45 Days to Save the Cheese

The Queen said pace yourself
But in the end she chased herself
Out of office fast as lettuce could rot
It’s so unfair she died
And getting groceries supplied
Was so much harder with the new job that she’d got

The Downing Street fleas
Would’ve tanked Air BnB’s
Johnson’s dog must’ve had quite a lot
And there was nobody there
To make appointments for her hair
To help her stop it from getting in a knot

She said that it was worse
The strings on the public purse
Despite her own ten years in the slot
And took no interest in the lives
Of presidents’ wives
There’s only so much info you can swot

When she had her say
She made Friday budget day
And gave her enemies the whole weekend to plot
Like a game of Tetris
She inevitably let this
Keep her up before removing Kwasi’s spot

And Hunt did not pick up
When she tried to ring him up
Because her number was one that he’d forgot
And now she’s got a book out
Better keep a look out
A bestseller I suspect that it is not

Al-Rashid Road – a villanelle

In the land where Goliath once strode
With the whine of a drone overhead
There’s an air strike on Al-Rashid Road

The targeted vehicles explode
And seven aid workers lie dead
In the land where Goliath once strode

In soft-skinned transport they rode
Too easy for missiles to shred
There’s an air strike on Al-Rashid Road

Where the lifeblood of charity flowed
Good Samaritans now fear to tread
In the land where Goliath once strode

With shelling the alms they erode
Denying the starving their bread
There’s an air strike on Al-Rashid Road

A ceasefire now surely is owed
As blood-soaked the path lays ahead
In the land where Goliath once strode
There’s an air strike on Al-Rashid Road

Eating People

When the economy won’t grow
And there’s nowhere else to go
It’s not considered evil
For the rich to just eat people

They don’t want to eat you up
But over runneth their cup
And when it’s this unequal
The rich will just eat people

They can’t live in all the houses
But they can own all the houses
Which turns out to be legal
When the rich start eating people

And when the rich start eating people
Some of them will be quite gleeful
Saying it’s a rising tide
We’re just waiting for our ride

Which of course will never come
Because when all’s said and done
It’s simply medieval
For the rich to just eat people

Women 0-1 Oh, East London

Not my bus
Not my people
Oh, East London
Is not for me

Stock sexism
From stocky sexists
Raucous drunks
Bray look at me

Oh, it’s your day
A clap hooray
The boys’ derisive
Repartee

Tits, fanny and Orient’s
Big day out
Goes back in time
Oh, referee!

Non-Binary

Everybody’s got
Two eyes, two ears, two hands, two feet
That’s why some think that binary is right
Well, it might be alright for George Galloway
But people ain’t as simple as night or day
And we’re all on a spectrum like light
Electro-magnetic radiation
It’s true we’re all members of a rainbow nation
And it ain’t as simple as identification
Because everybody has a right
Not necessarily to be who they want to be
Or I’d be Che Guevara in a racing car
Or at the very least a massive rock ‘n’ roll star
But we all deserve to burn bright
And everybody has a right
To be who they are

The Art of Looking Away

Dead children
Funny cats
Dead children
Our ten best hacks
Dead children
Suspicious activity
Dead children
Click here to see
Dead children
Meghan and Harry
Dead children
Are they really unhappy
Dead children
How to get an upgrade
Dead children
Review and get paid
Dead children
The great game
Dead children
It’s always been the same
Dead children
Buy or sell
The burning man cries Free Palestine
Perhaps he wasn’t well

Just Another Day at Elbit

There’s a man in a factory in Leicester
Fixing wings onto military drones
He breaks at eleven for coffee
While they bomb Palestinian homes

She smiles as he hands her a cuppa
Looking up from her targeting grids
She likes it when he brings her coffee
While they shoot Palestinian kids

He waits as she blows it cool gently
And wonders if he should just ask her
What is she doing this Friday
While we watch the destruction of Gaza

There’s a man in a factory in Leicester
Dreaming of romance and love
Through his nine to five military systems
Assembling death from above

Unlucky Street

Phone shop
Vape shop
Chicken shop
Bookies

It used to be so sweet
Now it’s Unlucky Street

High crime
Traffic fine
Sex attacks
And decline

Phone shop
Vape shop
Chicken shop
Bookies

It used to be so sweet
Now it’s Unlucky Street

Fly tipped
Dog shit
County lines
Conflict

High crime
Traffic fine
Sex attacks
And decline

Phone shop
Vape shop
Chicken shop
Bookies

It used to be so sweet
Now it’s Unlucky Street

Front garden sofas
Poverty sarcomas
Everyone you know does
A shrug of the shoulders

At fly tipped
Dog shit
County lines
Conflict

High crime
Traffic fine
Sex attacks
And decline

Phone shop
Vape shop
Chicken shop
Bookies

It used to be so sweet
Now it’s Unlucky Street

Tags in the litter
A mattress in the river
Stand and deliver
Throw up a pigeon’s dinner

On front garden sofas
Poverty sarcomas
Everyone you know does
A shrug of the shoulders

At fly tipped
Dog shit
County lines
Conflict

High crime
Traffic fine
Sex attacks
And decline

Phone shop
Vape shop
Chicken shop
Bookies

It used to be so sweet
Now it’s Unlucky Street

Robbery’s a failure
Antisocial behaviour
Jesus Christ our saviour
Do us all a favour

Tags in the litter
A mattress in the river
Stand and deliver
Throw up a pigeon’s dinner

On front garden sofas
Poverty sarcomas
Everyone you know does
A shrug of the shoulders

At fly tipped
Dog shit
County lines
Conflict

High crime
Traffic fine
Sex attacks
And decline

Phone shop
Vape shop
Chicken shop
Bookies

It used to be so sweet
Now it’s Unlucky Street