Category: Lyrics

The New Austerity Inn: The Budget

Rachel likes astronomy, looking at the stars
Imagining that she can see Jupiter and Mars
In the vast expanse of space, she can contemplate her soul
But in the New Austerity Inn
There’s just a black hole

So, Rachel put the price of the beer up
Rachel put a penny on a pint of ale
Rachel put the price of the beer up
But in the New Austerity Inn
It tastes just as stale

Free beer tomorrow says the sign behind the bar
But today, no brandy, no cigar
You can only have what you can afford
And in the New Austerity Inn
The price has soared

You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
It doesn’t matter that she’s already poured it
You said you’d find another pub, but Rachel ignored it
Saying you can’t have it if you can’t afford it

Rachel put the price of the beer up
Rachel put a penny on a pint of ale
Rachel put the price of the beer up
But in the New Austerity Inn
It tastes just as stale

It’s licensee responsible, the alehouse of the possible
This is what it’s like, she says, when grown-ups run the pub
But if the beer is undrinkable, they’ll drink the unthinkable
In the Old Flag up the road, with Nigel and his club

You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
It doesn’t matter that she’s already poured it
You said you’d find another pub, but Rachel ignored it
Saying you can’t have it if you can’t afford it

Rachel put the price of the beer up
Rachel put a penny on a pint of ale
Rachel put the price of the beer up
But in the New Austerity Inn
It tastes just as stale

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

Being English

The sign on the door says a nice woman
And a grumpy old man live here
Around the back a ten foot fence surrounds a garden
In which you sense that they may soon appear
By a shiny new flagpole and an even newer flag
Still flying the creases from the bag

This is our kingdom
This is our green and pleasant land
This is our place in the world
But we don’t understand
How all the money that we spend on being English
Doesn’t make being English very grand

It’s not racist, says the grumpy old man
But the basis for his racism is fear
When everything is getting worse and it’s hard to understand
Just blame them lot coming over here
With a shiny new flagpole and an even newer flag
Still flying the creases from the bag

This is our kingdom
Says the grumpy old man
This is our place in the world
But we don’t understand
How all the money that we spend on being English
Doesn’t make being English very grand

The people round here, says the nice woman
Used to be quite happy with their lot
There were factories and shops and their kids got better jobs
They worked hard for everything they got
Now they’ve got a shiny flagpole and an even newer flag
Still flying the creases from the bag

This is our kingdom
This is our green and pleasant land
This is our place in the world
And we’d share it if we can
But all the money that we spend on being English
Doesn’t make being English very grand

At Toad Hall a frog-faced fascist lights a cigarette
Pours a glass of Chablis with a grin
As he sleeps, his assets grow and grow
He owns the houses that other folk live in
He sells them shiny flagpoles and even newer flags
Still flying the creases from their bags

This is his kingdom
This is his green and pleasant land
This is his place in the world
And he fully understands
How all the money that they spend on being English
Makes his England really rather grand

This is our kingdom
This is our green and pleasant land
This is our world to share
And we need to understand
That the money that we spend on being English
Can make a world for all of us that’s grand

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

The Family Business

It goes back a thousand years
Of stamps and coins and souvenirs
A multitude of peers
Holidays as careers
It goes back to the point of the sword
It goes back to the point of it all
Seizing what was common before

Is the family business
It’s the family business
It’s the family business
Off with their heads
It’s the family business

Andy take the fall
You’ll topple us all
Royals without peasants
Ain’t royals at all
Your heritage won’t be linear
But your lifestyle won’t be chillier
We know paedophilia

Is the family business
It’s the family business
It’s the family business
Off with their heads
It’s the family business

Owning everything
Being the king
Wearing crowns and all that bling
Listening to that song that they all sing
Stuffing themselves like pigs
Doing god forbids
To other people’s kids

Is the family business
It’s the family business
It’s the family business
Off with their heads
It’s the family business

They weren’t sorry when you didn’t know
They weren’t sorry when you didn’t know
They weren’t sorry when you didn’t know

‘Cause it’s the family business
It’s the family business
It’s the family business
Off with their heads
It’s the family business

by Categories: LyricsTags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

The Cesspit

Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day another swim in you guessed it
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day in the shit

(Log on)

Embery says there’s too many blacks on TV
Pochin Reform MP says I agree
Little Tommy Tel Aviv Telegrams in
Benny’s Luton teddy with the cocaine grin

Luton, Durham, Epping, Stoke
Things go better with Nigel’s coke
Need a toke to supercharge your anti-woke
Things go better with Nigel’s coke

Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day another swim in you guessed it
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day in the shit

Race is where the money wants you to go
Race is where they say the blame is—oh
Race is where the money wants you to go
The money made the racism don’t you know

‘Cos you don’t go to war with your equals
You go to war with the not-like-you
You don’t go to war with your equals
That’s why they’re feeding you on Elon’s stew

(Elon’s racist stew—fuck you)

Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day another swim in you guessed it
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day in the shit

In Epping Adam says that paedos make him ill
Only the ones with brown faces still
Not the hundreds of white ones up the hill
Adam doesn’t care he’s a billionaire’s shill

Adam’s got a TV slot he needs to fill
Adam’s got a mission that he needs to fulfil
Adam doesn’t care he’s a billionaire’s shill
Adam’s making bitcoin off the red pill

Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day another swim in you guessed it
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day in the shit

Flags or community you choose
A seat on the bus or Great Replacement News
You can be a racist or you can refuse
A swim in the cesspit
A wade in you guessed it
Another day in the shit

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Trick Or Treat?

Weave the finest golden thread
Into a basket on your head
While spray tan panda eyes
Stare out from your disguise

Purse your lips into a bow
Like a German umlaut O
And tell them that it’s beautiful
That it’s indisputable

Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Trick or treat?

And if that ain’t enough to scare ‘em
A masked militia might
Set upon anyone
Who isn’t quite white

Tear down, destroy and pillage
To remake in your image
Oh, the trick is sweet
Demand a Nobel treat

Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Trick or treat?

Light your pumpkin lanterns
Stock up on your sweets
The monster’s coming
Trick or treat?

Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Trick or treat?
Trick or treat?

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

America’s Broke

This land of the free, land of opportunity
This land of decree and presidential immunity
This land of MAGA suck-it-up
And everybody’s got a gun

This land of the free, this land of the brave
This land where rich folk go to misbehave
This land of tariffs
And society coming undone

This land ain’t your land, this land is their land
Where the borders are closed and dissent is banned
And the boots are on the ground
Like fascism one-oh-one

This America’s broke and I’d like to return it
They said they’d make it great, but they just tried to burn it
Down
And this Britain ain’t great either
It’s just trickle down town

Oh, say can you see by the dawn’s early light
A truck load of ICE agents coming into sight
Chasing people of colour
Wearing masks and shooting guns

Oh, say can you see by Jeffrey’s list
That power and abuse always coexist
And the land of the free
Is run by fortunate sons

This America’s broke and I’d like to return it
They said they’d make it great, but they just tried to burn it
Down
And this Britain ain’t great either
It’s just trickle down town

The star-spangled banner’s looking pretty grubby
The star-spangled banner’s looking for the money
Grifted away from sea to shining sea

The star-spangled banner’s looking pretty grim
When everything hangs on a presidential whim
To grift it away from sea to shining sea

This America’s broke and I’d like to return it
They said they’d make it great, but they just tried to burn it
Down
And this Britain ain’t great either
It’s just trickle down town
This America’s broke and I’d like to return it
They said they’d make it great, but they just tried to burn it
Down
And this Britain ain’t great either
It’s just trickle down town

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Monsters

People are on the menu
People live in fear
The knives and forks are out
The monsters are here

People are on the menu
Snatch squads are at large
The knives and forks are out
When the monsters are in charge

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

Self-crowned and self- appointed
They’ll tell you they’re your choice
While all channels broadcast
His monster’s voice

Fear of the monster
Fear of the fork
Fear breeds acquiescence
And all that up the monster talk

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

Behold our loyalty they cry
Hoist up the monster flag
Eat the brown ones first they plead
Their patriotic brag

There’s monster work to fulfil
You better understand
The monster’s here by God’s will
And sat at his right hand

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

They’re gonna take the monsters’ share
And the monsters’ share keeps growing
And tell the people that it’s fair
It’s other people that are owing
They’re gonna take the monsters’ share
And the monsters’ share keeps growing
That’s why they’re eating people
‘Cos it’s people that are owing

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too-oo-oo
Too-oo-oo
Too-oo-oo

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

(They’re Eating The) Swans

They’re eating the swans says Derek
They’re eating the swans in the Royal Park
Shut up Derek says Margaret
Stop being so daft

I heard it this morning on LBC
Where nothing is true so anything could be
In Clacton, it’s Derek’s take
That fake news is real, and real news is fake

When the MP shares a racist trope
The MP’s that kinda racist bloke
An MP who shares a racist hoax
Then covers his tracks with a just misspoke

Tropes to cover his tracks
Avoiding questions about his tax
And callers on the phone
Asking whose money paid for his Clacton home

When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
And Nigel is the type of bloke
Who likes to share a racist trope
As you can see

Meanwhile across the pond
The stories correspond
They’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats
Are Donny’s version of the facts

Dropping racist bombs
Makes you wonder where Nigel gets it from
A taxi driver he says
Is where he gets his facts these days

When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
And Nigel is the type of bloke
Who likes to share a racist trope
As you can see

They’re bringing in shariah law, says Derek
I heard it on LBC
Nigel’s taxi driver says so
And who am I to disagree

They’re eating the swans says Derek
It’s our MP’s hot take
When nothing is true in Clacton
Fake news is real and real news is fake

When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
And Nigel is the type of bloke
Who likes to share a racist trope
As you can see

When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be…..

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Oh England (Can You Tell Me Where It Hurts?)

This land of riches, this land of rags
This land of lampposts and angry flags
Of roundabouts and hasty tags
Oh England, can you tell me where it hurts

This land of swine, this land of pearls
This land of violence ‘gainst women and girls
This land that squints out at the world
Oh England, can you tell me where it hurts
Oh England, can you tell me where it hurts

The pain is real
The pain is there
The pain you feel
The pain’s unfair
When you feel there’s nowhere left to turn
History has a lesson
You need to learn

Is it the hours and days on hold
The choice of hunger or of cold
Just the sheer lack of control
Oh England, can you tell me where it hurts

Is it the blank-faced lawyer and his blank-faced crew
Paralysed without a clue
When they say they know what to do
Oh England, can you tell me where it hurts
Oh England, can you tell me where it hurts

The pain is real
The pain is there
The pain you feel
The pain’s unfair
When you feel there’s nowhere left to turn
History has a lesson
You need to learn

This land of hope and former glory
Rich colour in the nation’s story
By land and sea and century
Oh England, can you tell me where it hurts

This land of wider still and wider
Shrinking in the light of day
Of awkward empire pride and shame
Oh England, can you tell me where it hurts
Oh England, can you tell me where it hurts

This land of drawbridges and moats
This land of pointless wasted votes
This land obsessed with small boats
Oh England, can you tell me where it hurts
Oh England, can you tell me where it hurts
Oh England, can you tell me where it hurts

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Shot With Guns

It’s their Second Amendment right, they say
To carry a gun
Just in case they feel the need
To shoot someone
The price they pay, they say
For carrying guns
Is quite a long list
Of shot someones

There goes another one
There goes another one
On the long list of someones
Shot with guns

This one’s name was Charlie
Not a nice chap
But not nice ain’t no reason
To get shot at
On tour with his horror show
And on the MAGA cheque
Poor old Nasty Charlie
Got one in the neck

There goes another one
There goes another one
On the long list of someones
Shot with guns

They’ve got school shootings
They’ve got mall shootings
They’ve got police shootings
They’ve got belief shootings
They’ve got fear shootings
They’ve even got ear shootings
And a long list of someones shot with guns

There goes another one
There goes another one
On the long list of someones
Shot with guns

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment