The last bloke made a right mess of it
He always had an excuse
Either Covid or the war in Ukraine
And we’re left with half a kitchen, and the sink’s still loose
So we’re telling him to sling his hook
Going back to the phone book
Looked at the Yellow Pages for absolutely ages
And so
We’re gonna give Kier’s Kitchen Fitters a go…
Sir Kier’s Kitchen Fitters
The kitchen fitting splitters
Surely they’re worth a try
They’ll fit your cupboards right
And the boss is a knight
We’ve booked them for the 5th of July
Keir seemed happy with the budget
Said he wasn’t going to fudge it
He was only too pleased to assist
But a gender-neutral toilet
I thought I might’ve spoiled it
Got his knickers in a bit of a twist
Sir Kier’s Kitchen Fitters
For a side that glitters
Surely they’re worth a try
They’ll fit your doors right
And the boss is a knight
We’ve booked them for the 5th of July
We’ve booked them for the 5th of July
The last bloke made a right mess of it
And always blamed somebody else
The Albanian plumber, the Syrian sparks
Now we’re left with half a kitchen, and nothing on the shelf
So we’re throwing him off the job
And getting in another mob
Looked at the Yellow Pages for absolutely ages
And so
We’re gonna give Kier’s Kitchen Fitters a go…
Sir Kier’s Kitchen Fitters
The kitchen fitting splitters
Surely they’re worth a try
They’ll fit your cupboards right
And the boss is a knight
We’ve booked them for the 5th of July
Keir seemed happy with the work
Accepted it with a smirk
He was only too pleased to assist
But a gender-neutral khazi
It coulda got nasty
Got his knickers in a bit of a twist
Sir Kier’s Kitchen Fitters
For a side that glitters
Surely they’re worth a try
They’ll fit your doors right
And the boss is a knight
We’ve booked them for the 5th of July
We’ve booked them for the 5th of July
Steve White & The Protest Family 