Category: Lyrics

Hold Fast

She pulls her coat tight against the wind and the rain
Eyes fixed fast on the puddles and the path
Her footsteps the rhythm of the thoughts in her head
What just happened, they said

An uprising in the neighbourhood
Things ain’t like they used to be
It ain’t alright round here no more
There’s some folk should be shown the door

It’s gonna be a rough ride
Some boats will not survive the rising of the tide
But they shall not pass
So, hold fast
Hold fast

She pulls her coat tight, the coming of the storm
Seems inevitable now, since nothing’s changed
The splashing of her footsteps, her raindrop tears
What just happened, why here

An uprising in the neighbourhood
Things ain’t like they used to be
An imaginary village green
A billionaire on a TV screen

It’s gonna be a rough ride
Some boats will not survive the rising of the tide
But they shall not pass
So, hold fast
Hold fast

She pulls her coat tight, like some kinda shield
Could protect her from the coming of the night
Hands searching for her phone
You’ve gotta get wet if you’re gonna get home

An uprising in the neighbourhood
Dirty looks from the poppy parade
There’s never any spoken in the park
It’s no place to be after dark

It’s gonna be a rough ride
Some boats will not survive the rising of the tide
But they shall not pass
So, hold fast
Hold fast

She pulls her coat tight, looks up through the rain
A shaft of sunlight, a ray of hope
More footsteps, increasing in number
Just as she thought she was about to go under

An uprising in the neighbourhood
A voice at her side says, hold fast
A rainbow, standing, solidly cast
United, they shall not pass

It’s gonna be a rough ride
Some boats will not survive the rising of the tide
But they shall not pass
So, hold fast
Hold fast

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Billionaires

Let’s hear it for the billionaires
Let’s hear it for the B-I-L, L-I-O-N
Let’s hear it for the billionaires
Let’s hear it for the planet’s wealthiest men
Let’s hear it for the billionaires
Without whom we’d all be better off
Let’s hear it for the billionaires
Let’s tell them to all fuck off

Elon went to school with an emerald in his pocket
Elon told the world he built his own space rocket
Now Donald is the president, Elon is the heir
‘Cos Elon is a billionaire

Let’s hear it…

Donald got elected and that made us sad
The most celebrated rapist the US ever had
But they’re dropping all the charges and saying fair’s fair
‘Cos Donald is a billionaire

Let’s hear it…

Nigel sucks up to the President’s men
‘Cos Nigel wishes he was one of them
A Mickey Mouse Mosley with Enoch flair
Who wants to be a billionaire

Let’s hear it…

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

Build a Better Mousetrap

Build a better mousetrap
Build it really nice
Build a better mousetrap
That don’t catch mice
‘Cause catching all the mice
Ain’t a thing we wanna do
We just wanna sell
Mousetraps to you

What you’ve gotta understand is
It ain’t about the mice
What you’ve gotta understand
Take my advice
You wanna sell a thing
That people need to buy again
So here is the trick
My friend

What you’ve gotta understand is
It’s all about the profit
The asset fund manager’s
Fee in their pocket
So if next door builds
A better mousetrap than you
He’s gonna invest
In their mousetrap too

What you’ve gotta understand
Is it doesn’t really matter
If you own a bit of everything
Your wallet gets fatter
And investors don’t care
If you really catch mice
So long as the punters
Are buying your device

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

The Poppy and the Cross

With fewer his majesties
There’d be fewer dead
Yet he leads the remembrance
The old soldier said
The symbols that you see
Are there to show you who’s the boss
They know that you’ll comply
With the poppy and the cross

The poppy and the cross
King and country and the rest
It’s amazing what you’ll suffer
To be told that you’re the best
His Majesty don’t care
For your sorrow and your loss
So long as you’ll die for
The poppy and the cross

That fella with the wreath, he said
Signs the papers off
To manufacture weapons
For the poppy and the cross
To ship them overseas
For genocide in foreign lands
His jacket wears a poppy
But bloody are his hands

Bloody are his hands
King and country and the rest
It’s amazing what you’ll suffer
To be told that you’re the best
His Majesty don’t care
For your sorrow and your loss
So long as you’ll die for
The poppy and the cross

He holds a shepherd’s crook
And he wears a bishop’s hat
The old soldier said to me
What do you make of that
Here to give the slaughter
Some of his pious gloss
Here to lead the prayers
For the poppy and the cross

The poppy and the cross
God and country and the rest
It’s amazing what you’ll suffer
To be told that you’re the best
His Majesty don’t care
For your sorrow and your loss
So long as you’ll die for
The poppy and the cross

Don’t confuse sacrifice
With being sacrificed
The old soldier spoke
Of the wicked loss of life
King and country, God and crown
Will never count the cost
It’s you and I that die
For the poppy and the cross

The poppy and the cross
King and country and the rest
It’s amazing what you’ll suffer
To be told that you’re the best
His Majesty don’t care
For your sorrow and your loss
So long as you’ll die for
The poppy and the cross

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

The New Austerity Inn

In the New Austerity Inn
Where the beer tastes of poverty and spin
Rachel plays a tiny violin
(Singing) You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it

In the New Austerity Inn
Where old folk aspire for a warm around the fire
Rachel leads the budget choir
(Singing) You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it

In the New Austerity Inn
The New Austerity Inn
In the New Austerity Inn
The New Austerity Inn

In the New Austerity Inn
The guvnor’s got a new suit, new tie, new boots
He says everything’s reduced
(But) You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it

In the New Austerity Inn
The New Austerity Inn
In the New Austerity Inn
The New Austerity Inn

It was just like this with George in charge
A bloke at the bar says he voted Farage
And Rachel shouts “Now we’re in charge”
In the New Austerity Inn
The New Austerity Inn
In the New Austerity Inn
The New Austerity Inn
(And) You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
We can’t have it if they can’t afford it
We can’t have it if they can’t afford it
We can’t have it if they can’t afford it
We can’t have it if they can’t afford it

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

Tina and My Pillow Guy

Tina believed the Big Lie
Now Tina’s gonna have to let time go by
‘Cause Tina broke in to the voting machine
To try to prove that Donald’s hands were clean
But Donald’s hands are dirty as hell
Now Tina’s hands are dirty as well
Now Tina’s gonna have to let time go by
‘Cause Tina believed the Big Lie….(and My Pillow Guy)

Tina and My Pillow Guy
Tina and My Pillow Guy (and the Big Lie)
Tina and My Pillow Guy
Will have to say goodbye

Tina believed in My Pillow Guy
Now Tina’s gonna have to let time go by
‘Cause Tina broke into the voting machine
To try to prove that Donald’s hands were clean
But Donald’s hands are dirty as hell
And Mike’s hands are dirty as well
Now Tina’s gonna have to let time go by
‘Cause Tina believed in My Pillow Guy

Tina and My Pillow Guy
Tina and My Pillow Guy (and the Big Lie)
Tina and My Pillow Guy
Will have to say goodbye

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , Leave a comment

The Emperor’s New Clothes

A cloth so fine I’ll weave for you
The great and good can only view
The likes of which you’ve never seen
And best of all the suit is free

You’ll have clothes like no one else
The best of everything he sells
The people they will never see
And best of all, the suit is free

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss
Wearing the same invisible cloth

The people look, the people stare
From Clacton to Trafalgar Square
The people look, the people stare
But they all know there’s nothing there

The bobbin span, the shuttle flew
The sick, he said, have work to do
The finest cloth is meant for me
And best of all, the suit is free

The finest cloth on the machine
Though there was nothing to be seen
No marvel that his eye could see
But nonetheless the suit was free

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss
Wearing the same invisible cloth

The people look, the people stare
From Clacton to Trafalgar Square
The people look, the people stare
But they all know there’s nothing there

Tough choices, did he have the spine
To say I see no cloth so fine
The cloth the great and good could see
But best of all the suit was free

Tough choices, but you know the rest
The cloth, he said, was of the best
The cloth the great and good could see
But best of all the suit was free

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss
Wearing the same invisible cloth

The people look, the people stare
From Clacton to Trafalgar Square
The people look, the people stare
But they all know there’s nothing there

The people look, the people stare
From Clacton to Trafalgar Square
The people look, the people stare
But they all know there’s nothing there

They all know the king is bare

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , Leave a comment

Dark Clouds Over Clacton

They say that it may have stopped raining
They say the sun might come out
But there are dark clouds over Clacton
Giving me doubt

They say that it may have stopped raining
They say that they can clearly see
But there are dark clouds over Clacton
Troubling me

They say there’s a new skipper at the helm
They say he has a steady hand
But there are dark clouds over Clacton
And we’re still miles from land

They say there’s a new skipper at the helm
They say he takes things seriously
But there are dark clouds over Clacton
Troubling me

Dark clouds over Clacton
Dark clouds and a stormy sea
There are dark clouds over Clacton
Troubling me

They say that the day that you see the devil
He steals away a piece of your soul
Now the dark clouds over Clacton
Feel so cold

They say that the day that you see the devil
His laugh will never leave you be
Now there are dark clouds over Clacton
Troubling me

Dark clouds over Clacton
Dark clouds and a stormy sea
There are dark clouds over Clacton
Troubling me

They say that all we need is a fair wind
A fair wind and a following sea
But there are dark clouds over Clacton
Troubling me

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

The Jolly Capitalist

Nick the jolly capitalist is happy to explain
How all you need is love and you really shouldn’t complain
Because every billionaire has a billionaire dad
And love is all you need ‘cause love is all you ever had

Nick the jolly capitalist is happy to explain
That cheap and cheerful really is a money-making game
So Vimes cannot afford the boots in which he should be stood
But a cheap pair every year cost more than good ones ever would

Oh, I wish I was as happy as Nick
I wouldn’t have to care about the poor and the sick
But I want other folk to be
At least as well off as me
And while I understand the money trick
I’ll never be as happy as Nick

Nick the jolly capitalist is happy to explain
How landlords are the ones who really have it all to gain
‘Cause while you pay their mortgages there’s social housing shortages
So you should just be grateful they don’t Section 21

Nick the jolly capitalist is happy to explain
How shitting in the river is the ultimate aim
Because if selling off the water ain’t enough to make you mad
Then selling off the NHS won’t seem half as bad

Oh, I wish I was as happy as Nick
I wouldn’t have to care about the poor and the sick
But I want other folk to be
At least as well off as me
And while I understand the money trick
I’ll never be as happy as Nick

Nick the jolly capitalist is happy to explain
How the 7th of October was the start of the campaign
Drones and bombs and missiles are a lucrative supply
Just requires the application of a little blind eye

Nick the jolly capitalist is happy to explain
That when a foodbank opens up he opens up the champagne
Because if the poor feed the poor what is the government for
But making rick folk richer than they’ve ever been before

Oh, I wish I was as happy as Nick
I wouldn’t have to care about the poor and the sick
But I want other folk to be
At least as well off as me
And while I understand the money trick
I’ll never be as happy as Nick

Nick the jolly capitalist is happy to explain
How all you need is love and you really shouldn’t complain
Because every billionaire has a billionaire dad
And love is all you need ‘cause love is all you ever had

Oh, I wish I was as happy as Nick
I wouldn’t have to care about the poor and the sick
But I want other folk to be
At least as well off as me
And while I understand the money trick
I’ll never be as happy as Nick

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Kier’s Kitchens

The last bloke made a right mess of it
He always had an excuse
Either Covid or the war in Ukraine
And we’re left with half a kitchen, and the sink’s still loose

So we’re telling him to sling his hook
Going back to the phone book
Looked at the Yellow Pages for absolutely ages
And so
We’re gonna give Kier’s Kitchen Fitters a go…

Sir Kier’s Kitchen Fitters
The kitchen fitting splitters
Surely they’re worth a try
They’ll fit your cupboards right
And the boss is a knight
We’ve booked them for the 5th of July

Keir seemed happy with the budget
Said he wasn’t going to fudge it
He was only too pleased to assist
But a gender-neutral toilet
I thought I might’ve spoiled it
Got his knickers in a bit of a twist

Sir Kier’s Kitchen Fitters
For a side that glitters
Surely they’re worth a try
They’ll fit your doors right
And the boss is a knight
We’ve booked them for the 5th of July
We’ve booked them for the 5th of July

The last bloke made a right mess of it
And always blamed somebody else
The Albanian plumber, the Syrian sparks
Now we’re left with half a kitchen, and nothing on the shelf

So we’re throwing him off the job
And getting in another mob
Looked at the Yellow Pages for absolutely ages
And so
We’re gonna give Kier’s Kitchen Fitters a go…

Sir Kier’s Kitchen Fitters
The kitchen fitting splitters
Surely they’re worth a try
They’ll fit your cupboards right
And the boss is a knight
We’ve booked them for the 5th of July

Keir seemed happy with the work
Accepted it with a smirk
He was only too pleased to assist
But a gender-neutral khazi
It coulda got nasty
Got his knickers in a bit of a twist

Sir Kier’s Kitchen Fitters
For a side that glitters
Surely they’re worth a try
They’ll fit your doors right
And the boss is a knight
We’ve booked them for the 5th of July
We’ve booked them for the 5th of July

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment