Tag: trump

Cats, Dogs, Transgender Mice

Of course there was no funding for transgender mice, it was for transgenic mice, but what does the truth matter when there’s culture wars to be fought. Meanwhile in Springfield, Ohio…

Cats, dogs, transgender mice
Cats, dogs, transgender mice
Cats, dogs, transgender mice
And the big ginger cat ain’t very nice

The cats say a mouse born with a penis
That mouse can never be a Venus

While the dogs say a mouse born under the wrong star
Has the right to be the mouse that they really are

Cats, dogs, transgender mice
Cats, dogs, transgender mice
Cats, dogs, transgender mice
And the big ginger cat ain’t very nice

In Springfield, they’re eating the cats

The cats won’t share their litter tray
With a mouse who might not go that way

The dogs are cool, there’s nothing amiss
With a mouse who might just need to take a piss

Cats, dogs, transgender mice
Cats, dogs, transgender mice
Cats, dogs, transgender mice
And the big ginger cat ain’t very nice

In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs

The cats are like, eight million dollars
Unlimited catnip and diamante collars

The dogs are like, eight million bucks, but hey
We’d have buried it in the garden anyway

Cats, dogs, transgender mice
Cats, dogs, transgender mice
Cats, dogs, transgender mice
And the big ginger cat ain’t very nice

In Springfield, nobody eats the mice

Cats, dogs, transgender mice
Cats, dogs, transgender mice
Cats, dogs, transgender mice
And the big ginger cat ain’t very nice

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The New Austerity Inn: Rachel Prepares For War

This pub is on a war footing
Rachel says
We’re gonna have to stand our ground
The pub up west has got a new guvnor
He’s throwing his weight around

So happy hour is over
In the New Austerity Inn
If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less
If you’ve got less you’re gonna get less

This pub is on a war footing
Rachel says
We’re gonna have to stand our ground
The pub in the east is expanding
Threatening all around

So happy hour is over
In the New Austerity Inn
If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less
If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less
If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less

In the New Austerity Inn
In the New Austerity Inn
In the New Austerity Inn
In the New Austerity Inn

This pub is on a war footing
Rachel says
But we’re still told we need to grow
That one on the house that you take for granted
Is gonna have to go

So happy hour is over
In the New Austerity Inn
If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less
If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less
If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less
I’ve you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less

In the New Austerity Inn
In the New Austerity Inn
In the New Austerity Inn
In the New Austerity Inn

So happy hour is over
In the New Austerity Inn
If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less
If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less
If you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less
I’ve you’ve got less, you’re gonna get less

In the New Austerity Inn
In the New Austerity Inn
In the New Austerity Inn
In the New Austerity Inn

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You & Me vs. The Billionaires

Imagine getting richer while the poor are still poor
Imagine having everything and still wanting more
Imagine all the hurt and still nobody cares
That’s why it’s you and me against the billionaires

Imagine all the emeralds, your own spaceship
Shooting off to Mars on a space day trip
Imagine if they stayed, what difference would it make
When we do all the give, and they do all the take

The art of the deal says that beggars can’t be choosers
The art of the deal says that winners need their losers
The way we play is that everybody shares
That’s why it’s you and me against the billionaires

You and me, against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires

Imagine using wars to just make more money
Imagine no just cause, just bread and honey
Imagine how little the big boy cares
That’s why it’s you and me against the billionaires

The art of the deal says that beggars can’t be choosers
The art of the deal says that winners need their losers
The way we play is that everybody shares
That’s why it’s you and me against the billionaires

You and me, against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires

Mind the gap, the cats getting fatter
Mind the cap, the one that says MAGA
Mind the trap that says all lives matter
It’s you and me against the billionaires

You and me, against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires
You and me, against the billionaires

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47

47 goes to get it right
47 goes and no end in sight
47 goes to get it right
They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night

It’s Trump-tastic, policy elastic
What he said yesterday
Ain’t what he’s gonna say today
Like what’s today’s favourite word?
What’s today’s favourite steaming turd?
It’s tariffs, tariff-tastic
Tariffs on cheap Chinese plastic
China, nowhere finer
For your cheap Chinese plastic MAGA crap
Your cheap Chinese plastic MAGA hat
Meanwhile here’s a pile for the EU
Meanwhile here’s a pile for the UK too

47 goes to get it right
47 goes and no end in sight
47 goes to get it right
They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night

Not withstanding
Trump’s grandstanding
Trump’s expanding the MAGA empire
Trump’s expanding the MAGA desire
While there’s still no water
For the L.A. fire
California burns
While The President piddles
California burns
While The President tiddles
He won’t fill a bucket, he won’t fill a pail
But he’ll let the insurrectionists out of jail

47 goes to get it right
47 goes and no end in sight
47 goes to get it right
They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night

Unpatriotic patriots, keepers of the oath
Gimme a conspiracy, hell, give me both
A tin foil hat and an M-16
A beer belly, and dirty magazine
Yeah, gimme a conspiracy, hell, give me both
The KKK and the keepers of the oath
Mr. President’s own private militia
While a wide-brimmed hat won’t even let him kiss her
He’s eyeing up Canada and Panama
Where he says their economic interests are
He’s eyeing up Mexico and Greenland too
Like a spray-tanned Roman emperor might do

47 goes to get it right
47 goes and no end in sight
47 goes to get it right
They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night

It’s Trump-tastic, bombastic
Authoritarian, bordering barbarian
Wants to help Benny level Palestine
A dictator mate who ain’t benign
It’s Trump-tastic, it ain’t cute
His mates chucking up a Nazi salute
If you were looking for the fascists, my dear
Look no further, the fascists are here

47 goes to get it right
47 goes and no end in sight
47 goes to get it right
They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night
47 goes to get it right
47 goes and no end in sight
47 goes to get it right
They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night

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Fascist By The Numbers

Elon is a fascist, who knew?
Does that mean that Donald is a fascist too?

Well, let’s count the ways, starting at one
Does he keep the company of fascist chums?
That’s a given, what about two?
Does he blame people who don’t look like me and you?
Absolutely! The enemy
Simultaneously powerful and weak, at three

At four, the opposition
Who he keeps threatening to put in prison

A messianic hero, at five
An assassin’s bullet and he’s still alive

Okay, but what about six?
Does Donald have any other fascist tricks?
Plenty, like the cult of tradition
Typical of a man in his position

Six? Okay, now is that all you’ve got?
At seven his obsession that there’s some kind of plot
You must remember QAnon and all that jazz
Conspiracies like every good fascist has

At eight, action, for action’s sake
“It’s gonna be beautiful”, is Donald’s take
With macho, macho weapons at any excuse
He already said he’s gonna let all hell break loose
If another nation doesn’t tow the line
Which, if I count correctly, brings us up to nine

Authoritarian, that’s in at ten
At eleven, gender limited to women and men
Twelve, there’s no sitting on the fence
Anyone not for him is counted as against
Thirteen? Well, he’s a populist
And fourteen is the end of Umberto’s list

Is Donald a fascist? Let’s count the ways
Brace yourselves people for dark, dark days

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If We Had Won The War

Oh, how different, if we had won the war!
There’d be no Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure
We’d all have homes for heroes, provided by the state
Free healthcare at point of need, without having to wait
Refuge for the needy and the poor
Oh, how different, if we had won the war!

Oh, how different, if we had won the war!
We’d want for nowt, and never need for more
One nation under God
Even if you think that’s odd
And everybody welcome at our shore
Oh, how different, if we had won the war!

Oh, how different, if we had won the war!
Working would never be a chore
We’d all know fair is fair
And millionaires would pay their share
There’d be no Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure
Oh, how different, if we had won the war!

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The Devil

I heard The Devil speaking in a pub by the sea
I heard The devil speaking on the BBC
I heard The Devil speaking every day on Fox News
I heard The Devil say he’s got a long list of things to do
(So hold fast)

I saw The Devil sliding into the house
I saw The Devil striding into the house
I heard The Devil speaking, he was loud and proud
I saw The Devil speaking, he drew a helluva crowd
(So hold fast)

The greatest trick he Devil ever pulled
The greatest trick that had us all fooled
The greatest trick said we don’t believe
And we all blamed each other for his devilry
(So hold fast)

I saw a queue of rich men, all on bended knee
I saw a queue of rich men, from Africa to NYC
There to pledge allegiance, hey The Devil and me
There to pledge allegiance, what can The Devil do for me?
(Better hold fast)

I heard The Devil play guitar from Nashville Tennessee
I heard The Devil launching his own currency
I heard that there’s abuse for which the Devil is liable
I heard The Devil publishes his own version of the Bible
(So hold fast)

The greatest trick…

I heard The Devil saying all hell will break loose
Now that The Devil is free from the calaboose
I heard The Devil saying “fight, fight, fight”
I heard The Devil saying that mortals shouldn’t have rights
(So hold fast)

The greatest trick…

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Billionaires

Let’s hear it for the billionaires
Let’s hear it for the B-I-L, L-I-O-N
Let’s hear it for the billionaires
Let’s hear it for the planet’s wealthiest men
Let’s hear it for the billionaires
Without whom we’d all be better off
Let’s hear it for the billionaires
Let’s tell them to all fuck off

Elon went to school with an emerald in his pocket
Elon told the world he built his own space rocket
Now Donald is the president, Elon is the heir
‘Cos Elon is a billionaire

Let’s hear it…

Donald got elected and that made us sad
The most celebrated rapist the US ever had
But they’re dropping all the charges and saying fair’s fair
‘Cos Donald is a billionaire

Let’s hear it…

Nigel sucks up to the President’s men
‘Cos Nigel wishes he was one of them
A Mickey Mouse Mosley with Enoch flair
Who wants to be a billionaire

Let’s hear it…

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The Bullet Came From His Side of the Wall

It got him in the ear
But was aiming for his head
He was up shaking his fist
When he could’ve been brown bread
Underneath a Secret Service sprawl
And the bullet came from his side of the wall

It got him in the ear
And he didn’t even duck
But some others in the crowd
Didn’t have that kind of luck
Corey Contemporare took the fall
And the bullet came from his side of the wall

It got him in the ear
It was a bit tin anyway
He’s less of a listener
And more I’ll have my say
Now he’s a shoe-in for the Whitehouse in the fall
And the bullet came from his side of the wall

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