A cloth so beautiful, he said
I’ll weave for you, Sir Kier
That to the simple or unfit
Invisible ‘t will appear
These splendid clothes, I just must have
What do they cost, pray tell
To you it’s free, the Baron said
‘N’ I’ll dress your wife as well
He set up looms and set to work
Weaving night and day
And yet the golden thread they brought
He simply put away
Kier sent a spad to view the cloth
It’s gorgeous, he announced
Seeing nothing, but for fear
That he might be denounced
His Chief of Staff gave equal praise
Lest she be seen unfit
The most magnificent I’ve seen
Was all she dared submit
And so, Sir Kier came to view
This cloth beyond compare
The best design I ever wove
The Baron did declare
It surely is, Sir Kier agreed
Though there was nowt to see
Neither simple nor unfit
Could he be seen to be
So pleased he seemed that no one dared
To baulk or disagree
And the Baron was rewarded
With a Westminster Palace key
He sewed all night by candlelight
His scissors keen and steady
Cut unseen cloth, and as dawn broke
He cried, Kier’s suit is ready
Your trousers, he presented
Your jacket and your tie
So light, like wearing nothing
Oh, how splendid, the reply
Upon the people, he processed
How beautiful, they cooed
And not a soul dared suggest
Sir Kier was in the nude
Until a child’s voice, young Owen
The crowd all heard his call
Sir Kier, I declare is wearing
Not a thing at all
Listen to the child, they said
Sir Kier’s glamour gone
But there was nothing for it
So, he, naked, just marched on
Steve White & The Protest Family 