Tag: politics

Wealthy People

Wealthy people: those with homes
Hairy people: those with combs
Royal people: those with thrones
Nosey people: those with drones
Music people: those with tones
Skinny people: those with bones
Traffic people: those with cones
Talking people: those with phones
Double people: those with clones
Gloomy people: those with moans (and groans)
Electric people: those with ohms
Library people: those with tomes
Garden people: those with gnomes
Hiking people: those with roams
Soil people: those with loams
Oyster people: those with zones*
Student people: those with loans
Rumsfeld people: those with knowns (and known unknowns)
Devon people: those with scones**
Sharper people: those with hones
Wiccan people: those with crones
Wealthy people: those with homes

*One for the Londoners
**Controversial, on so many levels

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Arise, Sir Tim

From Orwell’s imaginary pub
To an invitation to join the club
Arise, Sir Tim
We’re sure you’re gonna fit right in

Arise, Sir Tim Wetherspoon
The cheap booze in warehouses tycoon
The Brexit beermat cartoon
The politics of public and saloon

Arise, Sir Tim
Whose pubs are never prim
Whose pint is always full to the brim
Whose views are uniformly grim

From Orwell’s imaginary pub
To the King’s chummy little club
Raise a glass to Empire and Crown
You were never going to turn one down

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Michelle Mone

Michelle Mone
Doesn’t need a loan
Got two hundred mill
Sat on the MedPro throne

Now Michelle Mone’s
Cover’s blown
She lied to the press
As it’s now known

So, Michelle Mone
Will have to atone
‘Cause the PPE
Wasn’t well sewn

However, Michelle Mone
Wasn’t alone
But the WhatApp’s missing
Off Rishi’s phone

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Rishi Sunak Gives Evidence to the Covid-19 Inquiry

“Constructive candour”, Rishi says
What on earth does he mean?
I’ll tell the whole truth, nothing but
So long as my hands are kept clean

He says he’s very sorry
For what happened to you
But as for what he’s sorry for
We’re left without a clue

Meet the new boss, backs the old boss
The pundits are surprised
That he blames all the science
“We were just badly advised”

“Constructive candour”, Rishi says
We know just what that means
Not the whole truth, nothing but
Just keeping his hands clean

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Boris Johnson’s First Day of Evidence to the Covid-19 Inquiry

The dead can’t hear your apologies
The dead can’t see your sly smile
The dead can’t hear you blaming them
Like some oversized child on trail
The dead can’t see the messages
You accidentally lost
The dead can’t ask you questions
But the dead know just the cost
Of your lackadaisical attitude
Your laissez-faire approach
The meetings you weren’t bothered by
The rules with which you did not comply
The business-as-usual you deny
The herd immunity you tried to apply…

The dead can’t hear your apologies
But the survivor understands
There’s blood on your hands

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The Unbelievable Susan Hall

They picked my pocket, Susan cried
Unfortunately, Susan lied
(Abetted in her little trick
By LBC and her chum, Nick)

She left her Oyster on the train
And now she’s got it back again
Her cash also came to no harm
But still she’s blaming Sadiq Khan

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Put Up Shut Up Britain Part Four

Stay in school
Stay off the station
Do not protest
Our wicked nation

Get off the statue
Get on the plane
Do not take us
To court again

If it ain’t compulsory
It’s forbidden
Welcome
To Put Up Shut Up Britain

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Looking For a Fight

He’s not looking for a fight
He’s looking to look like he’s looking for a fight
He’s flexing little might with the far-right
He’s looking like he’s looking for a fight

He’s at the Cenotaph – singing England ‘til I die
The bobbies wonder why he’s singing England ‘til I die
They thought that remembrance was UK-wide
He’s looking like he’s looking for a fight

He’s at the Cenotaph – shouting at the bobbies
He’s at the Cenotaph – shouting where’s your poppies
Bobbies without poppies – he thinks it isn’t right
He’s looking like he’s looking for a fight

Bobbies without poppies – he thinks it isn’t right
He’s at the Cenotaph – singing England ‘til I die
He’s at the Cenotaph – flexing little might
He’s at the Cenotaph – with the far-right
He’s looking like he’s looking for a fight

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The Wetherspoons Fusiliers

Derek’s down with the Wetherspoons Fusiliers
Forming up to guard the Cenotaph
From a peaceful march that’ll never go past
At least he’ll salute our brave boys with a few beers

Derek’s down with the Wetherspoons Fusiliers
Following a Tommy licker sergeant major
Guarding a statue that ain’t in danger
‘Fuck off you slags’ the regimental motto sneers

Derek’s down with the Wetherspoons Fusiliers
To be honest he’s feeling a little bit parched
But Suella called ’em out to oppose to a hate march
She whistled up the dogs and Derek’s all ears

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Put Up Shut Up Britain Part Three

Banning tents
Grabbing arses
The fancies
Of the ruling classes

Who laugh
At Gaza’s epitaph
While the NF march
Past the Cenotaph

Show some respect
Dissent’s forbidden
Welcome
To Put Up Shut Up Britain

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