Spaffer Bodycount lied, said he didn’t know Spaffer Bodycount lied, said he didn’t go Spaffer Bodycount with a bottle of Bordeaux Spaffer Bodycount, at lying he’s a pro
Spaffer Bodycount lied, said he never went Spaffer Bodycount lied about a work event Spaffer Bodycount is definitely bent Spaffer Bodycount will never repent
Sue will do anything for him Cressida can’t ignore him On a Friday he likes to let it all hang out You know that Spaffer Bodycount
Spaffer Bodycount, he loves to partake But now Spaffer Bodycount is looking for a break Spaffer Bodycount can’t admit a mistake Spaffer Bodycount got ambushed by cake
Sue will do anything for him Cressida can’t ignore him On a Friday he likes to let it all hang out You know that Spaffer Bodycount
So, who’s gonna hold him to account? So, who’s gonna hold him to account? That lying, cheating Spaffer Bodycount That lying, cheating Spaffer Bodycount
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer for real He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By those with flat cap and Barbour jacket zeal
Thinks the Prime Minister’s a clown But an Oxford man in parliament Keeps taxes down
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer for real He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By those with flat cap and Barbour jacket zeal
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em Establishment shill
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer and proud He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By the side by side Tweed and plus fours crowd
Thinks the Prime Minister’s a comedy toff But an Oxford man in parliament Will keep the protestors off
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer and proud He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By the side by side Tweed and plus fours crowd
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em Establishment shill
Gary’s a gamekeeper by name Game killer and proud He keeps the prey alive To get shot out of the sky By the side by side Tweed and plus fours crowd
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em He’s a huntin’, shootin’ String ‘em up and flog ‘em Gary just likes to kill
Apologise by not saying sorry Don’t let Sue get too a priori Make a list of your next quarry It’s Operation Save Big Dog
Ferguson went when he was too carefree Hancock survived over PPE But then got caught on CCTV It’s Operation Save Big Dog
Save Big Dog, it ain’t even in Latin Save Big Dog, the back bench are at him Save Big Dog, maybe this time it’s happening Operation Save Big Dog
Send ‘em Brandon Lewis tell him what to say Send ‘em Liz Truss, tell her the same Send ‘em Damian Hinds (who’s he anyway?) It’s Operation Save Big Dog
Tell a big lie, what have you got to lose? With a suitcase of booze and a crap excuse Hoping a Chinese spy will make the news It’s Operation Save Big Dog
Save Big Dog, it ain’t even in Latin Save Big Dog, the back bench are at him Save Big Dog, maybe this time it’s happening Operation Save Big Dog
Sacrifice a SpAd, that’s why you pay ‘em They all know there comes a day when A Barnard Castle eye test just won’t save ‘em It’s Operation Save Big Dog
Blow the whistle! The dog whistle Not the whistleblowers, feed ’em to the dogs Blow the whistle! The dog whistle It’s Operation Save Big Dog
Save Big Dog, it ain’t even in Latin Save Big Dog, the back bench are at him Save Big Dog, maybe this time it’s happening Operation Save Big Dog
Professor Chris in a darkened room With his message of doom, his message of gloom Says get your booster and get it soon That’s his message to you
Professor Chris on podium two Says don’t breathe on folks that you don’t have to And try not to let them breathe on you That’s his message to you
But now they’re looking at you like the monkeys in the zoo do The naked ape that hasn’t got a clue Throwing chimps’ tea parties and denying them too Now it’s time for you
(So) Bye bye, farewell, fuck off Bye bye, farewell, fuck off Bye bye, farewell, and then fuck off from there as well Bye bye, farewell, fuck off (You insufferable toff)
The football fans know it, the darts fans know it If there’s a party, you’re gonna throw it If there’s bad seed, you’re gonna sow it It’s time for you to go
(It’s) Bye bye, farewell, fuck off Bye bye, farewell, fuck off Bye bye, farewell, and then fuck off from there as well Bye bye, farewell, fuck off (You insufferable toff)
Bye bye, farewell, it’s time you blew And take Jacob Rees-Mogg along with you And Iain Duncan Smith and the ERG crew In fact anyone identified as blue It’s time for you
‘Cos they’re looking at you like the monkeys in the zoo do The naked apes that haven’t got a clue Throwing chimps tea parties and denying them too Now it’s time for you
(It’s) Bye bye, farewell, fuck off Bye bye, farewell, fuck off Bye bye, farewell, and then fuck off from there as well Bye bye, farewell, fuck off (You insufferable toff) Bye bye, farewell, fuck off
Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas Bozo chaired a little quiz, Allegra had a little cry
Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas With a substantial buffet and glasses of wine
Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas Tory donors, Christmas jumpers, party hats if so inclined
Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas Snug up for the pictures, no need to comply
Cos the rules, don’t apply to them You can do what you like behind the doors of number 10 No, the rules don’t apply to them Whatever you do when it comes around, please don’t vote them in again
He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one Carrie’s got a baby and Wilfie’s only one And all the press are saying is, “not another one” He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one
Dead cats, reverse ferrets Dead cats, reverse ferrets
He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one Turns out there were loads while we weren’t allowed a one And he’s running out of mates even at the Currant Bun He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one
Dead cats, reverse ferrets Dead cats, reverse ferrets
He said it didn’t happen But it happened that it happened And it happens that we happen To know that it happened
He said it didn’t happen But it happened that it happened And it happens that we happen To know that it happened
He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one Carrie’s got a baby and Wilfie’s only one And all the press are saying is, “not another one” He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one
Dead cats, reverse ferrets Dead cats, reverse ferrets Dead cats, reverse ferrets Dead cats, reverse ferrets
Did you ever while away a childhood hour Imagining your very own superpower? But never able to scratch that itch ‘Cos superpower’s reserved for the super-rich
Batman’s a toff, the stuff he’s got Bet he don’t pay tax on half that lot But if the city upped the ante And binned the vigilante They could fund the GCPD Properly (Commissioner Gordon would be proud)
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
Ironman’s a toff, the stuff he’s got Bet he don’t pay tax on half that lot ‘Cos Stark Industries’ A monopoly With sights on the whole defence Industry (He’s got a military industrial complex)
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
Andrew’s a toff, the stuff he’s got Livin’ off tax paid by you lot Touches who he wants With impunity ‘Cos his superpower’s unaccountability (On account of his mum being Queen)
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
Our superpower’s sharing, our superpower’s caring Our superpower’s looking out for one another Our superpower’s sharing, our superpower’s caring Our superpower’s looking out for one another
Jacob’s a toff, the stuff he’s got Bet he don’t pay tax on half that lot His hedge fund’s laughin’ While other folk are starvin’ His superpower’s alarming, while his wealth he’s guarding (He just doesn’t see poor people)
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
Hand over the keys to the Batmobile Built by our labour of hand and brain And hand over the iron suit too We don’t want to see your superhero arses round here again
Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system Superheroes, supervillains, they’re just products of the system
COP26, what’s this? COP26, what’s it gonna fix? COP26, just more politics And we’re running out of time.
This flooding is brought to you by Microsoft This wildfire by Sainsbury’s and our friends at Sky This drought by Unilever and some others we forgot We’re saving the planet One multinational at a time
Your speech is sponsored by “blah, blah, blah” Your blind eye by corporate environmental crime It’s greenwash, we know what you are You’re not saving the planet And were running out of time
You’ve got the tarmac, but we’ve got the glue You’re stuck on the motorway, and we’re stuck on it too You can stick your air source heat pump scheme, ‘Cos that just will not do You’ve got the tarmac, but we make the glue!
It’s 2021, and we’re still paying the price As once again enforcement just becomes advice We’re used to Tories doing things that really ain’t that nice But this one, I must admit, came as a surprise
‘Cos they’re shitting in the rivers and they’re shitting in the sea George Eustice reckons it’s okay, environmentally So, if you’re heading for your local spot to take a pleasant dip Remember, like the Tories it’s just full of shit
Raw sewage at the seaside isn’t very nice So, there’s a handy sign up to give you this advice You should keep your mouth and nose closed and best shut your eyes too ‘Cos your Tory MP voted for you to bathe in poo
They’re shitting in the rivers and they’re shitting in the sea They’re shitting on the likes of you and the likes of me So, if your heading for your local spot to take a pleasant dip Remember, like the Tories it’s just full of shit
In the absence of all reason they put it to the vote To throw shit into the rivers to float amongst the boats Two hundred and fifty Tories put their hands up for the right To fill your local waterway up with shite
They’re shitting in the rivers and they’re shitting in the sea They’re shitting on the likes of you and the likes of me So, if your heading for your local spot to take a pleasant dip Remember, like the Tories it’s just full of shit
She pulled him out of the river Fed him, clothed him, found him a home
Cos pulling folk out the river Is the only way she’s ever known
She pulls him out of the river And tomorrow she’ll pull him out again She pulls him out of the river But she’ll never meet the bastards That keep throwing him in
Keep throwing him in
She pulls them out of the river Without ever asking from where they’ve come
Fishing souls out the river And some days her day’s work is never done
She pulls him out of the river And tomorrow she’ll pull him out again She pulls him out of the river But she’ll never meet the bastards That keep throwing him in
Keep throwing him in
She’s fishing souls out the river Seems that’s the way it’s always been
While the soulless bastards in government Keep throwing them in
She pulls him out of the river And tomorrow she’ll pull him out again She pulls him out of the river But she’ll never meet the bastards That keep throwing him in
Keep throwing him in
She’s fishing souls out the river Seems that’s the way it’s always been While the soulless bastards in government Keep throwing us in Keep throwing us in Keep throwing us in