No longer being a prince ain’t justice
The When-Willy-Is-King hints ain’t justice
Not being the Duke of York ain’t justice
All the media talk ain’t justice
(Not being the Earl of Inverness
Does anyone care less?)
Exile to Sandringham ain’t justice
Surnamed Mountbatten ain’t justice
Not Baron Killyleagh ain’t justice
How long the delay on justice?
They’re just protecting the brand
Letting you think he’s damned
But beyond the pale
Still ain’t in jail
Kings and queens are all, it seems
We need to keep food on our plate
Kings and queens and Heinz Baked Beans*
And golden carriages of state
Kings and queens are all, it seems
We need to keep us warm and fed
Kings and queens and Heinz Baked Beans
And Tory Warburtons sliced bread**
So, boo to cost of living crisis
Boo to rising staple prices
Hurrah for Charlie and Camilla
Beans on toast again for dinner
*Well, you’ve got to have standards
**Other bread is available
Crowdfund the coronation
Don’t pay for it from our taxation
If you support the celebration
Then you can make a small donation
Crowdfund the coronation
But make it so that each donation
Ticks a box to just make sure
You’d rather not give to the poor
Crowdfund the coronation
Don’t pay for it from our taxation
Of which we’re told there’s such a dearth
We can’t pay nurses what they’re worth
Crowdfund the coronation
And if folk need some motivation
A celebrity-packed one day’s TV
Can raise some cash for kings in need
Crowdfund the coronation
Crowdfund the whole damn operation
The nation then with one accord
Will have the royals they can afford
Willy’s at the foodbank
Polishing the brand
Stepping from the Range Rover
With nothing in his hand
Kate is in a pink coat
Willy’s jumper’s green
They’ve brought a photographer
They’re here to be seen
Willy’s at the foodbank
Chatting to the staff
Kate is sorting out the tins
They’re both having a laugh
Like this is all so normal
This whip round for the poor
With his green-jumpered patronage
And the pink coat that she wore
Willy’s at the foodbank
And no one’s going to say
That they never used to need
A foodbank round this way
Kate is in a pink coat
Willy’s jumper’s green
While the folk who use the foodbank
Are neither heard nor seen
‘Cause some of them are nurses
And that would never do
The Prince bestowing loaves of bread
When claps would surely do
They’ve brought a photographer
To keep the image clean
Kate is in a pink coat
And Willy’s jumper’s green
His Royal Highness
Dressed to oppress
In his brightest whitest colonial best
Atop a Land Rover owned by Queen Bess
Says I feel sorrow about the slaves
I feel so sorry you feel that way
Britannia rules the waves
Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla
On the date her father died
Showed her round the big council house
Saying this is the palace in which you’ll reside
With his and hers bathrooms for you and King Charlie
And his and hers butlers for your toothpaste squeezing
His and hers medals, after all it’s your army
And his and hers royal protection policing
Saying, “One day, all of this will be yours”
Ignore the liar down the road
Who partied when I laid my Phil to rest
He’s just a self-centred, selfish toad
Who thinks he’s better than the rest
I hear he said it’ll take a Panzer division
I dunno what possessed him
He’s forgotten our family’s historical position
And a German tank ain’t out of the question
He’s turned the governance of my green and pleasant land
Into a reality TV show
But the monarchy always remains
When it’s time for the likes of him to go
Saying, “One day, all of this will be yours”
Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla
On another day that the people were starving
On a day they debated the cost of living
And her Tory party were openly laughing
Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla
Top of her list of jubilee honours
While the people chose between food and warmth
And the foodbanks now outnumbered McDonalds
Now the kids are singing, “Off with their heads”
Platinum Liz crowned Queen Camilla
You know she’s got the means to end poverty
But sharing’s never been in the job description
When wealth and power is hereditary
Now the kids are singing, “Off with their heads”
Steve White & The Protest Family 