loyalties
By being mean to refugees
Daub the job centre red, white and blue
Hand plastic flags to the soup kitchen queue
Let’s place our hands over our hearts
Whenever the national anthem starts
And belt out the first half dozen words
Replacing the rest with der-der-ders

And show respect
You’ve gotta show respect
You’ve gotta show respect
If you don’t show respect what could happen next?

Cos if you don’t show respect
You might start thinking about what’s actually going on around you
One in 445 dead
A roadmap, where will it end?
From feudalism to cronyism via capitalism

And der-der-der the national anthem

And show respect
You’ve gotta show respect
You’ve gotta show respect
If you don’t show respect what could happen next?

by Categories: COVID-19, Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Capitalism and Greed

“We’ll make fortunes, I bet,” Capitalism said.
“Agreed,” said Greed.
“At every step there’ll be a contract to be let.”
“Let them to me,” said Greed.
“I’ve no experience of health or PPE,
But I’ll make big donation to the Tory party.”
“Let’s make a Covid killing,” Capitalism said.
And Greed agreed.

“The usual arrangement?” Capitalism said.
“Agreed,” said Greed.
“Obscure procurement rules unashamedly bent?”
“Sounds good to me,” said Greed.
“Don’t worry if we make a mess,
We’ll just make out that it was the NHS.”
“Let’s make a Covid killing,” Capitalism said.
And Greed agreed.

“They’ve already laid the ground,” Capitalism said.
“Just what we need,” said Greed.
“To make a pretty penny off a pandemic pound.”
“They’re just like me,” said Greed.
“A bag of rocks in a suit with a mop on the top
Will help make sure that we profit from the lot.”
“Let’s make a Covid killing,” Capitalism said.
And Greed agreed.

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A Minute’s Silence

A minute’s silence, a Union Jack,
A press conference, a doorstep clap.
A doorstep clap, a Union Jack
A press conference, a road map.
A road map, a Union Jack
A how many vaccines today recap.
A vaccine recap, a Union Jack
A minute’s silence, a doorstep clap.
A doorstep clap, a vaccine recap,
A minute’s silence, a Union Jack;
Won’t bring all those people back.

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Jason and Joanna: Vaccine Wars

Joanna was waiting for a text from the surgery
Jason got a message that there was some going free
The end of the day, or it would be thrown away
Jason said that vaccine is mine

Jason got the Pfizer, she’ll probably get the Oxford one
His was from Germany, Joanna’s will be homespun
She heard side effects affect nearly everyone
Jason, however, was fine

And she’s mad that he kept the vaccine to himself
For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health
Now they’re ramping up the rhetoric, nuclear arms
There getting ready for a vaccine war

Jason shrugged, said it’s all about your contacts
It’s nothing personal you’ve got to watch your own back
You’ll get yours soon enough, I don’t understand the fuss
It’s the one thing he thinks he got right

Joanna thought the deal was to be in it together
Last year it was her warning him of heavy weather
He’s got everything wrong, now he’s coming on strong
It looks like there’s gonna be a fight

And she’s mad that he kept the vaccine to himself
For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health
Now they’re ramping up the rhetoric, nuclear arms
There getting ready for a vaccine war

She said no man is an island, I just don’t get it
It’s not like you to tell the world to just forget it
You think you’re the best but you’re gonna regret it
I don’t understand this at all

There’s no point being alone in your immunity
You might call it a herd but it’s actually community
Not a competition at every opportunity
Jason, you’re building a wall
Jason, you’re building a wall

And she’s mad that he kept the vaccine to himself
For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health
Now they’re ramping up the rhetoric, nuclear arms
There getting ready for a vaccine war
And she’s mad that he kept the vaccine to himself
For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health
Now they’re ramping up the rhetoric, nuclear arms
There getting ready for a vaccine war
There getting ready for a vaccine war

by Categories: COVID-19, Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments