Tag: allegra stratton

The Day They Cancelled Christmas

Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas
Bozo chaired a little quiz, Allegra had a little cry

Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas
With a substantial buffet and glasses of wine

Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas
Tory donors, Christmas jumpers, party hats if so inclined

Shaun Bailey threw a party on the day they cancelled Christmas
Snug up for the pictures, no need to comply

Cos the rules, don’t apply to them
You can do what you like behind the doors of number 10
No, the rules don’t apply to them
Whatever you do when it comes around, please don’t vote them in again

by Categories: COVID-19, Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Plan B

Work from home if you can work from home
Unless there’s a secret Santa party.
You’ll need a Covid pass if there’s enough folk
But we’re still having Downing Street festives, aren’t we?
Cover your face in public venues
Unless you’re having cheese and wine
And a lateral flow test might suffice
But you were never there’s still the party line.
Rest assured that everyone follows the guidance
At all events that you deny ever happen
And double down in faux outrage
When you see the clip of Allegra Stratton.
Contacts are okay if they test every day,
The Emperor’s new clothes are plain to see:
Don’t do as I do, do as I say,
It’s the 8th day of Advent, here’s Plan B.

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Spaffed

Let’s paint it blue,
Draped with union jacks
But Spaffer’s West Wing
Just got the axe
He said “They wanna hear me”
But doubt got in his head
And now Allegra needs
Another job instead

Her’s got spaffed

Spaffed! There goes your taxpayer pound
Spaffed! By Bozo the Clown
He Spaffed on the bus, he spaffed in space
He Spaffed on Dido’s track and Dido’s trace

Let’s build a bridge
Bedecked with flowers
Take what’s theirs
And make it ours
We’ll host bridge parties,
Corporate jollies
Another of Johnson’s
Corporate follies

It got spaffed

Spaffed! There goes your taxpayer pound
Spaffed! By Bozo the Clown
He Spaffed on the bus, he spaffed in space
He Spaffed on Dido’s track and Dido’s trace

Let’s build an island
In the middle of the Thames
For planes to take off
And to land again
Like many of his ideas
This one was crap
Four million quid later,
Boris Island got scrapped

It got Spaffed

Spaffed! There goes your taxpayer pound
Spaffed! By Bozo the Clown
Spaffed on the bus, spaffed in space
Spaffed on Dido’s track and Dido’s trace

Let’s paint it blue,
Draped in Union Jacks
Let’s paint it blue,
Draped in Union Jacks
Let’s paint it blue, draped in Union Jacks
And bury the news that it’s been spaffed
Spaffed

by Categories: COVID-19, Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment