Monsters

People are on the menu
People live in fear
The knives and forks are out
The monsters are here

People are on the menu
Snatch squads are at large
The knives and forks are out
When the monsters are in charge

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

Self-crowned and self- appointed
They’ll tell you they’re your choice
While all channels broadcast
His monster’s voice

Fear of the monster
Fear of the fork
Fear breeds acquiescence
And all that up the monster talk

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

Behold our loyalty they cry
Hoist up the monster flag
Eat the brown ones first they plead
Their patriotic brag

There’s monster work to fulfil
You better understand
The monster’s here by God’s will
And sat at his right hand

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

They’re gonna take the monsters’ share
And the monsters’ share keeps growing
And tell the people that it’s fair
It’s other people that are owing
They’re gonna take the monsters’ share
And the monsters’ share keeps growing
That’s why they’re eating people
‘Cos it’s people that are owing

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too

They’re eating people
They’re eating people
They’re eating people
And making the people wanna eat people too-oo-oo
Too-oo-oo
Too-oo-oo

The Flag

The news is vile, the comments worse
This septic isle is in reverse
They say there’s debt to reimburse
While rich folk rob the public purse

Their greed exceeds your hour of need
While leaders short in word and deed
Let the reins of power concede
To a frog-faced smoking man in tweed

And the trick they play they say the flag is yours
Flown at one world cup and two world wars
A tawdry cross daubed across any old white rag
I’ll never swear allegiance to the flag

They’ll have you pledge a sacred vow
They’ll take salutes, you scrape and bow
Forbid what they do not allow
So long as you do not ask how

They got there and you got here
With cigarettes and pints of beer
From school to stock market career
You know it’s clear, you know it’s fear

And the trick they play they say the flag is yours
Flown at one world cup and two world wars
A tawdry cross daubed across any old white rag
I’ll never swear allegiance to the flag

It ain’t our flag, it’s handed down
By billionaire, state and crown
It ain’t our flag for taking back
Our colours include brown and black
It ain’t our flag loaded with fear
It ain’t our flag, it won’t fly here

And the trick they play they say the flag is yours
Flown at one world cup and two world wars
A tawdry cross daubed across any old white rag
I’ll never swear allegiance to the flag

And the trick they play they say the flag is yours
Flown at one world cup and two world wars
A tawdry cross daubed across any old white rag
I’ll never swear allegiance to the flag

Last Night of the Proms

“Patriotic songs matter” said the petition.
It’s this morning’s All Lives Matter edition.
Even if you don’t know all the words
And are der-der-der-ing by the second verse
Your life will be somehow diminished
If the Beeb change the way that The Proms are finished.

“They’re simply rousing British songs”
Not a catalogue of colonialism’s wrongs
Which are many, and the foundation
Of much of the wealth of this nation.
But we don’t want to talk about that
While we’re waving our plastic union jack.

Derek and the Germans

Derek’s slagging off the Germans
Derek’s bursting with national pride
He doesn’t want us to be the worst ‘uns
He doesn’t want to count how many died

Derek’s slagging off the Germans
Derek reckons they’re due a second wave
He’s a flags and statues kinda person
With a blind eye for the failing UK

Derek’s slagging off the Germans
It’s patriotic, he explains
It’s your country of birth that determines
Who you support come what may

Derek’s slagging off the Germans
And women too by using that phrase
It’s another of Derek’s little sermons
And Angela’s getting it both ways

And I don’t suppose Derek will ever see
A pragmatic centrist such as she
Is exactly the politician that he craves
If he could only see past the flag he waves

Derek’s slagging off the Germans
Derek voted conservative
Derek’s vote helped determine
The pandemic mess that we’re now in