Tag: donald trump

Big Beautiful Bill

They call him Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
On his way
To Capitol Hill

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
He ain’t gonna help you
When you ill

He’ll steal from the poor
To give to the rich
Big, beautiful Bill’s
A Robin Hood switch

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
He’ll borrow money
Like no one else will

For every dollar
He’ll borrow half more
Big, beautiful Bill’s
Debt’s outa the door

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill

Bill liked a girl
Her name was Liz
Her kinda thinkin’
Was a lot like his

She borrowed money
Until it went wrong
Like Bill she won’t listen
To the words of this song

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill

They call him Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
He ain’t gonna help you
When you fall ill

He’ll steal from the poor
To give to the rich
Big, beautiful Bill’s
A Robin Hood switch

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill

Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill
Big, beautiful Bill

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The New Pharaohs of the West

He wears his shoes way too big
And tells the most tremendous lies
He’s got magic healing ears
And blind eyes to genocide

He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West
He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West

The illegal alien with a billion bucks
High on ket., tweets a curse
Dirty Donny was in bed with Jeff
In the file and so much worse

He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West
He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West

Two hundred and eighty cubits high
And build it just as wide
Build it on the bones of Palestinians
Build it in my new Gaza seaside

Donny’s living the American dream
He’s lived it since he was eighteen
And his father gave him his first million dollars

He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West
He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West

Two hundred and eighty cubits high
And build it just as wide
Build it on the bones of Palestinians
Build it in my new Gaza seaside

He was born in an emerald mine
In the South African sunshine
He’s cool with apartheid
Cool with conspiracy

He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West
He’s one of the new pharaohs of the West

Two hundred and eighty cubits high
And build it just as wide
Build it on the bones of Palestinians
Build it in my new Gaza seaside
Build it on the bones of Palestinians
Build it in my new Gaza seaside

The new pharaohs of the West
The new pharaohs of the West
The new pharaohs of the West
The new pharaohs of the West

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A Letter From The King

Does it smell nice?
A letter from the king
Of scented ink, that kind of thing
Mellifluous craft and flowery word
Meticulously well-observed

Or does it smell of dusty palaces and old men
Tainted by the mouldering stench of then
Sparse script spiked with iron gall
As if the king should have to write at all

How tightly clenched, the royal jaw
How white-knuckled, the royal paw
Nib mashed to page, the words appear
One so looks forward to your second visit here

Behold, for sure, a regal thing
But what’s that smell?
A letter from the king

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A Love Letter From Nigel Farage To Donald Trump

I always tell people that you are extraordinary
I bask in the glow of your golden age
Your upbeat populism, it’s gonna be beautiful
I’m the wind beneath the wings of your global stage

Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
I love you though you can be cruel and unkind
Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
Please don’t leave me behind

Remember how we felt in 2016
The laughs that we had outside the golden door
Fooling the world that we were anti-establishment
Planning all the riches that the power could score

Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
I love you though you can be cruel and unkind
Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
Please don’t leave me behind

I always tell people to take you seriously
Even if literally can be a bit much
I’m sorry we disagree about Zelensky
Oh Donny, Tommy doesn’t have your golden touch

Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
I love you though you can be cruel and unkind
Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
Please don’t leave me behind

I know he has a chainsaw and his own space rocket
I know he bought Twitter and rid it of blue
But his kid picked his nose in The Oval Office
And he could never love you the way that I do

Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
I love you though you can be cruel and unkind
Oh, Donald
Oh, Donny
Please don’t leave me behind

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Damian

Damian picks his nose in the Oval Office
Wipes it on the desk like no one’s there
Damian speaks his mind without question
Damian meets the world with a confident stare

Damian hitched a ride on his father’s shoulder
His black-capped charger stamps a hoof and neighs
He knows all this will be his when he’s older
The Master of all that he surveys

Damian is laughing at democracy
Damian whispers in the President’s ear
Damian picks his nose in the Oval Office
Damian knows his time is nearly here

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If We Had Won The War

Oh, how different, if we had won the war!
There’d be no Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure
We’d all have homes for heroes, there’d be no Jan 6 zeroes
There’d be refuge for the needy and the poor
If we had won the war!

Oh, how different, if we had won the war!
We’d want for nowt, and never need for more
One nation under God
Even if you think that’s odd
And everybody welcome at our shore
If we had won the war!

If we had won the war, there’d be no Nazis at our door
No Nazis in Reform UK or even down that UKIP way
If we had won the war, there’d be no Nazis at our door
No Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure
If we had won the war

Oh, how different, if we had won the war!
Working would never be a chore
We’d all know fair is fair
And billionaires would pay their share
There’d be no Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure
If we had won the war!

If we had won the war, there’d be no Nazis at our door
No Nazis in Reform UK or even down that UKIP way
If we had won the war, there’d be no Nazis at our door
No Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure
If we had won the war

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47

47 goes to get it right
47 goes and no end in sight
47 goes to get it right
They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night

It’s Trump-tastic, policy elastic
What he said yesterday
Ain’t what he’s gonna say today
Like what’s today’s favourite word?
What’s today’s favourite steaming turd?
It’s tariffs, tariff-tastic
Tariffs on cheap Chinese plastic
China, nowhere finer
For your cheap Chinese plastic MAGA crap
Your cheap Chinese plastic MAGA hat
Meanwhile here’s a pile for the EU
Meanwhile here’s a pile for the UK too

47 goes to get it right
47 goes and no end in sight
47 goes to get it right
They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night

Not withstanding
Trump’s grandstanding
Trump’s expanding the MAGA empire
Trump’s expanding the MAGA desire
While there’s still no water
For the L.A. fire
California burns
While The President piddles
California burns
While The President tiddles
He won’t fill a bucket, he won’t fill a pail
But he’ll let the insurrectionists out of jail

47 goes to get it right
47 goes and no end in sight
47 goes to get it right
They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night

Unpatriotic patriots, keepers of the oath
Gimme a conspiracy, hell, give me both
A tin foil hat and an M-16
A beer belly, and dirty magazine
Yeah, gimme a conspiracy, hell, give me both
The KKK and the keepers of the oath
Mr. President’s own private militia
While a wide-brimmed hat won’t even let him kiss her
He’s eyeing up Canada and Panama
Where he says their economic interests are
He’s eyeing up Mexico and Greenland too
Like a spray-tanned Roman emperor might do

47 goes to get it right
47 goes and no end in sight
47 goes to get it right
They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night

It’s Trump-tastic, bombastic
Authoritarian, bordering barbarian
Wants to help Benny level Palestine
A dictator mate who ain’t benign
It’s Trump-tastic, it ain’t cute
His mates chucking up a Nazi salute
If you were looking for the fascists, my dear
Look no further, the fascists are here

47 goes to get it right
47 goes and no end in sight
47 goes to get it right
They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night
47 goes to get it right
47 goes and no end in sight
47 goes to get it right
They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night

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Fascist By The Numbers

Elon is a fascist, who knew?
Does that mean that Donald is a fascist too?

Well, let’s count the ways, starting at one
Does he keep the company of fascist chums?
That’s a given, what about two?
Does he blame people who don’t look like me and you?
Absolutely! The enemy
Simultaneously powerful and weak, at three

At four, the opposition
Who he keeps threatening to put in prison

A messianic hero, at five
An assassin’s bullet and he’s still alive

Okay, but what about six?
Does Donald have any other fascist tricks?
Plenty, like the cult of tradition
Typical of a man in his position

Six? Okay, now is that all you’ve got?
At seven his obsession that there’s some kind of plot
You must remember QAnon and all that jazz
Conspiracies like every good fascist has

At eight, action, for action’s sake
“It’s gonna be beautiful”, is Donald’s take
With macho, macho weapons at any excuse
He already said he’s gonna let all hell break loose
If another nation doesn’t tow the line
Which, if I count correctly, brings us up to nine

Authoritarian, that’s in at ten
At eleven, gender limited to women and men
Twelve, there’s no sitting on the fence
Anyone not for him is counted as against
Thirteen? Well, he’s a populist
And fourteen is the end of Umberto’s list

Is Donald a fascist? Let’s count the ways
Brace yourselves people for dark, dark days

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President I Told You So

President I Told You So
With Cali-forn-i-a aglow
When fire hydrants didn’t flow
He blamed it on the fish

President I Told You So
A climate change denier, so
With Califor-ni-ay aglow
Really took the piss

I told you so
I told you so
President I Told You So
Is putting on a show

President I Told You So
Said Greenland is the place to go
I’ve got an army, don’t you know
The Dane’s I’ll simply overthrow

And Panama, if you please
It’s being run by the Chinese
So, on your knees, cough up the keys
To the good ol’ US of….oh…..

Hail to the chief
Armed to the teeth
He’s got a beef
With the Chinese, the Mexicans
The Danes and all the rest of ‘em

Hail to the chief
Beyond belief
He’ll smack you with the tariffs
And he’ll smack you in the teeth

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Burn, Baby, Burn

Voices from a dying planet
The future featured on TV
In a world where only rich the folk have it
Fire’s an inevitability

And it’s getting close to the Hollywood sign
While vox pops on the evening news
Say there’s plenty in the ocean
Can’t they just jump in their pools

The President Elect
The President Elect – get this
The President Elect
He’s blaming the fish

Burn, baby, burn
An unwillingness to learn
Burn, baby, burn
An unwillingness to turn

Burn, baby, burn
Burn, baby, burn
Burn, baby, burn

A blazing morning of hope, James said
The next day it’s all gone
James is blaming the liberals
James won’t listen to this song

Drill, baby, drill
Vote for who you will
Burn, baby, burn
An unwillingness to learn

Burn, baby, burn
Burn, baby, burn
Burn, baby, burn

While they’re pulling overnighters
Elon blames the firefighters
Who have said for months
It could all catch fire at once

And it turns out that water
Won’t often flow uphill
It turns out The Wonderful Company
Makes the bitterest pill

It turns out that water
Ain’t in plentiful supply
You might ignore the changes
But the climate’s mighty dry

Burn, baby, burn
An unwillingness to learn
Burn, baby, burn
An unwillingness to turn

Burn, baby, burn
Burn, baby, burn
Burn, baby, burn

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