Happy hour seems like a long time ago
Now it turns out that Rachel didn’t have a licence to run the New Austerity Inn
Don’t worry said the Big Boss from the Brewery
We all make mistakes
And while the beer is stale
and the punters are depressed
they all come in for a warm-up
this time of year
What they gonna do?
Go to the ‘Spoons?
Andrew, so-called prince
Publicly funded paedophile of this parish
Earl of Inverness
Erstwhile passenger aboard the Lolita Express
Refuses to confess
Shelled out twelve million nonetheless
Of public money, at a guess
Is still the Duke of York, unless
Parliament decides otherwise
Which would come as some surprise
Given its current tenants
So, he maintains the dukedom in his clutch
Just offers to not be known as such
Somehow by way of penance
Andrew, so-called prince
Publicly funded paedophile of this parish
His sweatless bluff now failed
His lies to Emily unveiled
Thought eighth in line would just prevail
But to no avail
Prepares for life beyond the pale
Should be in jail
Eighty years ago
My grandad lived in Walthamstow
He saw the queue for fish and chips
Get blown to bits
By a bomb in World War Two
Hated fascists, like you do
Moved to Clacton in ‘82
Derek lives in his house now
Flies the flag, English and proud
Remembers the war like yesterday
‘Though he weren’t born ‘til ‘53
He left Walthamstow in ‘92
And now he votes for fascists
Like you do
Racist Bob went to Handsworth
As close to a slum as I’ve come, he said
As close to numb as a bum, in his head
That’s been sat on for too long
As long as Bob’s been wrong
I didn’t see another white face, he said
Er, but it’s not about race, he said
That racist Bob
He thinks racism is fashionable
And he’s after the top job
Is Racist Bob
Nigel wants to kick out his girlfriend
Nigel wants to kick out his ex
An end to indefinite leave to remain
Them first, you next
Nigel’s borrowing policy
From the BNP and National Front
Even the right-wing papers say
Nigel’s an unworkable stunt
Fifty-five pounds’ worth of hope
Fifty-five pounds’ worth of luck
Fifty-five pounds’ worth fairer future
Fifty-five pounds’ worth of what the fuck
The flags are out for the predators
The flags are out for the sex pests
From Tommy’s long list of abusers
To Epstein’s special guest
The flags are out for the Rapist-in-Chief
Meet the King, wave to the crowd
The flags are out for the predators
Don’t it make you fuckin’ proud
Frog-faced fascist Farage
The tinpot TikTok wannabe dictator
Squawks deport ‘em all, let God sort ‘em out
Dreams of riots, five quid flags
And mini roundabouts
Dreams of Trump-ish sanctions
And Taliban transactions
It’s mass deportation masturbation
For a nation that’s been
Squeezed, plucked
Furloughed, fucked
Despairing for an answer
But stranded with a chancer
In stockbroker tweed
When what they need
Is far less greed
From those that have it all already
Such as him
Made in China from the finest polyester
Bought in bulk from that Bezos bloke
No official status in the state apparatus
It says I’m English mate, it says I’m not woke
It says I’m proud that there used to be a library here
Named after some statue or other
I’m proud of the flats that I will never afford
And the bedroom that I share with my brother
I’m proud of Jimmy Dyson, the entrepreneur
Shame his hoovers ain’t made round here no more
And I’m proud of Jerry Clarkson and his comedy farm
His avoiding tax ain’t doing me no harm
Proud of the mums of Epping draped in flags
With sons in the party and mates on tags
The GB News-er who runs his own boozer
And the RefUK councillor who’s a sex abuser
It says I’m proud of our culture, proud to be default
Proud of Nigel’s millions and the fine wine in his vault
Proud of the riots after the Southport attack
I’m proud we fought the fascists and I’m proud they’re coming back
Made in China from the finest polyester
Twelve quid on eBay for two
Not intended to intimidate, oh wait
Coming to a lamppost near you
Kier says that the suffering is terrible
Kier says that the suffering is wrong
Kier says that he’ll recognise Palestine
Once all the Palestinians are gone
Steve White & The Protest Family 