Crowdfund the Coronation

Crowdfund the coronation
Don’t pay for it from our taxation
If you support the celebration
Then you can make a small donation

Crowdfund the coronation
But make it so that each donation
Ticks a box to just make sure
You’d rather not give to the poor

Crowdfund the coronation
Don’t pay for it from our taxation
Of which we’re told there’s such a dearth
We can’t pay nurses what they’re worth

Crowdfund the coronation
And if folk need some motivation
A celebrity-packed one day’s TV
Can raise some cash for kings in need

Crowdfund the coronation
Crowdfund the whole damn operation
The nation then with one accord
Will have the royals they can afford

A Trip to Mars

You can buy a trip to Mars
With three billion Mars bars
But Dido does a million and a half a day
On her defective track and trace,
That’s enough for every homeless person in the UK
To eat six Mars bars a day.
But if the corporations paid their tax
The homeless would have to give some Mars bars back,
‘Cos they wouldn’t be able to take away
Nearly six hundred bars a day.
In fact, take the tax from the corporate trousers
And just build chocolate and nougat houses.
By the time you got to the 28th
They’d could all live on a Mars bar estate,
Somewhere out in Essex
That they could nibble on if they’re peckish.