Priti Patel

There’s a story to tell about Priti Patel
Who headed for the hills when her boss was unwell
And used the virus as opportunity
To free her work from scrutiny

Now she’s running away

There’s a story to tell about Priti Patel
Who failed to notice the major groundswell
Of opinion about the jobs fulfilled
By people that she called unskilled

Now she’s running away

We’re talking bus drivers, nurses, carers, shelf stackers
Refuse collectors, fruit pickers and packers
Teachers, cleaners, working on the Tube
Delivering the post and your parcels too
Low paid workers in often poor conditions
No room on this list for entitled politicians

There’s a story to tell about Priti Patel
Who knows full well ’bout NHS personnel
Everyone’s seen their value to the nation
But she won’t change her rules on immigration

That’s why she’s running away

We’re talking bus drivers, nurses, carers, shelf stackers
Refuse collectors, fruit pickers and packers
Teachers, cleaners, working on the Tube
Delivering the post and your parcels too
Low paid workers in often poor conditions
No room on this list for entitled politicians

There’s a story to tell about Priti Patel
Who headed for the hills when her boss was unwell
She’s fourth in line to be Tory Leader
But it’s been weeks since anyone has seen her

Guess she’s running away

The Government Pecking Order

While the prime minister is indisposed,
Here’s the government pecking order, disclosed:

It goes Johnson, Raab, Sunak and Patel.
So now we’ve got Raab, ‘cos Johnson is unwell.
And if Raab goes down, Sunak gets a spell.
And should Sunak lose his sense of smell,
Fourth on the list is Priti Patel

So whatever your position on the PM’s condition
(There’s little to applaud about his hospital admission
Save a salutary lesson about the virus’ transmission
And recognition of the position of the nurses and clinicians)
Michael Gove must ponder on his omission
From a list that doesn’t bode well:
Johnson, Raab, Sunak and Patel.

The Day the Penny Dropped

Doctors and nurses were queens and kings
The bins emptied by heroes
Post was delivered on angels’ wings
The day the penny dropped

Carers were worth their weight in gold
Teachers the new royalty
No school meal was undersold
The day the penny dropped

Kindness and respect were earned
On supermarket checkouts
And fake celebrity was spurned
The day the penny dropped

Three cheers for those who clean and build
And serve and feed and care
And no-one said the word “unskilled”
The day the penny dropped