Tag: donald trump

Trick Or Treat?

Weave the finest golden thread
Into a basket on your head
While spray tan panda eyes
Stare out from your disguise

Purse your lips into a bow
Like a German umlaut O
And tell them that it’s beautiful
That it’s indisputable

Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Trick or treat?

And if that ain’t enough to scare ‘em
A masked militia might
Set upon anyone
Who isn’t quite white

Tear down, destroy and pillage
To remake in your image
Oh, the trick is sweet
Demand a Nobel treat

Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Trick or treat?

Light your pumpkin lanterns
Stock up on your sweets
The monster’s coming
Trick or treat?

Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Trick or treat?
Trick or treat?

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(They’re Eating The) Swans

They’re eating the swans says Derek
They’re eating the swans in the Royal Park
Shut up Derek says Margaret
Stop being so daft

I heard it this morning on LBC
Where nothing is true so anything could be
In Clacton, it’s Derek’s take
That fake news is real, and real news is fake

When the MP shares a racist trope
The MP’s that kinda racist bloke
An MP who shares a racist hoax
Then covers his tracks with a just misspoke

Tropes to cover his tracks
Avoiding questions about his tax
And callers on the phone
Asking whose money paid for his Clacton home

When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
And Nigel is the type of bloke
Who likes to share a racist trope
As you can see

Meanwhile across the pond
The stories correspond
They’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats
Are Donny’s version of the facts

Dropping racist bombs
Makes you wonder where Nigel gets it from
A taxi driver he says
Is where he gets his facts these days

When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
And Nigel is the type of bloke
Who likes to share a racist trope
As you can see

They’re bringing in shariah law, says Derek
I heard it on LBC
Nigel’s taxi driver says so
And who am I to disagree

They’re eating the swans says Derek
It’s our MP’s hot take
When nothing is true in Clacton
Fake news is real and real news is fake

When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
And Nigel is the type of bloke
Who likes to share a racist trope
As you can see

When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be
When nothing is true, anything could be…..

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A Second State Visit

The flags are out for the predators
The flags are out for the sex pests
From Tommy’s long list of abusers
To Epstein’s special guest

The flags are out for the Rapist-in-Chief
Meet the King, wave to the crowd
The flags are out for the predators
Don’t it make you fuckin’ proud

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The American Dream

He wears his shoes way too big
And tells the most tremendous lies
He’s got magic healing ears
And two blind eyes for genocide

His allies are cosplay fascists
But the real deal is him
If you care to disagree
The boots come marching in

He’ll tell you that it’s beautiful
He’ll even tell you it’s a gift
All hail forty-seven
All hail President Grift

They spit, we hit
The words of President Unfit
He sent the army in to wash away their sins
And this is how it all begins

Trained by the sales team and TV
Rule by executive decree
The American dream, the American scream
Dissent suppressed live on your screen

He’ll tell you that it’s beautiful
He’ll even tell you it’s a gift
All hail forty-seven
All hail President Grift

The American dream is a crypto scheme
The American dream is a crypto scheme
A meme coin grifting new regime
The American Dream is a crypto scheme

The American dream is a crypto scheme
The American dream is a crypto scheme
While bombers fly in Middle Eastern skies
The American dream is a crypto scheme

He’ll tell you that it’s beautiful
He’ll even tell you it’s a gift
All hail forty-seven
All hail President Grift

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Sir Kier is Late For the War

Dear Donny, I’m so sorry I was late
I thought we had two weeks to get the message straight
You know that’s what the airbases are there for, mate
When Ronnie bombed the Libyans, we didn’t hesitate

I’ve got Lammy standing ready with a statement to make
He knows there’s a special relationship at stake
And if there’s war to be made, then war we shall make
I could do with some ban-the-burqa action to take

So, let me know Donny, if you’re gonna bomb some more
I wanna be like Margaret and Tony before
Not getting invited would leave me pretty sore
Dear Donny, I’m sorry I was late for the war

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Tacos

Old Man Trump, like a bad cartoon
Spittin’ in the situation Room
Said Hey Benny I have a plan
Let’s go ahead and bomb Iran

Let’s bomb Iran
Let’s bomb Iran

While Huckabee cheered and Huckabee cried
God, he said, is surely on your side
Like he told George, Invade Iraq
Old Man Trump, God’s got your back

God’s got his back
God’s got his back

Then Trump, he said, maybe I will
I do wish the Ayatollah ill
And I know my mouth just wrote a cheque
But I won’t decide ‘til the very last sec

The very last sec
The very last sec

And the whole world prayed for tacos
The whole world prayed for tacos
The whole world prayed for tacos
On the eve of World War Three

He said he’d bring peace to Ukraine
But Old Man Trump chickened out again
Sayin’ Well it really ain’t so bad
And I don’t wanna upset Vlad

Don’t wanna upset Vlad
Don’t wanna upset Vlad

He was gonna wipe Afghan off the face
And fire Little Rocket Man into space
But fire and fury never occurred
Thank God for Donny’s no-good word

His no-good word
His no-good word

And the whole world prayed for tacos
The whole world prayed for tacos
The whole world prayed for tacos
On the eve of World War Three
And the whole world prayed for tacos
The whole world prayed for tacos
The whole world prayed for tacos
On the eve of World War Three
The eve of World War Three
The eve of World War Three

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Big Beautiful Bill

They call him Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
On his way
To Capitol Hill

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
He ain’t gonna help you
When you ill

He’ll steal from the poor
To give to the rich
Big, beautiful Bill’s
A Robin Hood switch

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
He’ll borrow money
Like no one else will

For every dollar
He’ll borrow half more
Big, beautiful Bill’s
Debt’s outa the door

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill

Bill liked a girl
Her name was Liz
Her kinda thinkin’
Was a lot like his

She borrowed money
Until it went wrong
Like Bill she won’t listen
To the words of this song

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill

They call him Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
He ain’t gonna help you
When you fall ill

He’ll steal from the poor
To give to the rich
Big, beautiful Bill’s
A Robin Hood switch

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill

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The New Pharaohs of the West

He wears his shoes way too big
And tells the most tremendous lies
He’s got magic healing ears
And blind eyes to genocide

He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West
He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West

The illegal alien with a billion bucks
High on ket., tweets a curse
Dirty Donny was in bed with Jeff
In the file and so much worse

He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West
He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West

Two hundred and eighty cubits high
And build it just as wide
Build it on the bones of Palestinians
Build it in my new Gaza seaside

Donny’s living the American dream
He’s lived it since he was eighteen
And his father gave him his first million dollars

He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West
He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West

Two hundred and eighty cubits high
And build it just as wide
Build it on the bones of Palestinians
Build it in my new Gaza seaside

He was born in an emerald mine
In the South African sunshine
He’s cool with apartheid
Cool with conspiracy

He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West
He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West

Two hundred and eighty cubits high
And build it just as wide
Build it on the bones of Palestinians
Build it in my new Gaza seaside
Build it on the bones of Palestinians
Build it in my new Gaza seaside

The new pharaohs of the West
The new pharaohs of the West
The new pharaohs of the West
The new pharaohs of the West

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A Letter From The King

Does it smell nice?
A letter from the king
Of scented ink, that kind of thing
Mellifluous craft and flowery word
Meticulously well-observed

Or does it smell of dusty palaces and old men
Tainted by the mouldering stench of then
Sparse script spiked with iron gall
As if the king should have to write at all

How tightly clenched, the royal jaw
How white-knuckled, the royal paw
Nib mashed to page, the words appear
One so looks forward to your second visit here

Behold, for sure, a regal thing
But what’s that smell?
A letter from the king

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A Love Letter From Nigel Farage To Donald Trump

I always tell people that you are extraordinary
I bask in the glow of your golden age
Your upbeat populism, it’s gonna be beautiful
I’m the wind beneath the wings of your global stage

Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
I love you though you can be cruel and unkind
Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
Please don’t leave me behind

Remember how we felt in 2016
The laughs that we had outside the golden door
Fooling the world that we were anti-establishment
Planning all the riches that the power could score

Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
I love you though you can be cruel and unkind
Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
Please don’t leave me behind

I always tell people to take you seriously
Even if literally can be a bit much
I’m sorry we disagree about Zelensky
Oh Donny, Tommy doesn’t have your golden touch

Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
I love you though you can be cruel and unkind
Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
Please don’t leave me behind

I know he has a chainsaw and his own space rocket
I know he bought Twitter and rid it of blue
But his kid picked his nose in The Oval Office
And he could never love you the way that I do

Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
I love you though you can be cruel and unkind
Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
Please don’t leave me behind

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