They’re rolling out the tanks For the trooping of Trump’s colours While the army train their guns on the workers of L.A. And he holds Benny’s hand While he drops bombs on Iranians And starves Palestinians I pray for rain on his parade
Of course there was no funding for transgender mice, it was for transgenic mice, but what does the truth matter when there’s culture wars to be fought. Meanwhile in Springfield, Ohio…
Cats, dogs, transgender mice Cats, dogs, transgender mice Cats, dogs, transgender mice And the big ginger cat ain’t very nice
The cats say a mouse born with a penis That mouse can never be a Venus
While the dogs say a mouse born under the wrong star Has the right to be the mouse that they really are
Cats, dogs, transgender mice Cats, dogs, transgender mice Cats, dogs, transgender mice And the big ginger cat ain’t very nice
In Springfield, they’re eating the cats
The cats won’t share their litter tray With a mouse who might not go that way
The dogs are cool, there’s nothing amiss With a mouse who might just need to take a piss
Cats, dogs, transgender mice Cats, dogs, transgender mice Cats, dogs, transgender mice And the big ginger cat ain’t very nice
In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs
The cats are like, eight million dollars Unlimited catnip and diamante collars
The dogs are like, eight million bucks, but hey We’d have buried it in the garden anyway
Cats, dogs, transgender mice Cats, dogs, transgender mice Cats, dogs, transgender mice And the big ginger cat ain’t very nice
In Springfield, nobody eats the mice
Cats, dogs, transgender mice Cats, dogs, transgender mice Cats, dogs, transgender mice And the big ginger cat ain’t very nice
This pub is on a war footing Rachel says We’re gonna have to stand our ground The pub up west has got a new guvnor He’s throwing his weight around
So happy hour is over In the New Austerity Inn If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less If you’ve got less you’re gonna get less
This pub is on a war footing Rachel says We’re gonna have to stand our ground The pub in the east is expanding Threatening all around
So happy hour is over In the New Austerity Inn If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less
In the New Austerity Inn In the New Austerity Inn In the New Austerity Inn In the New Austerity Inn
This pub is on a war footing Rachel says But we’re still told we need to grow That one on the house that you take for granted Is gonna have to go
So happy hour is over In the New Austerity Inn If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less I’ve you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less
In the New Austerity Inn In the New Austerity Inn In the New Austerity Inn In the New Austerity Inn
So happy hour is over In the New Austerity Inn If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less I’ve you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less
In the New Austerity Inn In the New Austerity Inn In the New Austerity Inn In the New Austerity Inn
Imagine getting richer while the poor are still poor Imagine having everything and still wanting more Imagine all the hurt and still nobody cares That’s why it’s you and me against the billionaires
Imagine all the emeralds, your own spaceship Shooting off to Mars on a space day trip Imagine if they stayed, what difference would it make When we do all the give, and they do all the take
The art of the deal says that beggars can’t be choosers The art of the deal says that winners need their losers The way we play is that everybody shares That’s why it’s you and me against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires You and me, against the billionaires You and me, against the billionaires You and me, against the billionaires
Imagine using wars to just make more money Imagine no just cause, just bread and honey Imagine how little the big boy cares That’s why it’s you and me against the billionaires
The art of the deal says that beggars can’t be choosers The art of the deal says that winners need their losers The way we play is that everybody shares That’s why it’s you and me against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires You and me, against the billionaires You and me, against the billionaires You and me, against the billionaires
Mind the gap, the cats getting fatter Mind the cap, the one that says MAGA Mind the trap that says all lives matter It’s you and me against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires You and me, against the billionaires You and me, against the billionaires You and me, against the billionaires You and me, against the billionaires You and me, against the billionaires You and me, against the billionaires You and me, against the billionaires
47 goes to get it right 47 goes and no end in sight 47 goes to get it right They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night
It’s Trump-tastic, policy elastic What he said yesterday Ain’t what he’s gonna say today Like what’s today’s favourite word? What’s today’s favourite steaming turd? It’s tariffs, tariff-tastic Tariffs on cheap Chinese plastic China, nowhere finer For your cheap Chinese plastic MAGA crap Your cheap Chinese plastic MAGA hat Meanwhile here’s a pile for the EU Meanwhile here’s a pile for the UK too
47 goes to get it right 47 goes and no end in sight 47 goes to get it right They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night
Not withstanding Trump’s grandstanding Trump’s expanding the MAGA empire Trump’s expanding the MAGA desire While there’s still no water For the L.A. fire California burns While The President piddles California burns While The President tiddles He won’t fill a bucket, he won’t fill a pail But he’ll let the insurrectionists out of jail
47 goes to get it right 47 goes and no end in sight 47 goes to get it right They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night
Unpatriotic patriots, keepers of the oath Gimme a conspiracy, hell, give me both A tin foil hat and an M-16 A beer belly, and dirty magazine Yeah, gimme a conspiracy, hell, give me both The KKK and the keepers of the oath Mr. President’s own private militia While a wide-brimmed hat won’t even let him kiss her He’s eyeing up Canada and Panama Where he says their economic interests are He’s eyeing up Mexico and Greenland too Like a spray-tanned Roman emperor might do
47 goes to get it right 47 goes and no end in sight 47 goes to get it right They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night
It’s Trump-tastic, bombastic Authoritarian, bordering barbarian Wants to help Benny level Palestine A dictator mate who ain’t benign It’s Trump-tastic, it ain’t cute His mates chucking up a Nazi salute If you were looking for the fascists, my dear Look no further, the fascists are here
47 goes to get it right 47 goes and no end in sight 47 goes to get it right They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night 47 goes to get it right 47 goes and no end in sight 47 goes to get it right They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night
Elon is a fascist, who knew? Does that mean that Donald is a fascist too?
Well, let’s count the ways, starting at one Does he keep the company of fascist chums? That’s a given, what about two? Does he blame people who don’t look like me and you? Absolutely! The enemy Simultaneously powerful and weak, at three
At four, the opposition Who he keeps threatening to put in prison
A messianic hero, at five An assassin’s bullet and he’s still alive
Okay, but what about six? Does Donald have any other fascist tricks? Plenty, like the cult of tradition Typical of a man in his position
Six? Okay, now is that all you’ve got? At seven his obsession that there’s some kind of plot You must remember QAnon and all that jazz Conspiracies like every good fascist has
At eight, action, for action’s sake “It’s gonna be beautiful”, is Donald’s take With macho, macho weapons at any excuse He already said he’s gonna let all hell break loose If another nation doesn’t tow the line Which, if I count correctly, brings us up to nine
Authoritarian, that’s in at ten At eleven, gender limited to women and men Twelve, there’s no sitting on the fence Anyone not for him is counted as against Thirteen? Well, he’s a populist And fourteen is the end of Umberto’s list
Is Donald a fascist? Let’s count the ways Brace yourselves people for dark, dark days
Oh, how different, if we had won the war! There’d be no Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure We’d all have homes for heroes, provided by the state Free healthcare at point of need, without having to wait Refuge for the needy and the poor Oh, how different, if we had won the war!
Oh, how different, if we had won the war! We’d want for nowt, and never need for more One nation under God Even if you think that’s odd And everybody welcome at our shore Oh, how different, if we had won the war!
Oh, how different, if we had won the war! Working would never be a chore We’d all know fair is fair And millionaires would pay their share There’d be no Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure Oh, how different, if we had won the war!
I heard The Devil speaking in a pub by the sea I heard The devil speaking on the BBC I heard The Devil speaking every day on Fox News I heard The Devil say he’s got a long list of things to do (So hold fast)
I saw The Devil sliding into the house I saw The Devil striding into the house I heard The Devil speaking, he was loud and proud I saw The Devil speaking, he drew a helluva crowd (So hold fast)
The greatest trick he Devil ever pulled The greatest trick that had us all fooled The greatest trick said we don’t believe And we all blamed each other for his devilry (So hold fast)
I saw a queue of rich men, all on bended knee I saw a queue of rich men, from Africa to NYC There to pledge allegiance, hey The Devil and me There to pledge allegiance, what can The Devil do for me? (Better hold fast)
I heard The Devil play guitar from Nashville Tennessee I heard The Devil launching his own currency I heard that there’s abuse for which the Devil is liable I heard The Devil publishes his own version of the Bible (So hold fast)
The greatest trick…
I heard The Devil saying all hell will break loose Now that The Devil is free from the calaboose I heard The Devil saying “fight, fight, fight” I heard The Devil saying that mortals shouldn’t have rights (So hold fast)
Let’s hear it for the billionaires Let’s hear it for the B-I-L, L-I-O-N Let’s hear it for the billionaires Let’s hear it for the planet’s wealthiest men Let’s hear it for the billionaires Without whom we’d all be better off Let’s hear it for the billionaires Let’s tell them to all fuck off
Elon went to school with an emerald in his pocket Elon told the world he built his own space rocket Now Donald is the president, Elon is the heir ‘Cos Elon is a billionaire
Let’s hear it…
Donald got elected and that made us sad The most celebrated rapist the US ever had But they’re dropping all the charges and saying fair’s fair ‘Cos Donald is a billionaire
Let’s hear it…
Nigel sucks up to the President’s men ‘Cos Nigel wishes he was one of them A Mickey Mouse Mosley with Enoch flair Who wants to be a billionaire