Rwanda Bound

His dad was Greek
His mum Palestinian
Born in Turkey
He grew up a Syrian

He’s a man of fighting age

He’s handy with a sword
He’s on a small boat
Coming over here
Red cross white coat

He’s a man of fighting age

But it’s alright, it’s okay
He’s leaving the country on the first plane

He law says it’s safe and sound
Just needs assent of the crown
He’s a man of fighting age
St George is Rwanda-bound

They stuck him on a barge
In Portland harbour
Lobbying hard
For his departure

He’s a man of fighting age

A soldier
In a foreign army
We’re not racist
To say this are we

He’s a man of fighting age

But it’s alright, it’s okay
He’s leaving the country on the first plane

He law says it’s safe and sound
Just needs assent of the crown
He’s a man of fighting age
St George is Rwanda-bound

The locals don’t like
Dragon slaying
Don’t like
What the dragon farmer’s paying

He’s a man of fighting age

A catholic country
This one ain’t
We ain’t the type
To venerate a saint

He’s a man of fighting age

But it’s alright, it’s okay
He’s leaving the country on the first plane

He law says it’s safe and sound
Just needing assent of the crown
He’s a man of fighting age
St George is Rwanda-bound

45 Days to Save the Cheese

The Queen said pace yourself
But in the end she chased herself
Out of office fast as lettuce could rot
It’s so unfair she died
And getting groceries supplied
Was so much harder with the new job that she’d got

The Downing Street fleas
Would’ve tanked Air BnB’s
Johnson’s dog must’ve had quite a lot
And there was nobody there
To make appointments for her hair
To help her stop it from getting in a knot

She said that it was worse
The strings on the public purse
Despite her own ten years in the slot
And took no interest in the lives
Of presidents’ wives
There’s only so much info you can swot

When she had her say
She made Friday budget day
And gave her enemies the whole weekend to plot
Like a game of Tetris
She inevitably let this
Keep her up before removing Kwasi’s spot

And Hunt did not pick up
When she tried to ring him up
Because her number was one that he’d forgot
And now she’s got a book out
Better keep a look out
A bestseller I suspect that it is not

Five a Day

Anger, frustration, alienation
Disillusionment, pain
Anger, frustration, alienation
Disillusionment, pain
Anger, frustration, alienation
Disillusionment, pain
They’re gonna make sure that you get your five a day

Five a day
Five a day
Five a day

Five a day – they’ll always find a way to make you pay
Five a day – while the rich folk always get their way
Five a day – if there’s a plan for this, let’s get it underway
It’s time to do something about the five a day

Five a day
Five a day
Five a day

Anger, frustration, alienation
Disillusionment, pain
Anger, frustration, alienation
Disillusionment, pain
Anger, frustration, alienation
Disillusionment, pain
They’re gonna make sure that you get your five a day

Five a day
Five a day
Five a day

Anger is the power that you need to make a change
Frustration is the reason that you’re feeling this way
Alienation – it’s why we’re all here
Disillusionment – well, that’s pretty clear
Pain – it’s time to make the pain go away
Pain – it’s time to make the pain go away
Pain – it’s time to make the pain go away
It’s time to do something about the five a day

Five a day
Five a day
Five a day

Five a day – they’ll always find a way to make you pay
Five a day – while the rich folk always get their way
Five a day – if there’s a plan for this, let’s get it underway
It’s time to do something about the five a day

It’s time to do something about the five a day

Five a day

Put Up Shut Up Britain Part Six

Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
To Put Up Shut Up Britain
To Put Up Shut Up Britain
To Put Up Shut Up Britain

They’re dying on trolleys, dying in chairs
Dying in corridors like nobody cares
And still we sing God bless
God bless the NHS
And still we sing God bless
God bless the NHS
‘Cause when they’ve taken that away
There’s really nothing left

Welcome…

Sooner or later it’s someone you know
Soon you’re as low as you can go
Your house, your street, your town
They’re burning it down
Your house, your street, your town
They’re burning it down
Burn it down

Welcome…

How do we measure a person by their worth
When it’s never been easier to be a TERF
And the only thing that power’s used for
Is persecuting a culture war
While protest singers from sea
To shining sea
Are sharpening their pencils
Getting ready for World War Three

Welcome…

Willy’s sending dick pics, getting into conflicts
Selling out his mates to cover up his clicks
But nothing’s bad enough to get him fired
His loyalty is all that is required
And here’s a map of the shit in your river
Here’s a map of the sewage outflow
Here’s where the shit is delivered
Here’s where your opinion can go

Welcome…

Put your conscience aside, we’re still arming genocide
Blind-eyed to the thousands who died
Blind-eyed to the thousands who died
Blind eyes for the people that die
And welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Where the drones get built and the profits hidden
Get off the statue, get on the plane
And don’t you dare ever complain

Welcome…

Welcome…

Al-Rashid Road – a villanelle

In the land where Goliath once strode
With the whine of a drone overhead
There’s an air strike on Al-Rashid Road

The targeted vehicles explode
And seven aid workers lie dead
In the land where Goliath once strode

In soft-skinned transport they rode
Too easy for missiles to shred
There’s an air strike on Al-Rashid Road

Where the lifeblood of charity flowed
Good Samaritans now fear to tread
In the land where Goliath once strode

With shelling the alms they erode
Denying the starving their bread
There’s an air strike on Al-Rashid Road

A ceasefire now surely is owed
As blood-soaked the path lays ahead
In the land where Goliath once strode
There’s an air strike on Al-Rashid Road

Eating People

When the economy won’t grow
And there’s nowhere else to go
It’s not considered evil
For the rich to just eat people

They don’t want to eat you up
But over runneth their cup
And when it’s this unequal
The rich will just eat people

They can’t live in all the houses
But they can own all the houses
Which turns out to be legal
When the rich start eating people

And when the rich start eating people
Some of them will be quite gleeful
Saying it’s a rising tide
We’re just waiting for our ride

Which of course will never come
Because when all’s said and done
It’s simply medieval
For the rich to just eat people

Put Up Shut Up Britain (Part Five)

In solidarity with our comrades at the NEU campaigning against agencies offshoring millions of pounds in profit made in the supply teacher ‘market’. With thanks to Reel News for the film.

It takes a village to raise a child
But an agency to profit
A government to turn a blind eye
A trade union to stop it
‘Cause the world keeps turning on education
And you’d think an educated nation
Wouldn’t settle for an NQT
Who comes with a hefty fee

It takes a village to raise a child
But an agency to profit
Like some kinda nightmare-ish
Capitalist project
Where the money that’s supposed to circle
Goes in a straight line instead
From agency to shell company
To hedge fund, virtually tax-free

Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain

It takes a village to raise a child
But an agency to profit
In a system that prefers your dough
In a rich man’s pocket
While the Minister, dear God
Declares she’s doing a “fucking good job”
A good job fucking with it, more like
No wonder the teachers go on strike

Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain

It takes a village to raise a child
But Teaching Personnel to profit
A subsidiary of Hood TopCo
Whose dividend’s set to rocket
And Simply Ed’s at it too
A million quid off me and you
To turn a temp’ry teacher
Into shareholder value

Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain

It takes a village to raise a child
But an agency to profit
By managing supply
It’s time we made ‘em stop it

Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain

Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain
Welcome to Put Up Shut Up Britain

They All Sent Flowers

They all sent flowers
And all the flowers died
And I understood flowers
For the very first time
A gift of something dying
Gently saying this is normal
We’re all beautiful but fleeting
And this is how it goes

It’s how it goes
This is how it goes
It’s how it goes
This is how it goes

They all sent roses
And all the roses died
Their petals dropping quietly
One at a time
We watched the petals falling
Gently saying this is normal
We’re all beautiful but fleeting
And this is how it goes

It’s how it goes
This is how it goes
It’s how it goes
This is how it goes

They all sent lilies
And all the lilies died
But the scent of the lilies
Stayed around for a while
A gift of something dying
Leaving echoes this is normal
We’re all beautiful but fleeting
And this is how it goes

It’s how it goes
This is how it goes
It’s how it goes
This is how it goes
It’s how it goes
This is how it goes
It’s how it goes
This is how it goes

They all sent flowers
And all the flowers died
Some faded far too quickly
Some others took their time
A gift of something dying
Gently saying this is normal
We’re all beautiful but fleeting
And this is how it goes

It’s how it goes
This is how it goes
It’s how it goes
This is how it goes
It’s how it goes
This is how it goes
It’s how it goes
This is how it goes

Women 0-1 Oh, East London

Not my bus
Not my people
Oh, East London
Is not for me

Stock sexism
From stocky sexists
Raucous drunks
Bray look at me

Oh, it’s your day
A clap hooray
The boys’ derisive
Repartee

Tits, fanny and Orient’s
Big day out
Goes back in time
Oh, referee!

Non-Binary

Everybody’s got
Two eyes, two ears, two hands, two feet
That’s why some think that binary is right
Well, it might be alright for George Galloway
But people ain’t as simple as night or day
And we’re all on a spectrum like light
Electro-magnetic radiation
It’s true we’re all members of a rainbow nation
And it ain’t as simple as identification
Because everybody has a right
Not necessarily to be who they want to be
Or I’d be Che Guevara in a racing car
Or at the very least a massive rock ‘n’ roll star
But we all deserve to burn bright
And everybody has a right
To be who they are