Month: August 2023

Nelson

In the kingdom of the blind
A one-eyed man is king
He wears a tricorn hat
And his right arm’s just a sling
They’ll pickle him in brandy
When his last race is run
And he’s shagging Lady Hamilton
In a pub they call The Gun

His pals in the West Indies
Are keen on keeping slaves
That damnable Wilberforce
Our one-eyed hero raves
I’ll fight him with both arm and tongue
The lifestyle he betrays
I’m old school colonialist
And Britannia rules the waves

In the kingdom of the blind
A one-eyed man is king
He wears a tricorn hat
And his right arm’s just a sling
One day there’ll be a column
Upon which he’ll proudly stand
And the blind eye will be ours
In this green and pleasant land

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Susan Hall

Will London elect a racist mayor
In Susan, who doesn’t care
For carnival, says it’s hell
Is anti-#BLM as well
And in supporting Donald Trump
Tried to give Sadiq the hump

Susan, known to opine
On black folks and the cause of crime
Says she will hunt down and lock up
With a special team set up

Safer With Susan the tagline screams
Makes you wonder from whom she means

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Derek Wants His Country Back

Derek wants his country back
It’ll be in the last place that he looks
It won’t be on the bookshelf
Nestled amongst the books
Or in the cupboard under the stairs
Behind the coats on hooks
It won’t be in the kitchen
Being hidden by the cooks
It won’t be wedged in any crannies
Nor in any nooks
It won’t be floating in rivers
Streams, canals or brooks
Or up a tree, cached away
By magpies, crows or rooks
It won’t be missing legitimately
Or stolen by some crooks
Or on holiday in Israel
Staying on a kibbutz
It won’t be waiting patiently
Or on tenterhooks
It won’t be in the hunting lodge
Or on the plain it overlooks
It’s not hovering in helicopters
Be they Sikorskies or Chinooks
Or in the chicken shed
Laying with the chooks
Derek wants his country back
He’s tearing out his hair
But unfortunately for Derek
It was never really there

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Bibby Stockholm

Refugees on barges
Jeering little Farages
When Britannia ruled the waves
James Bibby was transporting slaves
Meanwhile humanitarians
Are Nick Ferrari’s enemy

Refugees on prison ships
Suella’s bag of cruel tricks
Singing Rule Britannia
Let’s make you all unhappier
Somewhere there’s a statue
That needs chucking in the sea

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