Nasty Norris from the Home Office
Metal detector in hand
Takes jewellery from refugees
At the border to this green and pleasant land
With their human rights in his sights
He claims they cost a billion pounds
His twenty year plan to send them back
Just as grim as it sounds
Dark forces stirring up anger
Prompt his boss’s idea
But with Nasty Norris at The Home Office
The dark forces are here
Rachel likes astronomy, looking at the stars
Imagining that she can see Jupiter and Mars
In the vast expanse of space, she can contemplate her soul
But in the New Austerity Inn
There’s just a black hole
So, Rachel put the price of the beer up
Rachel put a penny on a pint of ale
Rachel put the price of the beer up
But in the New Austerity Inn
It tastes just as stale
Free beer tomorrow says the sign behind the bar
But today, no brandy, no cigar
You can only have what you can afford
And in the New Austerity Inn
The price has soared
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
It doesn’t matter that she’s already poured it
You said you’d find another pub, but Rachel ignored it
Saying you can’t have it if you can’t afford it
Rachel put the price of the beer up
Rachel put a penny on a pint of ale
Rachel put the price of the beer up
But in the New Austerity Inn
It tastes just as stale
It’s licensee responsible, the alehouse of the possible
This is what it’s like, she says, when grown-ups run the pub
But if the beer is undrinkable, they’ll drink the unthinkable
In the Old Flag up the road, with Nigel and his club
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
It doesn’t matter that she’s already poured it
You said you’d find another pub, but Rachel ignored it
Saying you can’t have it if you can’t afford it
Rachel put the price of the beer up
Rachel put a penny on a pint of ale
Rachel put the price of the beer up
But in the New Austerity Inn
It tastes just as stale
The sign on the door says a nice woman
And a grumpy old man live here
Around the back a ten foot fence surrounds a garden
In which you sense that they may soon appear
By a shiny new flagpole and an even newer flag
Still flying the creases from the bag
This is our kingdom
This is our green and pleasant land
This is our place in the world
But we don’t understand
How all the money that we spend on being English
Doesn’t make being English very grand
It’s not racist, says the grumpy old man
But the basis for his racism is fear
When everything is getting worse and it’s hard to understand
Just blame them lot coming over here
With a shiny new flagpole and an even newer flag
Still flying the creases from the bag
This is our kingdom
Says the grumpy old man
This is our place in the world
But we don’t understand
How all the money that we spend on being English
Doesn’t make being English very grand
The people round here, says the nice woman
Used to be quite happy with their lot
There were factories and shops and their kids got better jobs
They worked hard for everything they got
Now they’ve got a shiny flagpole and an even newer flag
Still flying the creases from the bag
This is our kingdom
This is our green and pleasant land
This is our place in the world
And we’d share it if we can
But all the money that we spend on being English
Doesn’t make being English very grand
At Toad Hall a frog-faced fascist lights a cigarette
Pours a glass of Chablis with a grin
As he sleeps, his assets grow and grow
He owns the houses that other folk live in
He sells them shiny flagpoles and even newer flags
Still flying the creases from their bags
This is his kingdom
This is his green and pleasant land
This is his place in the world
And he fully understands
How all the money that they spend on being English
Makes his England really rather grand
This is our kingdom
This is our green and pleasant land
This is our world to share
And we need to understand
That the money that we spend on being English
Can make a world for all of us that’s grand
No longer being a prince ain’t justice
The When-Willy-Is-King hints ain’t justice
Not being the Duke of York ain’t justice
All the media talk ain’t justice
(Not being the Earl of Inverness
Does anyone care less?)
Exile to Sandringham ain’t justice
Surnamed Mountbatten ain’t justice
Not Baron Killyleagh ain’t justice
How long the delay on justice?
They’re just protecting the brand
Letting you think he’s damned
But beyond the pale
Still ain’t in jail
Happy hour seems like a long time ago
Now it turns out that Rachel didn’t have a licence to run the New Austerity Inn
Don’t worry said the Big Boss from the Brewery
We all make mistakes
And while the beer is stale
and the punters are depressed
they all come in for a warm-up
this time of year
What they gonna do?
Go to the ‘Spoons?
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day another swim in you guessed it
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day in the shit
(Log on)
Embery says there’s too many blacks on TV
Pochin Reform MP says I agree
Little Tommy Tel Aviv Telegrams in
Benny’s Luton teddy with the cocaine grin
Luton, Durham, Epping, Stoke
Things go better with Nigel’s coke
Need a toke to supercharge your anti-woke
Things go better with Nigel’s coke
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day another swim in you guessed it
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day in the shit
Race is where the money wants you to go
Race is where they say the blame is—oh
Race is where the money wants you to go
The money made the racism don’t you know
‘Cos you don’t go to war with your equals
You go to war with the not-like-you
You don’t go to war with your equals
That’s why they’re feeding you on Elon’s stew
(Elon’s racist stew—fuck you)
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day another swim in you guessed it
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day in the shit
In Epping Adam says that paedos make him ill
Only the ones with brown faces still
Not the hundreds of white ones up the hill
Adam doesn’t care he’s a billionaire’s shill
Adam’s got a TV slot he needs to fill
Adam’s got a mission that he needs to fulfil
Adam doesn’t care he’s a billionaire’s shill
Adam’s making bitcoin off the red pill
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day another swim in you guessed it
Another day another wade in the cesspit
Another day in the shit
Flags or community you choose
A seat on the bus or Great Replacement News
You can be a racist or you can refuse
A swim in the cesspit
A wade in you guessed it
Another day in the shit
Weave the finest golden thread
Into a basket on your head
While spray tan panda eyes
Stare out from your disguise
Purse your lips into a bow
Like a German umlaut O
And tell them that it’s beautiful
That it’s indisputable
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Trick or treat?
And if that ain’t enough to scare ‘em
A masked militia might
Set upon anyone
Who isn’t quite white
Tear down, destroy and pillage
To remake in your image
Oh, the trick is sweet
Demand a Nobel treat
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Trick or treat?
Light your pumpkin lanterns
Stock up on your sweets
The monster’s coming
Trick or treat?
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Knock, knock, America
Trick or treat?
Trick or treat?
Andrew, so-called prince
Publicly funded paedophile of this parish
Earl of Inverness
Erstwhile passenger aboard the Lolita Express
Refuses to confess
Shelled out twelve million nonetheless
Of public money, at a guess
Is still the Duke of York, unless
Parliament decides otherwise
Which would come as some surprise
Given its current tenants
So, he maintains the dukedom in his clutch
Just offers to not be known as such
Somehow by way of penance
Andrew, so-called prince
Publicly funded paedophile of this parish
His sweatless bluff now failed
His lies to Emily unveiled
Thought eighth in line would just prevail
But to no avail
Prepares for life beyond the pale
Should be in jail
Eighty years ago
My grandad lived in Walthamstow
He saw the queue for fish and chips
Get blown to bits
By a bomb in World War Two
Hated fascists, like you do
Moved to Clacton in ‘82
Derek lives in his house now
Flies the flag, English and proud
Remembers the war like yesterday
‘Though he weren’t born ‘til ‘53
He left Walthamstow in ‘92
And now he votes for fascists
Like you do
This land of the free, land of opportunity
This land of decree and presidential immunity
This land of MAGA suck-it-up
And everybody’s got a gun
This land of the free, this land of the brave
This land where rich folk go to misbehave
This land of tariffs
And society coming undone
This land ain’t your land, this land is their land
Where the borders are closed and dissent is banned
And the boots are on the ground
Like fascism one-oh-one
This America’s broke and I’d like to return it
They said they’d make it great, but they just tried to burn it
Down
And this Britain ain’t great either
It’s just trickle down town
Oh, say can you see by the dawn’s early light
A truck load of ICE agents coming into sight
Chasing people of colour
Wearing masks and shooting guns
Oh, say can you see by Jeffrey’s list
That power and abuse always coexist
And the land of the free
Is run by fortunate sons
This America’s broke and I’d like to return it
They said they’d make it great, but they just tried to burn it
Down
And this Britain ain’t great either
It’s just trickle down town
The star-spangled banner’s looking pretty grubby
The star-spangled banner’s looking for the money
Grifted away from sea to shining sea
The star-spangled banner’s looking pretty grim
When everything hangs on a presidential whim
To grift it away from sea to shining sea
This America’s broke and I’d like to return it
They said they’d make it great, but they just tried to burn it
Down
And this Britain ain’t great either
It’s just trickle down town
This America’s broke and I’d like to return it
They said they’d make it great, but they just tried to burn it
Down
And this Britain ain’t great either
It’s just trickle down town
Steve White & The Protest Family 