Lyrics – Page 13 – Steve White & The Protest Family

Platinum Liz and Queen Camilla

Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla
On the date her father died
Showed her round the big council house
Saying this is the palace in which you’ll reside

With his and hers bathrooms for you and King Charlie
And his and hers butlers for your toothpaste squeezing
His and hers medals, after all it’s your army
And his and hers royal protection policing

Saying, “One day, all of this will be yours”

Ignore the liar down the road
Who partied when I laid my Phil to rest
He’s just a self-centred, selfish toad
Who thinks he’s better than the rest

I hear he said it’ll take a Panzer division
I dunno what possessed him
He’s forgotten our family’s historical position
And a German tank ain’t out of the question

He’s turned the governance of my green and pleasant land
Into a reality TV show
But the monarchy always remains
When it’s time for the likes of him to go

Saying, “One day, all of this will be yours”

Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla
On another day that the people were starving
On a day they debated the cost of living
And her Tory party were openly laughing

Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla
Top of her list of jubilee honours
While the people chose between food and warmth
And the foodbanks now outnumbered McDonalds

Now the kids are singing, “Off with their heads”

Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla
You know she’s got the means to end poverty
But sharing’s never been in the job description
When wealth and power is hereditary

Now the kids are singing, “Off with their heads”

February 9, 2022 by protestfamily Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: jubilee, platinum jubilee, politics, queen camilla, queen elizabeth, republican, royals, songwriting, writing Leave a comment

Sue Says

Just over a week ago, we got the Sue Gray report into Partygate. Already tipped off by Boris Johnson that it was going to be limited, we weren’t quite sure what to expect, so, damning though it was, it was no surprise that it didn’t name names and that became the theme of this poem.

Later that day, I got a message from Willie Dowling, who asked if I was going to turn it into a song and if not would I mind if he did. Would I mind? I’m a fan! I was delighted and, later that night, there was a demo in my inbox with a couple of additional middle eights that Willie needed some words for. A phone conversation and a few emails and Twitter messages later, we had something ready to share.

“Sue Says” (Dowling/White) is currently only available on SMR Radio on Mixcloud. (Scroll to about 58 minutes in).

Steve

February 8, 2022February 8, 2022 by protestfamily Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: #partygate, boris johnson, songwriting, Sue Gray, willie dowling Leave a comment

Spaffer Bodycount

Spaffer Bodycount lied, said he didn’t know
Spaffer Bodycount lied, said he didn’t go
Spaffer Bodycount with a bottle of Bordeaux
Spaffer Bodycount, at lying he’s a pro

Spaffer Bodycount lied, said he never went
Spaffer Bodycount lied about a work event
Spaffer Bodycount is definitely bent
Spaffer Bodycount will never repent

Sue will do anything for him
Cressida can’t ignore him
On a Friday he likes to let it all hang out
You know that Spaffer Bodycount

Spaffer Bodycount, he loves to partake
But now Spaffer Bodycount is looking for a break
Spaffer Bodycount can’t admit a mistake
Spaffer Bodycount got ambushed by cake

Sue will do anything for him
Cressida can’t ignore him
On a Friday he likes to let it all hang out
You know that Spaffer Bodycount

So, who’s gonna hold him to account?
So, who’s gonna hold him to account?
That lying, cheating Spaffer Bodycount
That lying, cheating Spaffer Bodycount

January 28, 2022 by protestfamily Categories: COVID-19, Lyrics, SteveTags: #coverup, boris johnson, coronavirus, COVID-19, Cressida Dick, music, songwriting, Sue Gray, Wine Time Friday, writing 1 Comment

Killing Birds (The Gamekeeper’s Song)

Gary’s a gamekeeper by name
Game killer for real
He keeps the prey alive
To get shot out of the sky
By those with flat cap and Barbour jacket zeal

Thinks the Prime Minister’s a clown
But an Oxford man in parliament
Keeps taxes down

Gary’s a gamekeeper by name
Game killer for real
He keeps the prey alive
To get shot out of the sky
By those with flat cap and
Barbour jacket zeal

He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill
He’s a huntin’, shootin’
String ‘em up and flog ‘em
Establishment shill

Gary’s a gamekeeper by name
Game killer and proud
He keeps the prey alive
To get shot out of the sky
By the side by side
Tweed and plus fours crowd

Thinks the Prime Minister’s a comedy toff
But an Oxford man in parliament
Will keep the protestors off

Gary’s a gamekeeper by name
Game killer and proud
He keeps the prey alive
To get shot out of the sky
By the side by side
Tweed and plus fours crowd

He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill
He’s a huntin’, shootin’
String ‘em up and flog ‘em
Establishment shill

Gary’s a gamekeeper by name
Game killer and proud
He keeps the prey alive
To get shot out of the sky
By the side by side
Tweed and plus fours crowd

He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill
He kills the birds that kill the birds he bred to kill
He’s a huntin’, shootin’
String ‘em up and flog ‘em
He’s a huntin’, shootin’
String ‘em up and flog ‘em
He’s a huntin’, shootin’
String ‘em up and flog ‘em
Gary just likes to kill

January 20, 2022 by protestfamily Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: animal rights, blood sports, gamekeepers, hunt saboteurs, hunt saboteurs association, songwriting, writing Leave a comment

Operation Save Big Dog

Apologise by not saying sorry
Don’t let Sue get too a priori
Make a list of your next quarry
It’s Operation Save Big Dog

Ferguson went when he was too carefree
Hancock survived over PPE
But then got caught on CCTV
It’s Operation Save Big Dog

Save Big Dog, it ain’t even in Latin
Save Big Dog, the back bench are at him
Save Big Dog, maybe this time it’s happening
Operation Save Big Dog

Send ‘em Brandon Lewis tell him what to say
Send ‘em Liz Truss, tell her the same
Send ‘em Damian Hinds (who’s he anyway?)
It’s Operation Save Big Dog

Tell a big lie, what have you got to lose?
With a suitcase of booze and a crap excuse
Hoping a Chinese spy will make the news
It’s Operation Save Big Dog

Save Big Dog, it ain’t even in Latin
Save Big Dog, the back bench are at him
Save Big Dog, maybe this time it’s happening
Operation Save Big Dog

Sacrifice a SpAd, that’s why you pay ‘em
They all know there comes a day when
A Barnard Castle eye test just won’t save ‘em
It’s Operation Save Big Dog

Blow the whistle! The dog whistle
Not the whistleblowers, feed ’em to the dogs
Blow the whistle! The dog whistle
It’s Operation Save Big Dog

Save Big Dog, it ain’t even in Latin
Save Big Dog, the back bench are at him
Save Big Dog, maybe this time it’s happening
Operation Save Big Dog

(Lyrics by Steve and Mark Commoner)

January 14, 2022January 30, 2022 by protestfamily Categories: COVID-19, Lyrics, SteveTags: #TimeToResign, boris johnson, coronavirus, COVID-19, Downing Street Parties, songwriting, Sue Gray, writing 1 Comment

Dear Mr. Johnson

Professor Chris in a darkened room
With his message of doom, his message of gloom
Says get your booster and get it soon
That’s his message to you

Professor Chris on podium two
Says don’t breathe on folks that you don’t have to
And try not to let them breathe on you
That’s his message to you

But now they’re looking at you like the monkeys in the zoo do
The naked ape that hasn’t got a clue
Throwing chimps’ tea parties and denying them too
Now it’s time for you

(So)
Bye bye, farewell, fuck off
Bye bye, farewell, fuck off
Bye bye, farewell, and then fuck off from there as well
Bye bye, farewell, fuck off
(You insufferable toff)

The football fans know it, the darts fans know it
If there’s a party, you’re gonna throw it
If there’s bad seed, you’re gonna sow it
It’s time for you to go

(It’s)
Bye bye, farewell, fuck off
Bye bye, farewell, fuck off
Bye bye, farewell, and then fuck off from there as well
Bye bye, farewell, fuck off
(You insufferable toff)

Bye bye, farewell, it’s time you blew
And take Jacob Rees-Mogg along with you
And Iain Duncan Smith and the ERG crew
In fact anyone identified as blue
It’s time for you

‘Cos they’re looking at you like the monkeys in the zoo do
The naked apes that haven’t got a clue
Throwing chimps tea parties and denying them too
Now it’s time for you

(It’s)
Bye bye, farewell, fuck off
Bye bye, farewell, fuck off
Bye bye, farewell, and then fuck off from there as well
Bye bye, farewell, fuck off
(You insufferable toff)
Bye bye, farewell, fuck off

December 22, 2021 by protestfamily Categories: COVID-19, Lyrics, SteveTags: boris johnson, Chris Whitty, christmas parties, coronavirus, COVID-19, songwriting, steve white & the protest family, writing 1 Comment

The Day They Cancelled Christmas

Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas
Bozo chaired a little quiz, Allegra had a little cry

Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas
With a substantial buffet and glasses of wine

Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas
Tory donors, Christmas jumpers, party hats if so inclined

Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas
Snug up for the pictures, no need to comply

Cos the rules, don’t apply to them
You can do what you like behind the doors of number 10
No, the rules don’t apply to them
Whatever you do when it comes around, please don’t vote them in again

December 15, 2021 by protestfamily Categories: COVID-19, Lyrics, SteveTags: allegra stratton, boris johnson, christmas parties, coronavirus, COVID-19, Shaun Bailey, songwriting, Tory sleaze, writing 2 Comments

Dead Cats, Reverse Ferrets

He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one
Carrie’s got a baby and Wilfie’s only one
And all the press are saying is, “not another one”
He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one

Dead cats, reverse ferrets
Dead cats, reverse ferrets

He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one
Turns out there were loads while we weren’t allowed a one
And he’s running out of mates even at the Currant Bun
He’ll need an army of dead cats to get out of this one

Dead cats, reverse ferrets
Dead cats, reverse ferrets

He said it didn’t happen
But it happened that it happened
And it happens that we happen
To know that it happened

Dead cats, reverse ferrets
Dead cats, reverse ferrets
Dead cats, reverse ferrets
Dead cats, reverse ferrets

December 12, 2021 by protestfamily Categories: COVID-19, Lyrics, SteveTags: boris johnson, carrie johnson, christmas parties, coronavirus, COVID-19, dead cat, no.10, reverse ferret, rules, songwriting, writing 1 Comment

Superheroes, Supervillains

Did you ever while away a childhood hour
Imagining your very own superpower?
But never able to scratch that itch
‘Cos superpower’s reserved for the super-rich

Batman’s a toff, the stuff he’s got
Bet he don’t pay tax on half that lot
But if the city upped the ante
And binned the vigilante
They could fund the GCPD
Properly
(Commissioner Gordon would be proud)