by
protestfamily
Categories: ReviewsTags: evidence-based punk rock, music, Reviews, songwriting, writing
Leave a comment
Tag: writing
The New Austerity Inn: The Budget
Rachel likes astronomy, looking at the stars
Imagining that she can see Jupiter and Mars
In the vast expanse of space, she can contemplate her soul
But in the New Austerity Inn
There’s just a black hole
So, Rachel put the price of the beer up
Rachel put a penny on a pint of ale
Rachel put the price of the beer up
But in the New Austerity Inn
It tastes just as stale
Free beer tomorrow says the sign behind the bar
But today, no brandy, no cigar
You can only have what you can afford
And in the New Austerity Inn
The price has soared
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
It doesn’t matter that she’s already poured it
You said you’d find another pub, but Rachel ignored it
Saying you can’t have it if you can’t afford it
Rachel put the price of the beer up
Rachel put a penny on a pint of ale
Rachel put the price of the beer up
But in the New Austerity Inn
It tastes just as stale
It’s licensee responsible, the alehouse of the possible
This is what it’s like, she says, when grown-ups run the pub
But if the beer is undrinkable, they’ll drink the unthinkable
In the Old Flag up the road, with Nigel and his club
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
It doesn’t matter that she’s already poured it
You said you’d find another pub, but Rachel ignored it
Saying you can’t have it if you can’t afford it
Rachel put the price of the beer up
Rachel put a penny on a pint of ale
Rachel put the price of the beer up
But in the New Austerity Inn
It tastes just as stale
The River – Live at The Station
If you know, you know…
Being English
The sign on the door says a nice woman
And a grumpy old man live here
Around the back a ten foot fence surrounds a garden
In which you sense that they may soon appear
By a shiny new flagpole and an even newer flag
Still flying the creases from the bag
This is our kingdom
This is our green and pleasant land
This is our place in the world
But we don’t understand
How all the money that we spend on being English
Doesn’t make being English very grand
It’s not racist, says the grumpy old man
But the basis for his racism is fear
When everything is getting worse and it’s hard to understand
Just blame them lot coming over here
With a shiny new flagpole and an even newer flag
Still flying the creases from the bag
This is our kingdom
Says the grumpy old man
This is our place in the world
But we don’t understand
How all the money that we spend on being English
Doesn’t make being English very grand
The people round here, says the nice woman
Used to be quite happy with their lot
There were factories and shops and their kids got better jobs
They worked hard for everything they got
Now they’ve got a shiny flagpole and an even newer flag
Still flying the creases from the bag
This is our kingdom
This is our green and pleasant land
This is our place in the world
And we’d share it if we can
But all the money that we spend on being English
Doesn’t make being English very grand
At Toad Hall a frog-faced fascist lights a cigarette
Pours a glass of Chablis with a grin
As he sleeps, his assets grow and grow
He owns the houses that other folk live in
He sells them shiny flagpoles and even newer flags
Still flying the creases from their bags
This is his kingdom
This is his green and pleasant land
This is his place in the world
And he fully understands
How all the money that they spend on being English
Makes his England really rather grand
This is our kingdom
This is our green and pleasant land
This is our world to share
And we need to understand
That the money that we spend on being English
Can make a world for all of us that’s grand
The Family Business
It goes back a thousand years
Of stamps and coins and souvenirs
A multitude of peers
Holidays as careers
It goes back to the point of the sword
It goes back to the point of it all
Seizing what was common before
Is the family business
It’s the family business
It’s the family business
Off with their heads
It’s the family business
Andy take the fall
You’ll topple us all
Royals without peasants
Ain’t royals at all
Your heritage won’t be linear
But your lifestyle won’t be chillier
We know paedophilia
Is the family business
It’s the family business
It’s the family business
Off with their heads
It’s the family business
Owning everything
Being the king
Wearing crowns and all that bling
Listening to that song that they all sing
Stuffing themselves like pigs
Doing god forbids
To other people’s kids
Is the family business
It’s the family business
It’s the family business
Off with their heads
It’s the family business
They weren’t sorry when you didn’t know
They weren’t sorry when you didn’t know
They weren’t sorry when you didn’t know
‘Cause it’s the family business
It’s the family business
It’s the family business
Off with their heads
It’s the family business
Not Being A Prince
No longer being a prince ain’t justice
The When-Willy-Is-King hints ain’t justice
Not being the Duke of York ain’t justice
All the media talk ain’t justice
(Not being the Earl of Inverness
Does anyone care less?)
Exile to Sandringham ain’t justice
Surnamed Mountbatten ain’t justice
Not Baron Killyleagh ain’t justice
How long the delay on justice?
They’re just protecting the brand
Letting you think he’s damned
But beyond the pale
Still ain’t in jail
The New Austerity Inn: Rachel’s Licence
Happy hour seems like a long time ago
Now it turns out that Rachel didn’t have a licence to run the New Austerity Inn
Don’t worry said the Big Boss from the Brewery
We all make mistakes
And while the beer is stale
and the punters are depressed
they all come in for a warm-up
this time of year
What they gonna do?
Go to the ‘Spoons?
The Cesspit
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day another swim in you guessed it
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day in the shit
(Log on)
Embery says there’s too many blacks on TV
Pochin Reform MP says I agree
Little Tommy Tel Aviv Telegrams in
Benny’s Luton teddy with the cocaine grin
Luton, Durham, Epping, Stoke
Things go better with Nigel’s coke
Need a toke to supercharge your anti-woke
Things go better with Nigel’s coke
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day another swim in you guessed it
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day in the shit
Race is where the money wants you to go
Race is where they say the blame is—oh
Race is where the money wants you to go
The money made the racism don’t you know
‘Cos you don’t go to war with your equals
You go to war with the not-like-you
You don’t go to war with your equals
That’s why they’re feeding you on Elon’s stew
(Elon’s racist stew—fuck you)
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day another swim in you guessed it
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day in the shit
In Epping Adam says that paedos make him ill
Only the ones with brown faces still
Not the hundreds of white ones up the hill
Adam doesn’t care he’s a billionaire’s shill
Adam’s got a TV slot he needs to fill
Adam’s got a mission that he needs to fulfil
Adam doesn’t care he’s a billionaire’s shill
Adam’s making bitcoin off the red pill
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day another swim in you guessed it
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day in the shit
Flags or community you choose
A seat on the bus or Great Replacement News
You can be a racist or you can refuse
A swim in the cesspit
A wade in you guessed it
Another day in the shit
Trick Or Treat?
Weave the finest golden thread
Into a basket on your head
While spray tan panda eyes
Stare out from your disguise
Purse your lips into a bow
Like a German umlaut O
And tell them that it’s beautiful
That it’s indisputable
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Trick or treat?
And if that ain’t enough to scare ‘em
A masked militia might
Set upon anyone
Who isn’t quite white
Tear down, destroy and pillage
To remake in your image
Oh, the trick is sweet
Demand a Nobel treat
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Trick or treat?
Light your pumpkin lanterns
Stock up on your sweets
The monster’s coming
Trick or treat?
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Trick or treat?
Trick or treat?
“…it is hard to remain authentically riotous when you’re eligible for free travel on public transport.” The Leyton Orientear review of Evidence-Based Punk Rock
Steve White & The Protest Family 