Here comes Cool Uncle Andy
He likes football and beer
So, chuck your plastic lager in the air now, lads
Cool Uncle Andy’s here
And all the talk on the radio
Is he shouldn’t have worn those shorts, oh no
The chat on the sofa in the studio
Cool Uncle Andy’s runners, oh
Cool Uncle Andy
Says you’ve gotta have hope
Cool Uncle Andy’s
Soap on a rope
Here comes Cool Uncle Andy
Cool Uncle Andy’s game
But at the bar of the New Austerity Inn
The round he buys is just the same
And all the talk on the radio
Is he shouldn’t have worn those shorts, oh no
The chat on the sofa in the studio
Cool Uncle Andy’s runners, oh
Cool Uncle Andy
Says you’ve gotta have hope
Cool Uncle Andy’s
Soap on a rope
Cool Uncle Andy’s
Soap on a rope
