Jack Spratt lets the contract
His wife fulfils unseen
From Infosys to Downing Street
They lick the platter clean
Tag: politics
Refugees’ Luggage
They came with orders
And transporters
Souls with borders
Who are you we’re moving you
Off you go
Tentative roots in a new community
Ripped out fast with the impunity
Of cruelty to the refugee
Being Party policy
Who are you we’re moving you
Off you go
From one uncaring mean hotel
To the next uncaring mean hotel
No pleased as man with man to dwell
No fond farewell
Who are you we’re moving you
Off you go
What you can carry’s what you can bring
What’s left behind you know they’ll sling
Don’t you dare say a fucking thing
Who are you we’re moving you
Off you go
And all that’s left is the refugees’ luggage
That the hotel will throw in the bin
This is England this is right now
These are the fascists that you voted in
Full story here
Being a Princess Ain’t a Job
On your own is not a mob
Neat and tidy ain’t a slob
A perfect sphere is not a blob (or a glob)
Looking up is not a snob
Shortened Richard isn’t Bob
A sticking plaster ain’t a swab
A bread roll is not a cob*
A single pulse is not a throb
A fast ball is not a lob
Quietly spoken ain’t a gob
Me in it thou shalt not dob
The grill or oven ain’t a hob
The same suit’s king is not his nob
A giggle clearly ain’t a sob
Being a princess ain’t a job
*Yeah, I know
Sunak’s War
Red Sea rebels
Holding up shipping
That’s a war to get on board
Excitedly says Rishi
A blind eye for genocide
But woe betide the other side
When the flow of capital
Starts slipping
We need our containers
Our box fresh trainers
Our TV’s deep freeze David Bowie LP’s
We can’t afford for them
To go missing
So now we’re bombing Yemen
He says in self-defence
Because a trip around the Cape
Of Good Hope is an expense
That the City boys
Would rather be skipping
Welcome to his Falklands
His khaki election
The flag-wrapped PM
Of navigation protection
The enemy of far enough away
Insurrection
Happy is the bloody hand
That’s dripping
Wealthy People
Wealthy people: those with homes
Hairy people: those with combs
Royal people: those with thrones
Nosey people: those with drones
Music people: those with tones
Skinny people: those with bones
Traffic people: those with cones
Talking people: those with phones
Double people: those with clones
Gloomy people: those with moans (and groans)
Electric people: those with ohms
Library people: those with tomes
Garden people: those with gnomes
Hiking people: those with roams
Soil people: those with loams
Oyster people: those with zones*
Student people: those with loans
Rumsfeld people: those with knowns (and known unknowns)
Devon people: those with scones**
Sharper people: those with hones
Wiccan people: those with crones
Wealthy people: those with homes
*One for the Londoners
**Controversial, on so many levels
Arise, Sir Tim
From Orwell’s imaginary pub
To an invitation to join the club
Arise, Sir Tim
We’re sure you’re gonna fit right in
Arise, Sir Tim Wetherspoon
The cheap booze in warehouses tycoon
The Brexit beermat cartoon
The politics of public and saloon
Arise, Sir Tim
Whose pubs are never prim
Whose pint is always full to the brim
Whose views are uniformly grim
From Orwell’s imaginary pub
To the King’s chummy little club
Raise a glass to Empire and Crown
You were never going to turn one down
Michelle Mone
Michelle Mone
Doesn’t need a loan
Got two hundred mill
Sat on the MedPro throne
Now Michelle Mone’s
Cover’s blown
She lied to the press
As it’s now known
So, Michelle Mone
Will have to atone
‘Cause the PPE
Wasn’t well sewn
However, Michelle Mone
Wasn’t alone
But the WhatApp’s missing
Off Rishi’s phone
Rishi Sunak Gives Evidence to the Covid-19 Inquiry
“Constructive candour”, Rishi says
What on earth does he mean?
I’ll tell the whole truth, nothing but
So long as my hands are kept clean
He says he’s very sorry
For what happened to you
But as for what he’s sorry for
We’re left without a clue
Meet the new boss, backs the old boss
The pundits are surprised
That he blames all the science
“We were just badly advised”
“Constructive candour”, Rishi says
We know just what that means
Not the whole truth, nothing but
Just keeping his hands clean
Boris Johnson’s First Day of Evidence to the Covid-19 Inquiry
The dead can’t hear your apologies
The dead can’t see your sly smile
The dead can’t hear you blaming them
Like some oversized child on trail
The dead can’t see the messages
You accidentally lost
The dead can’t ask you questions
But the dead know just the cost
Of your lackadaisical attitude
Your laissez-faire approach
The meetings you weren’t bothered by
The rules with which you did not comply
The business-as-usual you deny
The herd immunity you tried to apply…
The dead can’t hear your apologies
But the survivor understands
There’s blood on your hands
The Unbelievable Susan Hall
They picked my pocket, Susan cried
Unfortunately, Susan lied
(Abetted in her little trick
By LBC and her chum, Nick)
She left her Oyster on the train
And now she’s got it back again
Her cash also came to no harm
But still she’s blaming Sadiq Khan
Steve White & The Protest Family 