Tag: poetry

Sir Kier is Late For the War

Dear Donny, I’m so sorry I was late
I thought we had two weeks to get the message straight
You know that’s what the airbases are there for, mate
When Ronnie bombed the Libyans, we didn’t hesitate

I’ve got Lammy standing ready with a statement to make
He knows there’s a special relationship at stake
And if there’s war to be made, then war we shall make
I could do with some ban-the-burqa action to take

So, let me know Donny, if you’re gonna bomb some more
I wanna be like Margaret and Tony before
Not getting invited would leave me pretty sore
Dear Donny, I’m sorry I was late for the war

by Categories: poetry, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

President Grift

He wears his shoes way too big
And tells the most outrageous lies
He’s got magic healing ears
And blind eyes turned to genocide

His mates are cosplay fascists
But the real deal is him
Dare to disagree
And he’ll send the army in
(While political opponents
Are messily done in)

He’ll tell you that it’s beautiful
While beauty gets short shrift
All hail forty-seven
All hail President Grift

by Categories: poetry, SteveTags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Trump’s Trooping of the Colour

They’re rolling out the tanks
For the trooping of Trump’s colours
While the army train their guns on the workers of L.A.
And he holds Benny’s hand
While he drops bombs on Iranians
And starves Palestinians
I pray for rain on his parade

by Categories: poetry, SteveTags: , , , , , Leave a comment

The Toilet Police

Jakey’s got a new job
Care of that Supreme Court mob
What’s inside your boxers or briefs?
Jakey’s joined the toilet police

Jakey’s simply upholding the act
He needs to see your biological fact
He’s got his eye on your tomboy niece
Jakey’s joined the toilet police

An orderly queue, if you please
At the checkpoint for the Ladies
In his jackboots and company fleece
Jakey’s joined the toilet police

by Categories: poetry, SteveTags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

Look! Here’s Me As An Action Figure!

This website draws a picture
It really don’t take long
Here’s my ten seconds’ labour
For you to gaze upon

Who needs pen and paper
When all you do is type a prompt
No human being needed
Tell the robot what you want

It was clever, it was funny
It was quick and it was free
Upload your own image here
Wow friends and family

They liked it and they shared it
Like there was nothing wrong
And the AI kept on drawing
Until all the art had gone

by Categories: poetry, SteveTags: , , , , Leave a comment

The New Austerity Inn: The Ramp

Rachel took the ramp away.

“Happy hour is over,” she said. “If you can’t get into The New Austerity Inn unaided, then maybe this isn’t the pub for you.”

Liz, the HR manager from the brewery, nodded in agreement, and suggested shutting the pub during the day. “This is the pub of work,” she said. “People who can work, must work, and shouldn’t be coming in here instead.”

Rachel looked around her. Trade was down and the beer was going sour. “Yes,” she said. “That’s what we’ll do.”

by Categories: SteveTags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

A Letter From The King

Does it smell nice?
A letter from the king
Of scented ink, that kind of thing
Mellifluous craft and flowery word
Meticulously well-observed

Or does it smell of dusty palaces and old men
Tainted by the mouldering stench of then
Sparse script spiked with iron gall
As if the king should have to write at all

How tightly clenched, the royal jaw
How white-knuckled, the royal paw
Nib mashed to page, the words appear
One so looks forward to your second visit here

Behold, for sure, a regal thing
But what’s that smell?
A letter from the king

by Categories: poetry, SteveTags: , , , , , Leave a comment

Free Speech

He exercised free speech
To say he’d been denied free speech
There are things, he said, I’m not allowed to say

And then he said them anyway

We told him, you can say anything you want to say
There’s just one thing you really ought to know
If you set out to harm somebody else with your words
Then we reserve the right to tell you so

He said, oh

But there are crime crimes
Things that I know to be a crime
Then there are hate crimes
That I’m not sure are actually a crime

We took our time

If your crime’s linked to the colour of your poor victim’s skin
Or motivated by the relationship they’re in
Then what you did is a crime just the same
It’s just your hate has given it a name

But then, he said, there’s non-crime hate
We just said, mate
It’s your hate that you should be working on

He balled his fists, he stamped his feet
He said, you see, there’s no free speech
And with the rattle of a red pill
He was gone

by Categories: poetry, SteveTags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Damian

Damian picks his nose in the Oval Office
Wipes it on the desk like no one’s there
Damian speaks his mind without question
Damian meets the world with a confident stare

Damian hitched a ride on his father’s shoulder
His black-capped charger stamps a hoof and neighs
He knows all this will be his when he’s older
The Master of all that he surveys

Damian is laughing at democracy
Damian whispers in the President’s ear
Damian picks his nose in the Oval Office
Damian knows his time is nearly here

by Categories: poetry, SteveTags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

The Billionaires Are Leaving (But They Can’t Take Their Assets With Them, And They Never Paid Tax Anyway)

They’re packing up their space rockets and leaving
Britain is bleeding billionaires
But they can’t take their fixed assets with them
So nobody but Rachel really cares

by Categories: poetry, SteveTags: , , , , , Leave a comment