Tag: england

Being English

The sign on the door says a nice woman
And a grumpy old man live here
Around the back a ten foot fence surrounds a garden
In which you sense that they may soon appear
By a shiny new flagpole and an even newer flag
Still flying the creases from the bag

This is our kingdom
This is our green and pleasant land
This is our place in the world
But we don’t understand
How all the money that we spend on being English
Doesn’t make being English very grand

It’s not racist, says the grumpy old man
But the basis for his racism is fear
When everything is getting worse and it’s hard to understand
Just blame them lot coming over here
With a shiny new flagpole and an even newer flag
Still flying the creases from the bag

This is our kingdom
Says the grumpy old man
This is our place in the world
But we don’t understand
How all the money that we spend on being English
Doesn’t make being English very grand

The people round here, says the nice woman
Used to be quite happy with their lot
There were factories and shops and their kids got better jobs
They worked hard for everything they got
Now they’ve got a shiny flagpole and an even newer flag
Still flying the creases from the bag

This is our kingdom
This is our green and pleasant land
This is our place in the world
And we’d share it if we can
But all the money that we spend on being English
Doesn’t make being English very grand

At Toad Hall a frog-faced fascist lights a cigarette
Pours a glass of Chablis with a grin
As he sleeps, his assets grow and grow
He owns the houses that other folk live in
He sells them shiny flagpoles and even newer flags
Still flying the creases from their bags

This is his kingdom
This is his green and pleasant land
This is his place in the world
And he fully understands
How all the money that they spend on being English
Makes his England really rather grand

This is our kingdom
This is our green and pleasant land
This is our world to share
And we need to understand
That the money that we spend on being English
Can make a world for all of us that’s grand

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

Spain 2-1 England

He packs away the pop-up tent
The kids were watching in
And sends congrats
To friends viewing in Spain

In high streets up and down the land
The homeward trudge of England fans
The disappointment
And the not again

No shame in second best
But the DV stats attest
That some blokes really shouldn’t mix booze
With their pain

The armchair rancour piles up
As Morata lifts the cup
Brings an end
To the ’24 campaign

by Categories: poetry, SteveTags: , , , , Leave a comment

Derek and the Euros

Derek’s singing No Surrender
In the comfort of his own front room
Cos it’s too politically correct
To keep St George in your heart these days, he fumes

Cos Derek won two world wars
And Derek won one world cup
So, Derek won’t offer any applause
To players who won’t stand up

Gareth say be proud of an England
Where players take the knee
In the interests of pride and the interests of respect
And a little equality

Equality scoffs Derek, now he’s playing for a draw
That’s not what I tuned into the Euros for
Keep St George in my heart and God save the Queen
And God help us get out of Group D

Derek’s singing No Surrender
In the comfort of his own front room
Cos its seating room only in that pub on the front
Can’t be doing booking tables in the local ‘Spoon

Gareth says be proud of an England
Where the players take the knee
With responsibility to the community
Out of respect and out of duty

Derek says, well, it’s Marxist
(Oh come on, why doesn’t he pass it?)
You should keep your politics out of the game
All lives matter, know what I’m saying?

Derek’s singing No Surrender
In the comfort of his own front room
There’s no thought police between the carpets and the curtains
His home’s his castle, of that he’s certain

Gareth says be proud of an England
Where the players take the knee
And in the interests of pride and the interests of respect
They’ll stand and sing God Save The Queen

And Derek’s singing No Surrender
But St George in his heart ain’t so sure
Stand for the anthem, kneel for your brothers
Maybe ain’t so bad after all

by Categories: Lyrics, SteveTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment