He exercised free speech To say he’d been denied free speech There are things, he said, I’m not allowed to say
And then he said them anyway
We told him, you can say anything you want to say There’s just one thing you really ought to know If you set out to harm somebody else with your words Then we reserve the right to tell you so
He said, oh
But there are crime crimes Things that I know to be a crime Then there are hate crimes That I’m not sure are actually a crime
We took our time
If your crime’s linked to the colour of your poor victim’s skin Or motivated by the relationship they’re in Then what you did is a crime just the same It’s just your hate has given it a name
But then, he said, there’s non-crime hate We just said, mate It’s your hate that you should be working on
He balled his fists, he stamped his feet He said, you see, there’s no free speech And with the rattle of a red pill He was gone
Damian picks his nose in the Oval Office Wipes it on the desk like no one’s there Damian speaks his mind without question Damian meets the world with a confident stare
Damian hitched a ride on his father’s shoulder His black-capped charger stamps a hoof and neighs He knows all this will be his when he’s older The Master of all that he surveys
Damian is laughing at democracy Damian whispers in the President’s ear Damian picks his nose in the Oval Office Damian knows his time is nearly here
Oh, how different, if we had won the war! There’d be no Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure We’d all have homes for heroes, there’d be no Jan 6 zeroes There’d be refuge for the needy and the poor If we had won the war!
Oh, how different, if we had won the war! We’d want for nowt, and never need for more One nation under God Even if you think that’s odd And everybody welcome at our shore If we had won the war!
If we had won the war, there’d be no Nazis at our door No Nazis in Reform UK or even down that UKIP way If we had won the war, there’d be no Nazis at our door No Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure If we had won the war
Oh, how different, if we had won the war! Working would never be a chore We’d all know fair is fair And billionaires would pay their share There’d be no Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure If we had won the war!
If we had won the war, there’d be no Nazis at our door No Nazis in Reform UK or even down that UKIP way If we had won the war, there’d be no Nazis at our door No Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure If we had won the war
47 goes to get it right 47 goes and no end in sight 47 goes to get it right They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night
It’s Trump-tastic, policy elastic What he said yesterday Ain’t what he’s gonna say today Like what’s today’s favourite word? What’s today’s favourite steaming turd? It’s tariffs, tariff-tastic Tariffs on cheap Chinese plastic China, nowhere finer For your cheap Chinese plastic MAGA crap Your cheap Chinese plastic MAGA hat Meanwhile here’s a pile for the EU Meanwhile here’s a pile for the UK too
47 goes to get it right 47 goes and no end in sight 47 goes to get it right They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night
Not withstanding Trump’s grandstanding Trump’s expanding the MAGA empire Trump’s expanding the MAGA desire While there’s still no water For the L.A. fire California burns While The President piddles California burns While The President tiddles He won’t fill a bucket, he won’t fill a pail But he’ll let the insurrectionists out of jail
47 goes to get it right 47 goes and no end in sight 47 goes to get it right They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night
Unpatriotic patriots, keepers of the oath Gimme a conspiracy, hell, give me both A tin foil hat and an M-16 A beer belly, and dirty magazine Yeah, gimme a conspiracy, hell, give me both The KKK and the keepers of the oath Mr. President’s own private militia While a wide-brimmed hat won’t even let him kiss her He’s eyeing up Canada and Panama Where he says their economic interests are He’s eyeing up Mexico and Greenland too Like a spray-tanned Roman emperor might do
47 goes to get it right 47 goes and no end in sight 47 goes to get it right They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night
It’s Trump-tastic, bombastic Authoritarian, bordering barbarian Wants to help Benny level Palestine A dictator mate who ain’t benign It’s Trump-tastic, it ain’t cute His mates chucking up a Nazi salute If you were looking for the fascists, my dear Look no further, the fascists are here
47 goes to get it right 47 goes and no end in sight 47 goes to get it right They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night 47 goes to get it right 47 goes and no end in sight 47 goes to get it right They’re gonna need the Fentanyl to get ‘em through the night
They’re packing up their space rockets and leaving Britain is bleeding billionaires But they can’t take their fixed assets with them So nobody but Rachel really cares
Elon is a fascist, who knew? Does that mean that Donald is a fascist too?
Well, let’s count the ways, starting at one Does he keep the company of fascist chums? That’s a given, what about two? Does he blame people who don’t look like me and you? Absolutely! The enemy Simultaneously powerful and weak, at three
At four, the opposition Who he keeps threatening to put in prison
A messianic hero, at five An assassin’s bullet and he’s still alive
Okay, but what about six? Does Donald have any other fascist tricks? Plenty, like the cult of tradition Typical of a man in his position
Six? Okay, now is that all you’ve got? At seven his obsession that there’s some kind of plot You must remember QAnon and all that jazz Conspiracies like every good fascist has
At eight, action, for action’s sake “It’s gonna be beautiful”, is Donald’s take With macho, macho weapons at any excuse He already said he’s gonna let all hell break loose If another nation doesn’t tow the line Which, if I count correctly, brings us up to nine
Authoritarian, that’s in at ten At eleven, gender limited to women and men Twelve, there’s no sitting on the fence Anyone not for him is counted as against Thirteen? Well, he’s a populist And fourteen is the end of Umberto’s list
Is Donald a fascist? Let’s count the ways Brace yourselves people for dark, dark days
Oh, how different, if we had won the war! There’d be no Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure We’d all have homes for heroes, provided by the state Free healthcare at point of need, without having to wait Refuge for the needy and the poor Oh, how different, if we had won the war!
Oh, how different, if we had won the war! We’d want for nowt, and never need for more One nation under God Even if you think that’s odd And everybody welcome at our shore Oh, how different, if we had won the war!
Oh, how different, if we had won the war! Working would never be a chore We’d all know fair is fair And millionaires would pay their share There’d be no Nazis in The Whitehouse, that’s for sure Oh, how different, if we had won the war!
I heard The Devil speaking in a pub by the sea I heard The devil speaking on the BBC I heard The Devil speaking every day on Fox News I heard The Devil say he’s got a long list of things to do (So hold fast)
I saw The Devil sliding into the house I saw The Devil striding into the house I heard The Devil speaking, he was loud and proud I saw The Devil speaking, he drew a helluva crowd (So hold fast)
The greatest trick he Devil ever pulled The greatest trick that had us all fooled The greatest trick said we don’t believe And we all blamed each other for his devilry (So hold fast)
I saw a queue of rich men, all on bended knee I saw a queue of rich men, from Africa to NYC There to pledge allegiance, hey The Devil and me There to pledge allegiance, what can The Devil do for me? (Better hold fast)
I heard The Devil play guitar from Nashville Tennessee I heard The Devil launching his own currency I heard that there’s abuse for which the Devil is liable I heard The Devil publishes his own version of the Bible (So hold fast)
The greatest trick…
I heard The Devil saying all hell will break loose Now that The Devil is free from the calaboose I heard The Devil saying “fight, fight, fight” I heard The Devil saying that mortals shouldn’t have rights (So hold fast)
Rachel surveys the thinning crowd from behind the bar of The New Austerity Inn. “I thought it would be better than this,” she says to no one in particular.
The locals have taken to calling her “Rachel the Barmaid”. They don’t think that she’s qualified to run the pub on her own. She might have pinned her certificate to the wall, but she’s still done nothing about the dire offering on tap.
Meanwhile, outside the Wetherspoons, a man in mustard trousers hides a glass of Chablis behind “a pint of your finest ale”, lights a cigarette, and waits.
Steve White & The Protest Family 