Hands, Face, Pasty

Six tier one folks can still meet inside
It’s the tier where the science and the politics collide
Where the rule of six guide stands ready for the slide
Over to the hundred in one hundred thousand side

So, we’re standing on the precipice of tier two
Sadiq says that it’s coming very soon
But I’ve got people to see and things to do
While COVID’s turning the screw

Meanwhile there’s a new slogan in tier three
Where you can’t have a pint except with your tea
It’s like Tim Wetherspoon’s writing policy:
Hands. Face. Pasty (and chips).

Robert Jenrick

Wouldn’t you expect
The Housing Secretary
To have more than one house?
It must be very
Confusing
Which one you’re supposed to be in
When you told the rest of us
To be disciplined.

Wouldn’t you expect
The Housing Secretary
To have more than one house?
In fact, he has three:
One in town,
One in the country,
And one in his constituency.
So, when he said “don’t travel to your second home”
He left travel from your first to your third alone.