He was a broker, not a banker Now the bank thinks he’s a wanker (An easy rhyme, from time to time Is not a crime, if so inclined) But don’t shower them with applause When they also bank the Ingram-Moores Who used the Captain Tom Foundation To fund their own recreation And tried to build a swimming pool Not a hospital or school ‘Til subject to overwhelming Social media ridicule But to the case in hand Bank-less racist Brexit man Who’s crying, woe is me The wokerati, I’m cancelled see ‘Cause there’s reputational damage To be linked with folk like Farage*
Nigel ain’t politically exposed Nigel’s cash is just a little indisposed Nigel went and got his account closed Cause Nigel’s running out of money
Nigel ain’t a victim of persecution He’s just having issues with his contribution Nigel’s pile’s suffering from diminution Seems Nigel’s running out of money
Nigel ain’t a martyr he’s just a bit skint If you wanna bank at Coutts you’d better have a mint Nigel, it seems didn’t wanna take the hint That Nigel’s running out of money
Now wait for Nigel to pull a Yaxley-Lennon They’re picking on me, is what he’s gonna tell ‘em So please send cash and excuse the indiscretion Cause Nigel’s running out of money
Donny got fired and Donny didn’t like it Donny was so mad that he organised a riot Donny stole secrets and kept them in the toilet And Donny says he wants the job again
Donny got arrested and said he didn’t do it Donny says politically they’re out to misconstrue it Reading secrets in the khazi there’s no better place to do it And Donny says he wants the job again
JK Rowling’s sorting hat Says you’re a boy and that is that Says some are dog and some are cat Some are ball and some are bat Some are tit and some are tat Some are standing, some are sat Some are swallowed, some are spat Some are gloss and some are matt Some are splash and some are splat Some you win and some you lose And it’s the hat that gets to choose
JK Rowling’s sorting hat Says you’re a boy and that is that Some are X and some are Y Some are wet and some are dry Some are low and some are high Some are sell and some are buy Some are sea and some are sky Some are girl and some are guy Some you win and some you lose And it’s the hat that gets to choose
Ten points to Gryffindor, hooray You’re a boy, now go away You’re a boy and that is that Says JK Rowling’s sorting hat
Samuel told them the words of the Lord But the words of the Lord just got ignored Samuel told them the words of the Lord A king you really can’t afford
Samuel said he’ll take away your sons Samuel said to fire his guns Samuel said this kind of thing Always happens when you have a king
Samuel told them the words of the Lord But the words of the Lord just got ignored Samuel told them the words of the Lord A king you really can’t afford
Samuel said he’ll take away your daughters For cooks and bakers and court supporters Samuel said this kind of thing Always happens when you have a king
Samuel said he’ll take away your fields Samuel said to make swords and shields Samuel said this kind of thing Always happens when you have a king
Samuel told them the words of the Lord But the words of the Lord just got ignored Samuel told them the words of the Lord A king you really can’t afford
Samuel said he’ll take away your vineyards With kings he said the wealth always flows inwards Samuel said this kind of thing Always happens when you have a king
Samuel said he’ll take away your sheep Samuel said service will come cheap Samuel said this kind of thing Always happens when you have a king
Samuel told them the words of the Lord But the words of the Lord just got ignored Samuel told them the words of the Lord A king you really can’t afford A king you really can’t afford And these are the words of the Lord
