Category: poetry

Napoleon wanted to buy them
And if it wasn’t for Elgin’s divorce
The Government might not have acquired them
At half the price, of course.
He told them that he had a firman
Although its veracity’s in doubt,
He said I’m telling you the Sultan
Said I could take all the marbles out.
He was going to keep them in private
If it wasn’t for his divorce
Byron thought he was a pirate
And the collection he did not endorse.
Elgin, known to his chums as Tom
The Government said quite legally
Robbed the marbles from the Parthenon
And they took them off his hands most eagerly.
(Though if it wasn’t for his divorce
They might not have had such recourse).
They put them in the British Museum
Which is where they still remain
And is where you’ve got to go to see ‘em
Although if you were to get the train
From Manchester, for example
It would be cheaper to get the plane
To Athens to see the marbles
No wonder the Greeks complain
That Elgin robbed the Parthenon
And Rishi won’t give them back
‘Cause he’s seen the headline with his name on
Rishi’s lost his marbles, let’s bring Boris back.
Yeah, Elgin robbed the marbles
And if it wasn’t for his divorce
Some of Ancient Greece’s marvels
Wouldn’t still be outsourced.