President I Told You So

President I Told You So
With Cali-forn-i-a aglow
When fire hydrants didn’t flow
He blamed it on the fish

President I Told You So
A climate change denier, so
With Califor-ni-ay aglow
Really took the piss

I told you so
I told you so
President I Told You So
Is putting on a show

President I Told You So
Said Greenland is the place to go
I’ve got an army, don’t you know
The Dane’s I’ll simply overthrow

And Panama, if you please
It’s being run by the Chinese
So, on your knees, cough up the keys
To the good ol’ US of….oh…..

Hail to the chief
Armed to the teeth
He’s got a beef
With the Chinese, the Mexicans
The Danes and all the rest of ‘em

Hail to the chief
Beyond belief
He’ll smack you with the tariffs
And he’ll smack you in the teeth

Politics For People Who Don’t Do Politics

There’s politics for people who do politics
And politics for people who don’t do politics,
And the politics for people who don’t do politics
Hides behind the politics for people who do politics
Who say “You all need to understand the politics”
To people who say “It’s all the same, the politics”
While the politics is laughing in their face,
And ripping off their money to give it to their mates
Who are having a great time riding rockets into space.
Meanwhile, the politics for people who do politics
Gets all excited by the kerfuffle
Of a cabinet reshuffle,
While the people who don’t do politics exclaim
“It doesn’t matter they’re all the same.”
And they might just have a point.
Because while the people who do politics scream
“Oh no, Nadine”, or even Nadhim,
The politics for people who don’t do politics
Has them on their knees,
Fails to manage the disease,
Increases taxes by degrees,
Is killing off the bees,
Says daft things about cheese,
And wants to go to war with the Chinese.
So, the people who do politics
Should understand the politics for people who do politics
Puts off the people who don’t do politics
From the politics for people that don’t do politics
That’s doing them.